"I'm rushing 'for' a certain chapter"

[carnation]

I've seen dozens of recruitment brochures and websites over the years that seemed to suggest that the PNM was in the driver's seat, that she would be doing the choosing. Some of these were even from highly competitive schools!

A lot of PNMs buy into this and are horribly shocked when they get first returns. I don't understand why anyone would advertise her choices, though, whether she was basically clueless about rush or very sophisticated. I have to wonder if some of these girl hope that their choices' members will see their posts and be flattered.

[Sciencewoman]

Originally Posted by angels&angles

To be fair, the only girls I really judge are the ones who come HERE and talk about which chapters they want, because those girls literally have the answers at their fingertips and ignore everything.

However, my freshman year, I fell in love with a group of girls who were rushing me hardcore and then told everyone I knew that I "wanted to be an XYZ." Stupid. Stupid, stupid, stupid. My second night of rush, everyone but XYZ dropped me. (What did I think was going to happen? [Obviously, I thought everyone was going to looooooooove me and I would get to choose which group I wanted to join]). It worked out in the end, as I joined XYZ. It was my dream chapter, even though it was lowest on the totem pole at the time, and I loved every minute of it.

But I was so, so, so clueless.

I don't think my daughter was quite this overt, but I absolutely think the "word was out" on her and Pi Phi.

Also, A LOT of fraternity guys were fishing for information in December and via FB over break. There was a lot of "so, which chapter do you like best?" and "I heard that XYZ and DEF really like you. What's your favorite?" I told my daughter, probably too late, to evade these questions, because this appeared to be serious fishing in the guise of casual conversation. I had every reason to believe this info was going right back to their sorority friends.

Originally Posted by carnation

I've seen dozens of recruitment brochures and websites over the years that seemed to suggest that the PNM was in the driver's seat, that she would be doing the choosing. Some of these were even from highly competitive schools!

A lot of PNMs buy into this and are horribly shocked when they get first returns. I don't understand why anyone would advertise her choices, though, whether she was basically clueless about rush or very sophisticated. I have to wonder if some of these girl hope that their choices' members will see their posts and be flattered.

I agree...I think those brochures are trying to downplay the "exclusivity" reputation that goes along with recruitment. In many cases, that's false advertising.

[FSUZeta]

Originally Posted by Sciencewoman

I agree...I think those brochures are trying to downplay the "exclusivity" reputation that goes along with recruitment. In many cases, that's false advertising.

Same as "it is the sorority's job to find a recommendation for you." In the real world, that rarely happens.

[carnation]

OMG! I am currently trying (maybe fruitlessly) to convince some UGa PNMs that no matter what the website says, they HAVE to get recs! Their non-Greek moms keep parroting, "But the Panhellenic site says you don't have to..."

[HQWest]

Originally Posted by carnation

OMG! I am currently trying (maybe fruitlessly) to convince some UGa PNMs that no matter what the website says, they HAVE to get recs! Their non-Greek moms keep parroting, "But the Panhellenic site says you don't have to..."

Now, now - sure, they don't have to have recs, they only have to have recs for chapters they might want to join (or that mom wants them to join.)

(maybe mom doesn't think they are up to recruitment....)

[greekdee]

Originally Posted by carnation

OMG! I am currently trying (maybe fruitlessly) to convince some UGa PNMs that no matter what the website says, they HAVE to get recs! Their non-Greek moms keep parroting, "But the Panhellenic site says you don't have to..."

I had that come up last year with some Alabama PNMs. The statement that it's the sorority's responsibility to find recs was posted near the top of the websites's info section...I think some stopped reading right there, believing they had nothing to worry about. This year, it says in the first few paragraphs that it's not the PNMs responsibility to find the official rec forms alumnae use. The other comment about sororities securing recs is still in there, but tucked in much further down.

[Hartofsec]

Originally Posted by greekdee

I had that come up last year with some Alabama PNMs. The statement that it's the sorority's responsibility to find recs was posted near the top of the websites's info section...I think some stopped reading right there, believing they had nothing to worry about. This year, it says in the first few paragraphs that it's not the PNMs responsibility to find the official rec forms alumnae use. The other comment about sororities securing recs is still in there, but tucked in much further down.

I was typing a post about that very info too. And check the instruction at the end of the page.

From the lengthy page devoted to “Letters of Recommendation” on the Bama Panhellenic site:

http://uapanhellenic.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=15&It emid=32

First sentence on page:

Recommendations/References are not required to participate in Formal Recruitment at The University of Alabama, but they are a helpul tool in introducing the potential new member to the sorority.

Also:

Please note that while potential members can seek out letters of rec; it is ultimately not the responsibility of the potential member to obtain a copy of the Recommendation/Reference Form for the alumna or collegian.

Last (next to last) sentences on page:

*Potential New Members are encouraged to obtain Recommendations/References for all the Panhellenic sororities, however in some instances this is not possible. If a Recommendation/Reference is not obtained, the PNM may send her resume, transcript and headshot photograph to the chapter PO box.

Little wonder that there is still confusion where recs are concerned (at Bama anyway) – especially among moms who are not Greek and using this “official” source of information.

***I've never noticed the "send in your own" suggestion before. Perhaps it has been there in the past, but I never noticed it. And I don't know of any PNMs who have done that.

.

[carnation]

You are kidding. Send in your own? Now who on earth is going to accept that?

[greekdee]

Little wonder that there is still confusion where recs are concerned (at Bama anyway) – especially among moms who are not Greek and using this “official” source of information.

Amen, I completely see why there is confusion. Parents who attended the Preview Weekend seem to have a much better understanding of what is needed, but some who didn't rely a lot on what they read at the website, and some trust it more than they do a few alums telling them differently. On another note, I had a UGA mom tell me she heard recs were "being phased out" and not a big deal anymore. Wow, wonder what UGA she is talking about? Not the one in Athens, Georgia.

[DGTess]

Originally Posted by SydneyK

Little wonder that there is still confusion where recs are concerned (at Bama anyway) – especially among moms who are not Greek and using this “official” source of information.

***I've never noticed the "send in your own" suggestion before. Perhaps it has been there in the past, but I never noticed it. And I don't know of any PNMs who have done that.

.

Or among moms who were Greek, but at a noncompetitive school. (I'm so glad my daughter chose not to rush; I knew NOTHING about Texas and would have given her very very bad information. Even though I belonged to an alumnae group, this was not something we ever discussed.)

For all the people who get told "contact your Greek Life office; a bunch of strangers on the internet don't know" (not only this site, mind you), we shouldn't be surprised that there is confusion among those who weren't raised with the SEC-sorority mindset.

[adpiucf]

Originally Posted by carnation

OMG! I am currently trying (maybe fruitlessly) to convince some UGa PNMs that no matter what the website says, they HAVE to get recs! Their non-Greek moms keep parroting, "But the Panhellenic site says you don't have to..."

"Don't listen to your non-Greek mother on this one."

[angels&angles]

Originally Posted by Sciencewoman

I told my daughter, probably too late, to evade these questions, because this appeared to be serious fishing in the guise of casual conversation. I had every reason to believe this info was going right back to their sorority friends.

You would be correct.