I think that at the core of your boyfriend's problem is that he is afraid of what he does not know. Most people outside the Greek system have very heavy stereotypical ideas about what Greeks are all about. I am sure that your boyfriend is mostly worried about you going to a Greek party and hooking up with some Fraternity guy.
I had the same problem with my girlfriend when I pledged...she was very suspicious anytime I went to a social or a mixer with a sorority...she just "knew" I was going to get drunk and cheat on her with some drunk sorority girl. That never happened (as my brothers can attest to) because I was committed to her (we've dated for 5 years), and she just had to learn to trust me in those situations.
Once she got over her initial distrust and dislike for my fraternity (although there are still some individual Brothers she does not like), she became very involved in that part of my life and eventually ended up meeting some girls and pledging a sorority herself.
My advice to you is to be patient with your boyfriend, and do not give him any reason to distrust you. Get him involved as much as you can...have him help you study for your pledge exams, invite him to functions (parties, fundraisers, community service projects, etc.) to meet your sisters and most importantly to meet your sisters' dates (fraternity guys). The more involved he is, the more he will understand.
The issue of secrets is another thing...just tell him that there are certain things that your sorority is based on and there are things that you can only share with your sisters and he should respect that. What ever you do, no matter how much he bugs you, DO NOT, EVER, EVER, tell him the ritual or secrets of your sorority. Although it will hold a special meaning to you, and I am sure you would like it to have the same meaning to him, do not jepordize your bond with the sorority by betraying the core issue of secrecy...because I can promise you that if you do tell, it will mean NOTHING to him other than a personal victory in your relationship.
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