Need advice for fitting into chapter

[FirePaint]

It's just a free-for-all when people eat. Because of the limited space in the fridge, I actually don't have a lot of food at the house, so I usually go to the student center to eat, and I usually go by myself.

We do, but I haven't heard of any sisterhoods in a while (I know it's the end of the semester, but I can't even remember the last sisterhood we had). The sisterhoods I have gone to though have been pretty fun, depending more or less on what activity we did.

And I understand everyone not wanting to give advice that conflicts with a professional's, but I'm not getting any advice from her. During the entire session, I just talk, she listens, and it's over.

[thetalady]

Originally Posted by FirePaint

It's just a free-for-all when people eat. Because of the limited space in the fridge, I actually don't have a lot of food at the house, so I usually go to the student center to eat, and I usually go by myself.

We do, but I haven't heard of any sisterhoods in a while (I know it's the end of the semester, but I can't even remember the last sisterhood we had). The sisterhoods I have gone to though have been pretty fun, depending more or less on what activity we did.

And I understand everyone not wanting to give advice that conflicts with a professional's, but I'm not getting any advice from her. During the entire session, I just talk, she listens, and it's over.

I am afraid that your sirtuation is really beyond the ability of most of us to help with. I am sorry, but we don't want to make anything worse.

It does sound like to me you need to find another counselor. Just like we don't all click with everyone we meet, you will find counselors that you work better with than others. Find another counselor. Make the effort. You are worth it. Stick up for yourself and ASK for help from someone else.

Your first semester away at college is VERY tough. Yes, we know you are really homesick & miss your fiance. If you continue to go home every weekend, you will probably end up leaving both your sorority and college. Time to do some soul searching and figure out what is important to you & then do it. Good luck.

[DeltaBetaBaby]

Originally Posted by thetalady

It does sound like to me you need to find another counselor. Just like we don't all click with everyone we meet, you will find counselors that you work better with than others. Find another counselor. Make the effort. You are worth it. Stick up for yourself and ASK for help from someone else.

I agree 100% that some counselors aren't a good fit for some clients AND that there are tons of counselors out there who just suck, but I would first speak up and tell your existing counselor your concerns, if you can. She may say "this is my style, I can help you find someone who is a better fit", or she may say "okay, I can adjust to what you are saying you need", or she may say "I think this is what you need right now", or whatever, but bring it up with her first.

[honeychile]

I'm going to let you in on a little secret: there is no such thing as a natural extrovert. There are people who have learned how to be social, but they have ways to get up their nerve prior to doing so.

So, let's say that you have a night when you're fairly up to date on your studies. Stand up on that upper floor, and walk down to the main floor. Ask what your sisters are watching on tv. If you have a coke machine, get yourself one, but first ask the crowd, "I'm going for a coke - does anyone else want one?" Relax and watch the show!

One thing we did when we had sisters who weren't very social was to set up a table, and put a couple jigsaw puzzles on it. Sometimes, someone would start one, and people going by couldn't resist placing a piece or two. And before you think it's really dumb, ask why there's so much popularity on Facebook for the hearts game - it's because of the puzzle!

These are just a couple of ideas, but there are thousands. Remember recruitment, how much you wanted to join a sorority, and go into Recruitment Mode.

You have been through some very serious challenges, but I promise you that life will become easier once you realize that you CAN do this, you ARE a survivor! As for the jerk who used you, HE'S the one who should be worried, as what he did is a criminal act. Don't let him demean you - he's only a statement away from being in the criminal justice system!

Please feel free to post here, in any forum. We all want to see things work out for you, and wish you the best!

[Sciencewoman]

Originally Posted by honeychile

I'm going to let you in on a little secret: there is no such thing as a natural extrovert.

You haven't met my mother! I used to cringe when she'd wave at other drivers. I'd say, "Who's that?" and she'd say, "It looked like so-and-so." And I'd say, "No, it wasn't." Her response: "Well, it might have been, and it never hurts to be friendly!!!" My sister admits to asking herself, "What would mom do?" when she's in a new social situation.

I agree with you, though -- most people experience varying levels of awkwardness when getting to know new people.