If I could tell my adolescent self what I know now...

[WhiteRose1912]

Originally Posted by DrPhil

I don't like that she began with platonic and nonplatonic relationships as though our conceptions of self are 100% contingent upon our conceptions of others. I don't like that she started with men and relationships. That is problematic for three reasons: (1) It is based on the gender stereotype of women being primarily concerned with emotions, men, and romanticism; (2) It is heterocentric; and (3) having a committed nonplatonic relationship is not a priority for everyone or a requirement for adulthood and happiness. I want people, in general, beginning with childhood, to know that there are many optional choices that have for centuries been presented as requirements for adulthood. So, when youth and young adults talk to me about certain things, I tell them to focus on self-improvement. Whether they want nonplatonic romantic relationships or some definition of family is a choice that is up to them. If nonplatonic romantic relationships or some concept of family is how they define self-improvement, more power to them, but I first recommend learning yourself before feeling the need to pursue other people. If your world would crumble if those people disappeared, it is perhaps the case that your conception of self was too reliant upon other people.

Well said.