Most Romantic/Least Romantic
 

These are entries to a competition asking for a rhyme with the most romantic first line but least romantic second line for a valentine:

Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss > > > but I only slept with you because I was pissed.
I thought that I could love no other > > > Until, that is, I met your brother

Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you. > > > But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's empty,and so is your head.

Of loving beauty you float with grace > > > If only you could hide your face

Kind, intelligent, loving and hot > > > This describes everything you are not

I want to feel your sweet embrace > > > But don't take that paper bag off of your face

I love your smile, your face, and your eyes- > > > Damn, I'm good at telling lies!

My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife: > > > Marrying you has screwed up my life

I see your face when I am dreaming > > > That's why I always wake up screaming

My love you take my breath away > > > What have you stepped in to smell this way?

My feelings for you no words can tell > > > Except for maybe "go to hell"

What inspired this amorous rhyme? > > > Two parts vodka, one part lime.

Along those same lines, here are the "Top Ten Rejected Valentines" (warning, some of them are a little, er, controversial):

10. I admire your strength, I admire your spunk,
But the thing I like best, is getting you drunk.

9. Our love will never become cold and hollow.
Unless, one day, you refuse to swallow.

8. I bought this Valentine's card at the store
In hopes that, later, you'd be my whore.

7. This feels so good, it feels so right,
I just wish it wasn't $250 a night.

6. You're a woman of style, you're a woman of class,
Especially when I'm spanking, your big-round-fat ass.

5. Before I met you, my heart was so famished,
But now I'm fulfilled... SO MAKE ME A SAMICH!!!

4. Through all the things that came to pass,
Our love has grown... but so's your ass.

3. You're a honey, and you're a cutie
I just wished you had J-Lo's "booty".

2. I don't wanna be sappy or silly or corny
So, right to the point, let's do it, I'm horny!

1. If you think that hickey looks like a blister,
You should check out the one that I gave to your sister!

I wouldn’t reject that Valentine.