What to tell overconfident PNMs

[OldOleMiss]

AWESOME perspective Lovethesand-- THANKS!!! I guess I have never thought of it from the point of view of an OOS / non-greek / non SEC parent / PNM. Being from the south and then going through SEC recruitment my perspective is definitely more skewed. You are right- they really don't have any idea. I have tried to steer them to this site, but it was clear from my recent conversation that they have not checked it out. I really do hope that the teas will open daughters eyes a little bit, I also casually mentioned it to another friend of ours who, while did not attend a competitive recruitment school, was in a sorority and knows the importance of recs... she is going to see if she can also slip into the conversation in the coming days how daughter is going to need much much more than just some cute outfits and a couple of tea invites. Like I said in my rant I really do pray that they come to their senses...

[AOIILisa]

Originally Posted by OldOleMiss

AWESOME perspective Lovethesand-- THANKS!!! I guess I have never thought of it from the point of view of an OOS / non-greek / non SEC parent / PNM. Being from the south and then going through SEC recruitment my perspective is definitely more skewed. You are right- they really don't have any idea. I have tried to steer them to this site, but it was clear from my recent conversation that they have not checked it out. I really do hope that the teas will open daughters eyes a little bit, I also casually mentioned it to another friend of ours who, while did not attend a competitive recruitment school, was in a sorority and knows the importance of recs... she is going to see if she can also slip into the conversation in the coming days how daughter is going to need much much more than just some cute outfits and a couple of tea invites. Like I said in my rant I really do pray that they come to their senses...

Yes, or even from the POV of northern greeks who aren't on this site. Before I came here, I wouldn't have known how different SEC rush is from anywhere else and would have probably been just as nonchalant about getting recs as your friend.

As a reference: my alumnae chapter was just reviewing its goals for the year and one of them was to write at least one MIF (our term for a rec). We wrote.. exactly one, for someone who was going to a big SEC school. (There was a collective sigh around the room over what the poor kid is going to experience going through recruitment there!). Penn State and all the other PA schools just don't use recs, for the most part. Yet I am sure there are other AOII alum chapters that write hundreds!

[OldOleMiss]

What I can't understand though is like ASTalumna06 said- what does it hurt... why not line up the recs... I know the Ole Miss site specifically says on their website that recs are highly encouraged- and I have to imagine Alabama's says the same thing (???)-- so why not get them!!? I guess I am just an "over-preparer" but I always think "better safe than sorry" in any situation…

[Lovethesand]

Originally Posted by OldOleMiss

What I can't understand though is like ASTalumna06 said- what does it hurt... why not line up the recs... I know the Ole Miss site specifically says on their website that recs are highly encouraged- and I have to imagine Alabama's says the same thing (???)-- so why not get them!!? I guess I am just an "over-preparer" but I always think "better safe than sorry" in any situation…

I'm definitely like you - an over-preparer - while my Debbie isn't. Drives me absolutely crazy that she isn't and I'm sure it drives her crazy that I am.

I really think it goes back to you don't know what you don't know. I'm pretty sure once she gets to teas the other PNMs will open her eyes to SEC Greek reality.

[OldOleMiss]

I hope you are right love!! BTW I just finished reading Debbie's rush story and by far one of my faves!!!!

[thetalady]

Originally Posted by OldOleMiss

What I can't understand though is like ASTalumna06 said- what does it hurt... why not line up the recs... I know the Ole Miss site specifically says on their website that recs are highly encouraged- and I have to imagine Alabama's says the same thing (???)-- so why not get them!!? I guess I am just an "over-preparer" but I always think "better safe than sorry" in any situation…

I think they don't bother with recs for a couple of reasons:

1. It is just SOOOOOO much work (done with that dismissive tone that teenagers excell at)

2. Special Snowflakes think the rules don't apply to them because they are just... so... SPECIAL

3. Teenagers seem to think that if you can't do it via Instagram or Snapchat, it is ancient and trivial.

Yes, I am being a bit snarky today. Latest run in with a couple of little twits used up all of my restraint.

[als463]

Originally Posted by AOIILisa

Yes, or even from the POV of northern greeks who aren't on this site. Before I came here, I wouldn't have known how different SEC rush is from anywhere else and would have probably been just as nonchalant about getting recs as your friend.

As a reference: my alumnae chapter was just reviewing its goals for the year and one of them was to write at least one MIF (our term for a rec). We wrote.. exactly one, for someone who was going to a big SEC school. (There was a collective sigh around the room over what the poor kid is going to experience going through recruitment there!). Penn State and all the other PA schools just don't use recs, for the most part. Yet I am sure there are other AOII alum chapters that write hundreds!

I bolded what you said because it's a great point! I write recs for girls going through schools now as an involved alumna and a few of my girls have gone Phi Mu. I'll never forget when I was in college and we had a southern girl going through recruitment. We got a rec for her. Since I had never seen them used in recruitment, I thought it was a sign she really-really-really wanted to be a Phi Mu. I remember thinking, "Wow. This girl really wants to join our chapter. She even sent a headshot and a resume. She must really have her heart set on Phi Mu." I didn't know any better that this was common practice down south.