Room for Individual Growth?

[Senusret I]

Yeah, I've worn jeans to chapter meeting and dared somebody to say anything about it.

They never did.

<----- a beast.

[Elephant Walk]

Originally Posted by Senusret I

Yeah, I've worn jeans to chapter meeting and dared somebody to say anything about it.

They never did.

<----- a beast.

Cool aaaaand tough.

Impressive.

[oncegreek]

Being in a sorority DOES require following certain rules. I can understand how you feel about dressing up for meetings, and I understand chafing at rules. Perhaps sorority life is not for you.. if not, do yourself, and your chapter a favor, and deactivate.

[MysticCat]

Originally Posted by FunGirl123

and to just to clarify again : I do not mind looking presentable in a BUSINESS setting. but not when im at school with my friends/sisters.

Just an FYI -- this reads to me like "I don't mind showing respect in a business setting by dressing appropriately, but I don't want to have to show respect to my sisters/friends/sorority/a fraternity hosting a party at which I am a guest."

If you were always having to dress up, I could see your point, but the only examples you've given are chapter meetings and parties at which you are a guest -- two occassions when it is not at all unreasonable to expect people to dress appropriately. How does all of this make you feel like your sisters are demanding that you be perfect, or to use your first phrase, how is it keeping you from growing as an individual? I'm just not getting it.

[moe.ron]

Leave and be happy. Nothing to it.

[honeychile]

FunGirl123, what year are you in? Did you join this year?

I ask this because a lot of last term seniors may feel this way, but if you're a freshman or sophmore, I think you need to sleep on your decision. You've been given some seriously good advice.

[LadyLonghorn]

So basically you find it's important to dress up and impress strangers but are unwilling to show the same respect to the sisters you love?

[gee_ess]

If the comments and judgments from sisters are typical - i.e. your example of someone being told to suck in her stomach, and they happen often, then, you might express your concerns to your standards officer...BUT, make sure you are clearly complaining about something like the stomach comment and not about dressing appropriately for chapter or being told to better represent your group when in a social setting.

As mentioned in earlier posts, sorority responsibilities are a good training ground for the real world. There are societal and corporate rules for the big world - You cannot just "be who you are and throw caution to the wind" in the adult world. It does not work like that...so consider these restrictions a practice round.

You can't always have everything on your terms...You can't be a hard worker and support your group, but stop short of cooperating 100%.

[Kansas City]

Being tired or living off campus shouldn't be an excuse for not dressing appropriately in any situation. Understanding that expectations of “proper dress” may differ across the country, I’m sure that you could find something that is both appropriate and comfortable to wear on the particularly long days when you just don’t feel like it. Being part of a group means playing by their rules. I’m just sorry that you feel you cannot express your individuality in a way that appropriately matches those rules.

As far as the stomach comments, are these only an issue when people are dressing up or do they occur in everyday situations (classes, library, etc.)? I can't seem to draw the line between the two points you are trying to make.

[ASTalumna06]

And is it just me, or did anyone else feel "special" when they were dressed up on campus? Now, in the business world, I don't really get the same feeling about it because I do it every day. But when in college, if I was dressed up for the entire day, I always got questions from my non-Greek friends, and even from some people in class.

Actually, that was one way that I got a student interested in Greek life. She was a friend of a friend, and when I sat with them at lunch, my friend asked, "A sorority event today?" When I said yes, her friend asked, sounding pleasantly surprised, "You dress up for sorority events?" I started talking to her about it, and she joined the chapter the next semester.

It's amazing what looking good can do for you.

[agzg]

Originally Posted by ASTalumna06

And is it just me, or did anyone else feel "special" when they were dressed up on campus? Now, in the business world, I don't really get the same feeling about it because I do it every day. But when in college, if I was dressed up for the entire day, I always got questions from my non-Greek friends, and even from some people in class.

Actually, that was one way that I got a student interested in Greek life. She was a friend of a friend, and when I sat with them at lunch, my friend asked, "A sorority event today?" When I said yes, her friend asked, sounding pleasantly surprised, "You dress up for sorority events?" I started talking to her about it, and she joined the chapter the next semester.

It's amazing what looking good can do for you.

In undergrad if we were all dressed up (which, btw, was every Monday plus Sunday nights for chapter), we looked sooooooooo fierce!

When I was in grad school I dressed up so much that people didn't really notice - I stuck out from some other students but I only got comments when I wore my red heels or a full on suit.

Earlier this week I was talking to a friend from grad school about a part of a particular hiring process where you want to be comfortable but still look professional and he said "Listen, not to gross you out or anything because we're friends but when you had presentations in class and wore a suit instead of a nice skirt or pants and a nice top, you looked so hot I think most of our classmates would have followed you to the end of the Earth."

It made me blush but let's face it, a well-dressed lady, no matter her size, looks AMAZING. It just gives off the aura of power, and I know I've said this on greekchat before but power is SEXY.

[AOEforme]

Originally Posted by FunGirl123

I guess the problem I am having right now is that your sisters should accept you, no matter what.

Originally Posted by FunGirl123

But I feel like being with your sisters in your chapter room at meeting is entirely different.

Your sisters DO accept you no matter what. But they're trying to prepare you for that beast of a place after college know as "The Real World".

Chapter is NOT an informal setting. It's a meeting; consequently, you should be in an appropriate, professional mood. What sets off a professional mood better than professional attire?

If you can't wear sweatpants to Grey's Anatomy nights, I could see complaining. However, your dress codes are for situations where you are either (1) expected to act professional or (2) representing your group (such as those fraternity parties). Do you also complain about recruitment dress codes?

When Greeks at my school b*** and moan about how there are so many rules and how we have to act appropriately always and represent our organization, do you know what we're told by our Greek advisors?

Tough, because by accepting that pin with those letters, you are accepting being held to a higher standard than an average college student. You are held to a higher GPA, more community service hours, and overall, to be a more responsible human being.

That's what your sisters are for: to hold you to a higher standard. Not an impossible standard (no one deserves that), but a HIGHER standard. The purpose of any sorority is to make women into better women and that's what your sisters are doing.

If you can't live with that, I would suggest leaving. Because no one is going to tell your chapter (not nationals, not Greek advisors, not even your parents) to lower their standards. They're trying to create upstanding ladies.

I'm almost done with college and I'm at the point in life where I'm doing all sorts of interviews and pre-professional things. I am SO glad my chapter has held me to such a high standard. I know how to dress for interviews. I know how to hold myself and how to act around others. I know how to make a darn good first impression. That's the benefit to being held to that high standard.

Originally Posted by FunGirl123

This has been blown entirely out of proportion.

Also, from the title of this thread, it appears you've blown the situation out of proportion. They aren't stifling your individual growth... they're helping you out in the long run.

[honeychile]

Originally Posted by ASTalumna06

And is it just me, or did anyone else feel "special" when they were dressed up on campus? Now, in the business world, I don't really get the same feeling about it because I do it every day. But when in college, if I was dressed up for the entire day, I always got questions from my non-Greek friends, and even from some people in class.

Actually, that was one way that I got a student interested in Greek life. She was a friend of a friend, and when I sat with them at lunch, my friend asked, "A sorority event today?" When I said yes, her friend asked, sounding pleasantly surprised, "You dress up for sorority events?" I started talking to her about it, and she joined the chapter the next semester.

It's amazing what looking good can do for you.

Yes, I did, too. If you look dressed up, you'll feel special. A big thing when I was in school was to wear your pin on test days.

[AGDee]

I keep sitting here trying to figure out how dressing like a slob in a business meeting and behaving immaturely in public is "growth". Individual "expression" perhaps, but certainly not growth. Growth indicates maturity and dressing for success, developing good etiquette skills and poise are growth. You can, most certainly, express yourself individually within that context.

[AOII Angel]

I hated getting dressed up in college, too. I didn't have much in the way of nice clothes ( I spent all my money spoiling my 3 littles.) I dressed up anyway. It may have not been my favorite type of dress, but it was good PR. It's not like I had to do it every day! Suck it up...sometimes you have to do things for the good of the chapter not just for yourself!