Alum visiting colleges with daughter Qestion

[southernbelle14]

Originally Posted by pinkturtles

Thank you for your advice. I wasn't taking my daughter to get a "leg up" but rather for my enjoyment of seeing the DZ house as a proud alum and for my daughter to experience a sorority house for the first time with me. We unfortunately have never been able to visit my school and sorority house for alumnae events.

As I stated in an earlier post, I know it's a slim chance that she would join my sorority..... Even in my day, legacies were cut. Of course we had to have a VERY good reason to do so. I remember all us girls heartbroken when we had to cut a legacy because she just wasn't a good fit. I wouldn't want my daughter to be in a sorority that wasn't a good fit for her just because it was my sorority.

From what I've heard, being a legacy may not even get you an invite back for the second round. In some ways it's better. Who wants to get in a sorority just because their mother was. Some sororities might pass on a girl that's a great fit if she's a legacy to a different sorority. Visiting has nothing to do with having the members look out for my kid and to give her high priority. Some of us are very proud of our chapter and just want to visit for the sake of visiting.

With all that said, I didn't realize my simple question would have such a harsh response. I thought your first response was a little curt, but wow you really slammed it with the second one. As a moderator, you should be a little careful with the tone of your responses. As a mother, I worry how your harsh responses could affect a young girl if you answer their questions in the same manner.

While this is America, free speech is not part of greek chat. You are not to disagree with anything the moderators do. Or any regular member really.

Good luck to your daughter in making her decision!

[33girl]

Originally Posted by southernbelle14

While this is America, free speech is not part of greek chat. You are not to disagree with anything the moderators do. Or any regular member really.

Good luck to your daughter in making her decision!

pinkturtles, just to let you know, southernbelle14 says that a size six girl is fat. So the phrase "consider the source" is particularly apt here.

[pinkturtles]

[southernbelle14]

Originally Posted by 33girl

pinkturtles, just to let you know, southernbelle14 says that a size six girl is fat. So the phrase "consider the source" is particularly apt here.

actually... I said at my school it is considered fat. Everyone here took that as me saying I think it's fat. I was just stating my school's standards.
But no one here actually reads accurately. They just read what they want to hear.

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by pinkturtles

Thank you for your advice. I wasn't taking my daughter to get a "leg up" but rather for my enjoyment of seeing the DZ house as a proud alum and for my daughter to experience a sorority house for the first time with me. We unfortunately have never been able to visit my school and sorority house for alumnae events.

As I stated in an earlier post, I know it's a slim chance that she would join my sorority..... Even in my day, legacies were cut. Of course we had to have a VERY good reason to do so. I remember all us girls heartbroken when we had to cut a legacy because she just wasn't a good fit. I wouldn't want my daughter to be in a sorority that wasn't a good fit for her just because it was my sorority.

From what I've heard, being a legacy may not even get you an invite back for the second round. In some ways it's better. Who wants to get in a sorority just because their mother was. Some sororities might pass on a girl that's a great fit if she's a legacy to a different sorority. Visiting has nothing to do with having the members look out for my kid and to give her high priority. Some of us are very proud of our chapter and just want to visit for the sake of visiting.

With all that said, I didn't realize my simple question would have such a harsh response. I thought your first response was a little curt, but wow you really slammed it with the second one. As a moderator, you should be a little careful with the tone of your responses. As a mother, I worry how your harsh responses could affect a young girl if you answer their questions in the same manner.

What in the free world?

If you'd be so kind as to go back and read, I STARTED my response by saying "NOT that this is what YOU are thinking, but just a GENERAL comment" about visits."

It wasn't my intent to say that that's what you're doing. Which is why I started my post with that...

It was more of a general comment because yes, there are parents who will take a daughter on a visit thinking those things and I like for people to know (not YOU, but others) that that's not how it works.

BTW, I'm probably the least offensive human being on this site. If you think I'm offensive, you should stick around.

[DrPhil]

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

What in the free world?

LOL

[33girl]

Originally Posted by southernbelle14

actually... I said at my school it is considered fat. Everyone here took that as me saying I think it's fat. I was just stating my school's standards.
But no one here actually reads accurately. They just read what they want to hear.

If you go to school there and you don't find this offensive, which you didn't seem to from your subsequent posts, it is to be surmised by any reasonable human being that these are YOUR standards as well.

[pinkturtles]

Originally Posted by Titchou

BTW, Alabama has a spring PH Preview Day. If she decides on Alabama, it's almost imperative that she attend that event. And all these schools are on the MUST HAVE rec list as well

Thanks for the info. If she chooses Alabama, we will definately go. She will be pretty good on recs, there may be one or two sororities we will need to go looking for. Of course she will have excellent references from her DZ Aunts and Mom Should she get only one rec per sorority? Is it frowned upon to get more than one? Thanks.

[southernbelle14]

Originally Posted by 33girl

If you go to school there and you don't find this offensive, which you didn't seem to from your subsequent posts, it is to be surmised by any reasonable human being that these are YOUR standards as well.

Yeah I came in bigger than everyone else (about a size 6 when all my friends were a size 0-2). I now have an eating disorder. It obviously doesn't affect me at all
These unfortunately are just the standards I have to live with.

[WCsweet<3]

Originally Posted by pinkturtles

Thanks for the info. If she chooses Alabama, we will definately go. She will be pretty good on recs, there may be one or two sororities we will need to go looking for. Of course she will have excellent references from her DZ Aunts and Mom Should she get only one rec per sorority? Is it frowned upon to get more than one? Thanks.

While I am not an expert on the schools you are referring to, I believe have 2 or 3 is acceptable at Alabama and Ole Miss, however having 4 is a little excessive. I am not sure about UF. It is important to have rec letters to all of the chapters from women that know your daughter. A great thread to read about this is the general advice thread located at the top of the sorority recruitment section.

If I am wrong about the amount, please someone correct me. It was what I have gathered about the schools over GC. Schools in the South are not my exact lane.

[33girl]

Originally Posted by southernbelle14

Yeah I came in bigger than everyone else (about a size 6 when all my friends were a size 0-2). I now have an eating disorder. It obviously doesn't affect me at all
These unfortunately are just the standards I have to live with.

You're awfully cavalier about eating disorders. That's disgusting.

[southernbelle14]

Originally Posted by 33girl

You're awfully cavalier about eating disorders. That's disgusting.

You're an awfully judgmental bitch for knowing nothing about me. You disgust me. You have no idea what I'm dealing with or how I feel about it. So keep your reprimands to your self.

[33girl]

Originally Posted by southernbelle14

You're an awfully judgmental bitch for knowing nothing about me. You disgust me. You have no idea what I'm dealing with or how I feel about it. So keep your reprimands to yourself.

Then don't put winky/smiley faces on your posts about eating disorders. If you don't understand what something means, don't use it. (Translation since you don't, apparently) Winky/smiley face means "ha ha, just kidding, hope you liked the joke." Your post said to me (and most likely to most people) that you were kidding about having an eating disorder and found the whole concept of EDs a great giggle. If that isn't what you meant, you really need to edit your post or delete it.

[southernbelle14]

Originally Posted by 33girl

Then don't put winky/smiley faces on your posts about eating disorders. If you don't understand what something means, don't use it. (Translation since you don't, apparently) Winky/smiley face means "ha ha, just kidding, hope you liked the joke." Your post said to me (and most likely to most people) that you were kidding about having an eating disorder and found the whole concept of EDs a great giggle. If that isn't what you meant, you really need to edit your post or delete it.

It was used in a sarcastic way.

[DrPhil]

Originally Posted by southernbelle14

It was used in a sarcastic way.

I know you were attempting sarcasm but it failed miserably, not only because of the subject matter but because of your short tumultuous (LOL) presence on GC.