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Along those same lines, here are the "Top Ten Rejected Valentines" (warning, some of them are a little, er, controversial):
10. I admire your strength, I admire your spunk,
But the thing I like best, is getting you drunk.
9. Our love will never become cold and hollow.
Unless, one day, you refuse to swallow.
8. I bought this Valentine's card at the store
In hopes that, later, you'd be my whore.
7. This feels so good, it feels so right,
I just wish it wasn't $250 a night.
6. You're a woman of style, you're a woman of class,
Especially when I'm spanking, your big-round-fat ass.
5. Before I met you, my heart was so famished,
But now I'm fulfilled... SO MAKE ME A SAMICH!!!
4. Through all the things that came to pass,
Our love has grown... but so's your ass.
3. You're a honey, and you're a cutie
I just wished you had J-Lo's "booty".
2. I don't wanna be sappy or silly or corny
So, right to the point, let's do it, I'm horny!
1. If you think that hickey looks like a blister,
You should check out the one that I gave to your sister!
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