Helicopters, Snowplows and Recruitment

[TXDG]

The snowplows come out when Mom is calling the chapters or Greek Life office to demand to know why Snowflake was released from “x” chapter or calling the New Member officer to demand Snowflake get “Suzy” for her Big Sis or complain about Snowflake trying to balance studying with sorority or to ask for an Excused absence for a chapter event. Anything that falls under something that Snowflake should do herself or things that shouldn’t be done at all.

Mom helping with recs, outfits, introductions is all par for the course here in TX, as is briefly showing up to Bid Day at some schools. I’m sure it’s a helicopter-ish but when literally everyone else is doing it, you’re setting your daughter up to fail at some schools to expect an 18-year-old to play and win at an alumnae’s game.

[NYCMS]

For me, snowplow moms - in addition to what everyone has written - are those mothers who pressure their daughters to the point of leaving them witless during rush.

My cousin went to an SEC school (decades ago but snowplows have always existed) and knew a girl whose mom said "pledge my house or drop out of school." She did join that house and developed a serious alcohol problem later that year, she was so unhappy. I remember a girl that my sorority wanted (at Arizona) who was in a similar situation and wound up in dear old Mom's house which was a total mis-match for her. She dropped out before initiation and didn't rush again.

[VioletsAreBlue]

Originally Posted by TXDG

Mom helping with recs, outfits, introductions is all par for the course here in TX, as is briefly showing up to Bid Day at some schools. I’m sure it’s a helicopter-ish but when literally everyone else is doing it, you’re setting your daughter up to fail at some schools to expect an 18-year-old to play and win at an alumnae’s game.

How do you define fail? Not getting a bid? Getting a bid to someplace other than preferred by either mom or daughter, or both?

And I think you hit the nail on the head. Sorority recruitment should be the collegiate game, not the alumnae game. It's a shame it's become that way.

[AXOrushadvisor]

When they call the Chapter President, Recruitment Adviser and past Chapter President to try to get their legacy a bid. Didn't work btw.

[carnation]

But you know why it can't be totally a collegiate game? Because some collegians absolutely can not see beyond the, say, beauty or popularity of certain PNMs to realize what risk management problems they can be.

I recall a recent situation in which an alum of one sorority was called by an alum of another one and was advised that a girl the first woman's group had carried to third parties had pictures on her social media of herself--urinating in the street on New Year's Eve, The sorority members of Group A had no idea. The girls kind of didn't want to cut her for that despite the proof because she was gorgeous, and the alums insisted. Apparently, most of the other sororities had seen it and cut her already.

I don't want any group to pledge anyone who's a huge risk in any way! I don't want a chapter of 100 innocent girls to lose their charter because of the actions of 1 or 2 girls!

[33girl]

Originally Posted by VioletsAreBlue

How do you define fail? Not getting a bid? Getting a bid to someplace other than preferred by either mom or daughter, or both?

And I think you hit the nail on the head. Sorority recruitment should be the collegiate game, not the alumnae game. It's a shame it's become that way.

Are you saying get rid of recs or what? Or disallow parent involvement? I really don’t think the latter is possible.

I mean even at my teeny not very competitive alma mater, I’m sure there probably were girls who were on the phone with their moms multiple times a day during rush trying to figure it out.