Social Affiliates?

[AnotherKD]

Originally Posted by 33girl

The point is that when you've been Greek, to transfer to another school that doesn't have your sorority and having to watch all the other Greeks having fun while you sit on the sidelines is not fun.

Not true at all. At least from my experience.

[33girl]

Everyone's different. I know that if I had transferred to, say, Pitt (which doesn't have ASA) after I was used to going to meetings, mixers, sisterhood events and just hanging out, I would not have just missed my sisters, I would have missed being part of Greek life in general.

At least the OP is trying to be straight up about it and not pulling the "can I join another group since I transferred" crap. I don't think she's being in disloyal to KD in any way - she's a young adult who had a very active social life that now doesn't exist.

Thread on transferring. Keep in mind it's several years old, so I don't know if the NPC mentioned in the thread still has the same policies.

[AnotherKD]

She may have had "a very active social like that now doesn't exist", but there are other ways to have an active social life in college without being part of the Greek system. At least that's what we tell people that don't get bids, right?????

Yes, everyone's different and I can tell she is bring very respectful. I'm just saying, simply because she's not in a sorority now, her social life won't disappear. She won't stay in every night, make no friends, and not go to any more parties for the rest of her college career. My social life was extremely full after transferring, and while I did miss KD and all my sisters had to offer, I was happy and fulfilled and didn't pine away for Greek life every single time I saw someone in their letters. Hell, in fact, being a KD made me somewhat of a novelty, as I became friends with a lot of girls in different houses because they thought me being in some sorority they knew nothing about was kinda cool.

Again, I know, everyone's different. Just my take.

[RU OX Alum]

I hope she finds some new friends that will let her hang out and do sorority girl stuff. She seems sad about transferring.

[agzg]

Originally Posted by AnotherKD

She may have had "a very active social like that now doesn't exist", but there are other ways to have an active social life in college without being part of the Greek system. At least that's what we tell people that don't get bids, right?????

Let's be honest, we only tell them that to make them feel better.

Everyone knows there is no social outside of Greek Life.

/sarcasm.

[AnotherKD]

Originally Posted by agzg

Let's be honest, we only tell them that to make them feel better.

Everyone knows there is no social outside of Greek Life.

/sarcasm.

I needed a laugh today, especially right now. I'm dragging over here... Monday afternoons are the worst.

[KD4Me]

Haley - I would encourage you to at least look into whether there is an alumnae chapter near your new school, and if so, to meet the ladies there. I am a member of a large AC in a metropolitan area, and we had a KD join us two years ago who transferred from an out-of-state school to a local university with no collegiate chapter. She was only 20 at the time, but she has been a very active member of our group, and is currently serving on our Executive Board. Our membership covers a wide age range, but we do have some girls who are very recent college graduates, so her stage of life isn't too terribly different than theirs. Of course, it's not the same experience as being a collegiate member, but if that option is not open to you at your new school, it can be a great alternative, if the local AC is a good fit for you.

At the very least, it couldn't hurt to know alumnae from your sorority in your new town.

[tld221]

Originally Posted by MysticCat

It seems to have disappeared along with the "orphaned Greek" groups. Often, larger campuses would have an organization (or two -- one male and one female) for transfers who were Greek but whose chapters weren't on campus. For purposes of things like Greek week and social events, the orphan Greek group was treated like another chapter.

Sounds like a cool idea in theory.

Originally Posted by DrPhil

Wise people contact their regional and/or national entity to ask such questions instead of asking Greekchat. Research whether or not a such thing happens for YOUR organization. Even if it is lesser known or less common, that doesn't mean it is formally forbidden. If it is formally and/or informally forbidden, find that out and try to understand why.

NPHC orgs often have members from other campuses attend collegiate chapter events if it is not against chapter or national policies (national trumps chapter) and there are no risk management issues associated with it. For campuses where the NPHC org does not exist, it is not uncommon for members to find a nearby collegiate AND graduate chapter to continue some level of activity and keep their "presence in the pipeline." The particulars depend on the organization's policies and procedures.

People REALLY need to use their national headquarters. What else are you paying dues to them for?

[APhiAnna]

It appears I'm in the minority, but I'm with 33Girl. A whole world of specific social activities just disappeared for her. Sure, you can have a social life without a sorority, but if you are used to mixers/exchanges/swaps/raids (whatever your school calls them) with fraternities, formals and date parties, Greek Week and sisterhood retreats, you are not initially going to be happy with the options.

In many ways, the social experience of a NPC sorority is the hardest to replicate. For example, I extensively supported a philanthropy in high school that is not Alpha Phi's philanthropy (it is a philanthropy of another NPC that was not at my campus though). I wanted to continue with the organization, so I did that side-by-side with Alpha Phi's philanthropy events. She could easily find philanthropic activities to help out with Girl Scouts or Prevent Child Abuse America if she wanted.

But Greek social events are typically hard to replicate. If I hadn't gone Greek at my school, I would have still had an amazing social life...it would just be very different than the one I ended up having. So I can totally see why she is upset.

[ChinaBuffet]

Originally Posted by 33girl

The point is that when you've been Greek, to transfer to another school that doesn't have your sorority and having to watch all the other Greeks having fun while you sit on the sidelines is not fun.

I'm EL, I'm a Pi Beta Phi and I love my sisters, my letters, and our values. I am deeply committed to improving my community through service. The school I went to has a chapter of Epsilon Sigma Alpha service sorority, and my junior year I went to their "rush" event, I figured that it would be like my business fraternity just service based. When I got there, I saw how close their sisterhood is and how much fun they have together. I also found that their chapter runs almost exactly like my Pi Phi chapter except they do more service projects each semester. They have social events, formals, rituals, everything! Right then, I knew I couldn't join. They were a "real" sorority and I'd already found my sisters.
I graduated, and then just recently decided to go to another school to get a second degree. This school is a commuter campus and has 1 NPC sorority and it's not Pi Phi. When I got here, I desperately missed my sisters. I need that fellowship, but the sorority here has low numbers and there isn't a need for another social sorority. Then I decided to focus on volunteering; I browsed the university website and didn't find a single service organization! Then I remembered back to that day I went to the ESA recruitment. I researched their organization and requested information on their website. The very next afternoon I got an email. Tracy Swanson (who is an Alpha Phi) literally did all of the foot work. She contacted my school's student activities office, she talked them into letting me set up a booth at the activities fair even though ESA wasn't established there, and she put me in touch with ESAs in my state that could help guide me. They showed up to help at my booth. 20 members of the other collegiate chapters , a former international president (!) and the state president came to my first call out meeting. They were very excited to have a new chapter and have been so supportive ever since then. This meeting was in September, we affiliated with the university in November, and we chartered our chapter in January. It was all actually a surprisingly simple process! Tracy said that it can be done in as few as 2 months.
These girls are not my Pi Phi sisters and will never replace my experiences in my chapter, but our sisterhood is really just as strong! I cherish ESA’s symbols and meanings just as much as Pi Beta Phi’s. What's so fantastic about ESA is that they have no requirements of their chapters, all of them do things differently, and some of their chapters don't even do ritual! Chapters are encouraged to develop symbols and meanings that are important to them and incorporate them into the initiation ceremony.
Because the only experience I have with a sorority is with Pi Phi, my chapter does a lot of things like NPC sororities (I don't know any other way). I try very hard not to do anything exactly like my chapter did them, I've twisted things to make them uniquely ESA, created things that I'd never done before, and used a lot of input and ideas from my other charter members who know nothing about how sororities function. When we meet up with the other collegiate chapters in the state and we swap ideas, we always integrate things they do that are ESA tradition that we didn't know about, and they find things that we do that they want to adopt. They have a week of rush parties followed by pinning (sound familiar?) that increasingly become more formal as the week goes on. Our chapter does the same thing but probably with a little more NPC influence.
We are brand new but I feel like because of my experiences, the overwhelming support of the other ESA chapters in our state and our national HQ, and the dedication of my new sisters, we are starting strong! ESA can be anything its founders want it to be, it can be all service, all social, or a mixture of both! Women, not letters make a sisterhood.
Maybe you could find another type of college sorority or even a community based sorority to join. When you find the right one, just like with KD, you'll know you found your new home! PM me if you want more info, even though this went on for miles as it is!
epsilonsigmaalpha.org
esaintl.org

Good luck! I hope this helps. You will find sisters again, even if it's just a friend that sits next to you in biology!

[Alumiyum]

My mom has mentioned social affiliates before but I'm not sure if her chapter had any or not. As I understand it, they paid some small amount, just not regular dues and obviously did not attend any event involving ritual (like initiation events).

Maybe you could start an "orphaned Greeks" group on your campus.

[VandalSquirrel]

Social Affiliates = Risk Management/Insurance nightmare (members do enough of that on their own )

[ree-Xi]

A bit of-topic, but...along the lines of what someone else mentioned, the OP might be missing the structure that her sorority provided. Meetings on a certain day, sisterhood dinners on another, annual or semesterly events to plan for and look forward to (recruitment, formals, Greek Week, etc.). When you're Greek, there's a "built in" schedule for you. I can see how it might be difficult to go from a structured, scheduled life outside classes with a large group of girls who you are close with and a common bond, to one where you have to find the bits and pieces through other outlets.

Whereas being Greek isn't the only access to a social or structured life, going from Greek to non-Greek is an adjustment (in addition to losing the daily interactions with sisters and being part of something you deeply care about).

It's work; you're starting over at a new school. In a way, you need to get out of the collegiate Greek mindset and go on with campus life as if you were a new, unaffiliated freshman. There are tons of ways to find some structure (such as the campus newspaper or yearbook that has a schedule and deadlines), something you can get emotionally invested in (a faith-based group or a hobby), camaraderie/goal-oriented (intramural sports or theater - backstage or onstage), and leadership and planning (student government or campus committees).

Chances are, you did more at your previous school than just be a member of your sorority, or perhaps there were things you wanted to do but didn't have the time. Now is a chance to do something different. You can still fulfill your needs, and you'll be broadening your circle of friends. I went to two schools and have friends from both.

If there is a service sorority, that might be an option as well. Just remember that you are not replacing your social sorority, but that the two types of organizations exist for very specific reasons. My membership in Gamma Sigma Sigma and Alpha Xi Delta are two different worlds. Sure, some things overlap, but they each mean two very different things to me.

I personally wouldn't want to affiliate with a group if I could never be a member. I'd either feel cheated or left out. No reason why you can't be friends with Greeks at your new school, but it doesn't make a lot of sense to me to be a 'tag along".

Change is never easy, but you can have a great life at your new school. Good luck!

[33girl]

Originally Posted by ree-Xi

I personally wouldn't want to affiliate with a group if I could never be a member. I'd either feel cheated or left out. No reason why you can't be friends with Greeks at your new school, but it doesn't make a lot of sense to me to be a 'tag along".

I think to classify it as a "tag along" is very harsh and unfair. SAs (when they were existed) were ASKED to participate by the members of the fraternity or sorority because they liked them and felt for them in what is a crappy situation. That's like saying if you had a friend with no family and invited her to Thanksgiving dinner, why would she want to come and be a "tag along."

This is like little sister organizations...if you don't know anyone personally who did it or weren't Greek in the time period when it was acceptable, you really can't judge it. Especially using today's standards, when it seems sometimes the business side of Greek life way overrides the friendship side.

[ree-Xi]

Originally Posted by 33girl

I think to classify it as a "tag along" is very harsh and unfair. SAs (when they were existed) were ASKED to participate by the members of the fraternity or sorority because they liked them and felt for them in what is a crappy situation. That's like saying if you had a friend with no family and invited her to Thanksgiving dinner, why would she want to come and be a "tag along."

This is like little sister organizations...if you don't know anyone personally who did it or weren't Greek in the time period when it was acceptable, you really can't judge it. Especially using today's standards, when it seems sometimes the business side of Greek life way overrides the friendship side.

No offense intended. I meant, and I said, that if "I personally" were in such a situation, and I could only participate in certain things while everyone else had full access and privileges, it would really bum me out.

And I am not talking about the time period in which such groups were common. I'm talking about present day. Again, I wrote from MY perspective. It's not a judgment by any means.