University of Mississippi - Ole Miss Panhellenic Sorority Recruitment 2013

[Old_Row]

Originally Posted by Hearttoheart

Such great advice you ladies are giving!!!

Let me clarify a few things, (and not completely give my daughter away).

1. We are from out of state and she did not know any girls currently in any sorority. We did attend a Panhellenic event in our hometown where she met alumni advisors for three different chapters. These advisors arranged for her to stay with girls from their respective chapters. She took two seperate trips to Oxford last spring. The purpose of these trips was for her to have the ability to meet sorority girls.

2. Pretty much every weekend in the Spring, the fraternities hold huge "spring parties" (I didn't attend, but I got the impression that they were what we used to call "Keggers" back in the day). Anyway, my daughter and her hosts "facebooked" prior to her trips. All the girls she spoke to told her how much fun these parties were and how she needed to plan her trips on weekends when the best parties were taking place. I was under the impression from the alumni advisors that this was done all the time and kind of standard operating procedure.

Needless to say, my daughter had a great time, was picked up at the airport (80 miles away), treated to nice dinners, alcohol and fun parties. She had a blast sleeping in the dorms and met a ton of girls! This was where she was told that they expected her to drink, but it wouldn't be a good idea for her to get sloppy. She did exactly that. I hope and pray that she didn't ruin her chance to have a great rush because these advisors arranged these trips! She was wary of the fact that these girls could be testing her, and made sure she was on her best behavior!

As a mother, I absolutely do not condone under age drinking, but I am not naive enough to think it is not happening. Older daughter still thinks I am paronoid. (rolling my eyes here). When I tell my daughter that she will have to lay low and not be social for the first 6 weeks of her college freedom, she looks at me like my head is spinning around on my shoulders.

I SERIOUSLY WISH OLE MISS WOULD MOVE THEIR RECRUITMENT TO BEFORE CLASSES START LIKE EVERYONE ELSE!!! This way I stand a chance of not pulling ALL my hair out prior to recruitment. I still have no idea how a week of parties in October is going to help her GPA! Asking an 18 year old social butterfly to lay low is like asking a cat to stay off the furniture.

I'm going to sit her down and make her read all your comments! Now if only you ladies can come visit where we can all sit down and ya'll can advise me on all my problems! LOL

Sorority alumnae arranged for her to go on the trips and to parties where underage drinking is expected and almost required according to your daughter? Alumnae ladies here, is that something that would be ok because it sounds very risky to me?

I seriously can't imagine my daddy and momma being ok with one of us kids traveling far away to meet complete strangers who are college aged especially guys to drink especially when she is still in high school.

[Titchou]

Originally Posted by Old_Row

Sorority alumnae arranged for her to go on the trips and to parties where underage drinking is expected and almost required according to your daughter? Alumnae ladies here, is that something that would be ok because it sounds very risky to me?

I seriously can't imagine my daddy and momma being ok with one of us kids traveling far away to meet complete strangers who are college aged especially guys to drink especially when she is still in high school.

Amen!

[AnchorAlumna]

Had a friend from down the street whose sorority had invited her daughter to come stay in a member's apartment during freshman orientation.
Yes, these were her sorority sisters but she did not personally know them.

She asked me what I thought...of course my mind is racing forward to the parties that just naturally seem to ensue when young people are finished for the day and are ready to be entertained with refreshments and general jolly good times.

I blanched...said no way would I send my precious special snowflake to them, even if they were sisters.

She had no problem and sent 'flake off to have a real good time.

(And thus I was personally introduced to the world of dirty rushing.)

[HQWest]

Under my campus guidelines - staying with someone during orientation like this is no longer allowed.

[Hearttoheart]

Let me rephrase: When they told her they expected her to drink they were basically saying "we know your underage, but we don't expect you to be perfect and all goodie-goodie. We certainly weren't. Sororities will look the other way as long as you keep it classy and not sloppy." At no time was she told that if she didn't drink that she would be cut!!!!

Alumnae were certainly not advising her to drink! And she was sent off with strict advice from mom to behave herself. Daughter decided to participate all on her own, thinking "When in Rome..."

I just didn't realize that being seen drinking is reason enough to cut her from recruitment. Back to my original question, is drinking and socializing helpful or harmful for a successful recruitment. You ladies have answered my questions enough that I am now worried for my daughter!

[WCsweet<3]

Originally Posted by Hearttoheart

I just didn't realize that being seen drinking is reason enough to cut her from recruitment. Back to my original question, is drinking and socializing helpful or harmful for a successful recruitment. You ladies have answered my questions enough that I am now worried for my daughter!

The problem is that the interpretation can vary from active to active. What one can see as a little drinking and socializing, another can decide that she is an put of control party girl. A lot of recruitment is based on quick decisions about a PNM. This can be really difficult when alcohol is involved because it impares both sides and decision making. Not to mention boy drama.

What's done is done and that won't change. As for fall... That's a tough call. Recruitment begins a month after school starts. It's hard to say don't go out and party because, well, she's a freshman in college and that's how a lot of roommate/bonding happens. It is often part of the college experience. On the other hand, it's only a month and its not like there aren't other things to do for fun. There are members in every org who dont go out and drink. I'd be tempted to play it safe and not go out to party. I'd get involved on campus right away and make an impression/socialize that way instead of risk being seen as a party girl or flirt with someone's boyfriend.

[WCsweet<3]

Originally Posted by Old_Row

Sorority alumnae arranged for her to go on the trips and to parties where underage drinking is expected and almost required according to your daughter? Alumnae ladies here, is that something that would be ok because it sounds very risky to me?

I'm only a few years out of college and there is a snowballs chance in Hell that I would ever do this. I'm all for PNMs meeting sorority members in a more relaxed setting, but sending a PNM away for a party weekend with strangers wouldn't be okay out here.