Rushing a second time?

[FSUZeta]

Quoted from Tapuz: "As I later found out, my favorite Rho was actually a member of my top sorority, and she expressed her deepest regrets, admitting that she thought I was the perfect fit for her sorority".

quoted from ASTalumna06:"The Rho Gammas told you to rush again in the fall: Keep in mind, they probably say this to every girl who didn't receive a bid. And while that may have been how some sisters got into sororities in the fall, that doesn't mean they were invited to their top choice, and that doesn't mean that some of the girls who were told to rush again ended up bidless once more.

You messaged the presidents, and they responded by telling you to rush again in the fall: Read above. Also, since you messaged them (and possibly never met them during recruitment), they might not even remember/know who you are. Or maybe they do, and they're just trying to be nice. I mean, what response would you expect? "No, you shouldn't come back out for recruitment. You'll never get a bid." That's not likely to happen.. anywhere."


I also wanted to emphasize these quotes. It would be a very cruel person who would tell someone "No, you should not rush again. It will be a waste of your time. You won't get a bid." Nor would a Rho Gamma say,"You are really not Gamma Gamma Gamma material-that is why my sisters dropped you before prefs." That too would be cruel. Those were kind responses to soothe the disappointment you experienced when the only choice in your eyes did not invite you back. I point this out not to be mean, but to help you see that you are still looking at this experience with rose colored glasses, i.e., you are hearing only what you want to hear. I don't want to make you paranoid, or feel bad, but I do hope that you can assess the situation more realistically in a few weeks.

I hope that you will give fall rush a try, if you can truly go in with the attitude that you could be happy in any of the chapters (because with the right attitude, you can!). Heed the advice that the other GC'ers have given you.

[tapuz]

Originally Posted by FSUZeta

Nor would a Rho Gamma say,"You are really not Gamma Gamma Gamma material-that is why my sisters dropped you before prefs." That too would be cruel. Those were kind responses to soothe the disappointment you experienced when the only choice in your eyes did not invite you back. I point this out not to be mean, but to help you see that you are still looking at this experience with rose colored glasses, i.e., you are hearing only what you want to hear.

My Rho started tearing up as I was talking to her about my disappointment...and she even texted me about it the next morning.

[DeltaBetaBaby]

Originally Posted by tapuz

I was invited to their pref nights, that should mean something? I don't know if I would have received a bid because I dropped out but I think I could have.

The fact that they would have offered you a bid during FR does not mean anything in the fall. They may not even have open spaces in the fall. Yes, they like you reasonably well, and you should get to know them better, but we keep explaining to you that the system doesn't not mean that everyone gets a bit wherever she wants.

Originally Posted by tapuz

I guess it's the second one, I was probably a little too sure of myself, and I'm beginning to realize that now.

Look, you just suffered a major disappointment. Take some time away from it, and come back when you can be a little more rational. It's okay. It happens to all of us.

Originally Posted by tapuz

My Rho started tearing up as I was talking to her about my disappointment...and she even texted me about it the next morning.

That's her job. She's a Rho.

[FSUZeta]

Originally Posted by tapuz

My Rho started tearing up as I was talking to her about my disappointment...and she even texted me about it the next morning.

I am sure that she was genuinely feeling bad for you. When I was a rush counselor one of the girls in my group asked to speak to me privately. She and her HS best friend were roommates and had promised each other that they would only pledge the same sorority. As rush progressed, they found themselves being drawn to different sororities. She was so upset and crying so hard that she could hardly catch her breath because she really, really liked her favorite and her best friend did not. I started tearing up myself, because she was a sweet girl that i had come to like and I hated that she was so upset. I had no vested interest in her decision, because my sorority was no longer in the running with either girl. I just wanted to help and make her feel better and I guess I did. She ended up pledging her first choice, and her bff pledged her own first choice, and as far as I know they were both very happy in their decisions.

[carnation]

Now I have to know if the 2 pledged their favorites!

[adpiucf]

Also, a recruitment counselor is disaffiliated and has nothing to do with her sorority's recruitment decisions during that period.

When I was a recruitment counselor, I grew very close to "my girls." I was devastated if any of them didn't receive a bid and would have loved for them to have been part of a sorority. I absolutely encouraged them to try again, but it wasn't because I thought they would get a bid from my group and I had no say in that matter. I said it because I had come to regard them as friends in that short week during recruitment, I was sad that they were sad, and I believed that they would be an asset to a sorority based on their interest and personalities.