Is it normal to regret which sorority you joined?

[adpiucf]

You DO have a support system of family and friends. Again, sorority sisters and house mates are not instant best friends. They're members in the same organization as you are. It takes a lot of time to cultivate relationships. You are resentful of these women, and it seems like they don't care for you either. No one owes you friendship, but you all owe one another respect. You're not respecting them and they aren't respecting you, and if you genuinely want them to care about you then you need to step it up and show them some respect and friendship to get things started. What you have done is not enough. And it doesn't seem like you have an interest in being the bigger person. So, cut your losses and cancel your membership at the end of the semester. You're living in the house, so you're stuck there until your lease ends or you pay to break it (which is foolish, seeing as the semester is 1/2-way over). At the very least, you could petition in the fall for inactivity due to medical reasons if your sorority allows it.

This message board is populated by Greeks who live and die by their organizations. When the going gets tough, we step it up in our chapters, knowing problems aren't solved overnight and we are both part of the problem and the solution. We're naturally inclined to tell people to stick it out for the good of the organization because that is what we would do. Your circumstances are very unique, and I don't think Greek Life is right for you at this point. It takes a lot of effort and energy to turn a chapter around, and your priority needs to be getting yourself better right now.

Your dismissive "if you don't like what I am saying, then leave" comment is not appreciated. You came on this board seeking advice. I'm sorry that you don't like the advice given. But what did you expect? We love Greek Life. That's why this is Greek Chat. I truly wish you the best, but stop blaming your sorority for your unhappiness. Just leave the sorority. You will still feel upset and angry, but at least you can channel the anger away from the sorority and work on your own problems. Leave them to work on theirs as an organization.

Yes, it is normal to feel buyers' remorse. And every sorority and every sorority member goes through issues where people feel the membership is being disrespectful or incohesive at some point. That's what happens in any large group, Greek or not. It's human nature and group dynamics. But what you are experiencing goes beyond that and has less to do with the sorority and more to do with that unfortunate chain of events you've experienced. So go work on yourself and leave the sorority to work on itself.

[AOII Angel]

Originally Posted by adpiucf

You DO have a support system of family and friends. Again, sorority sisters and house mates are not instant best friends. They're members in the same organization as you are. It takes a lot of time to cultivate relationships. You are resentful of these women, and it seems like they don't care for you either. No one owes you friendship, but you all owe one another respect. You're not respecting them and they aren't respecting you, and if you genuinely want them to care about you then you need to step it up and show them some respect and friendship to get things started. What you have done is not enough. And it doesn't seem like you have an interest in being the bigger person. So, cut your losses and cancel your membership at the end of the semester. You're living in the house, so you're stuck there until your lease ends or you pay to break it (which is foolish, seeing as the semester is 1/2-way over). At the very least, you could petition in the fall for inactivity due to medical reasons if your sorority allows it.

This message board is populated by Greeks who live and die by their organizations. When the going gets tough, we step it up in our chapters, knowing problems aren't solved overnight and we are both part of the problem and the solution. We're naturally inclined to tell people to stick it out for the good of the organization because that is what we would do. Your circumstances are very unique, and I don't think Greek Life is right for you at this point. It takes a lot of effort and energy to turn a chapter around, and your priority needs to be getting yourself better right now.

Your dismissive "if you don't like what I am saying, then leave" comment is not appreciated. You came on this board seeking advice. I'm sorry that you don't like the advice given. But what did you expect? We love Greek Life. That's why this is Greek Chat. I truly wish you the best, but stop blaming your sorority for your unhappiness. Just leave the sorority. You will still feel upset and angry, but at least you can channel the anger away from the sorority and work on your own problems. Leave them to work on theirs as an organization.

Yes, it is normal to feel buyers' remorse. And every sorority and every sorority member goes through issues where people feel the membership is being disrespectful or incohesive at some point. That's what happens in any large group, Greek or not. It's human nature and group dynamics. But what you are experiencing goes beyond that and has less to do with the sorority and more to do with that unfortunate chain of events you've experienced. So go work on yourself and leave the sorority to work on itself.

Excellent post. A lot of water has flowed under this bridge, and we aren't privy to both sides of this story to assess what is going on in your chapter. If everything is EXACTLY as you describe (which it never is when the other side of the story comes into play) this chapter has sisterhood issues and needs guidance, but they are still people that may have issues just like you. You haven't interacted meaningfully with them in anyway to know why the chapter's sisterhood may be lacking. Sisterhood means being there in the good times and the bad INCLUDING when people aren't getting along. It happens to real sisters. You have to work at relationships. I agree with adpiucf. This isn't your struggle. Leave the chapter to deal with their sisterhood issues, and you worry about yourself. Stop blaming everyone else for your unhappiness and focus on how YOU can make yourself happy.