fitting in?

birachel19 · #1 03-06-2011, 07:10 PM

I'm currently a freshman at USC. I'm a pi phi as well.

I think I like where I'm at right now in life, but I am having a hard time really connecting with a lot of the girls in my house. I like being a pi phi, but there are some things that I just don't get. I want to be involved. I want to be a good sister, but I don't think like I should, or I guess, who I am "supposed" to think, about drinking, and guys, and girls.

any suggestions about how I can fit in more with my sisters?

kddani · #2 03-06-2011, 08:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by birachel19

I'm currently a freshman at USC. I'm a pi phi as well.

I think I like where I'm at right now in life, but I am having a hard time really connecting with a lot of the girls in my house. I like being a pi phi, but there are some things that I just don't get. I want to be involved. I want to be a good sister, but I don't think like I should, or I guess, who I am "supposed" to think, about drinking, and guys, and girls.

any suggestions about how I can fit in more with my sisters?

QFP

Perhaps you should talk to them?
Considering all of the identifying information you've put out there in just this post (let alone your other 4 posts which I haven't read), it won't be too long until everyone else in your chapter knows about this post.

33girl · #3 03-06-2011, 08:07 PM

How do you feel you're "supposed" to think that you aren't thinking? Are you questioning your sexuality? (That's kind of what it sounds like.)

Psi U MC Vito · #4 03-06-2011, 11:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 33girl

How do you feel you're "supposed" to think that you aren't thinking? Are you questioning your sexuality? (That's kind of what it sounds like.)

Sounds like it. Especially if you take her handle into account.

ellebud · #5 03-06-2011, 10:57 PM

I don't think that is what she meant. OP, pm me if you want to talk. And please, don't forget, you can talk with your parents. Trust me, they are your best friends.

DrPhil · #6 03-06-2011, 11:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ellebud

I don't think that is what she meant.

Maybe, maybe not. The OP may not even know what she meant. She's at the age where she is uncertain about herself and at the crossroads between being a kid and being an adult. That's why college students are often called "college kids."

Quote:

Originally Posted by ellebud

And please, don't forget, you can talk with your parents. Trust me, they are your best friends.

You don't know whether her parents are her bestfriends. Not everyone's parents are their bestfriends. For many people, their parents are their parents. They may talk to their parents about many things but it isn't within the context of bestfriend.

ellebud · #7 03-07-2011, 12:23 AM

Dr Phil:

As a mom of a college kid I agree that there are some parents who aren't their kids best friends. But many parents are in fact willing and able to listen. In fact, many kids in college are rebounding from the angst of adolescence as are the parents. But assuming all parties are semi rational...sorry...going to people who have (presumably) known you all you life is a good and intelligent thing. You don't have to take advice (if any is asked for or given). But using an adult as a sounding board can be a very good and mature thing to do.

Drolefille · #8 03-07-2011, 12:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ellebud

Dr Phil:

As a mom of a college kid I agree that there are some parents who aren't their kids best friends. But many parents are in fact willing and able to listen. In fact, many kids in college are rebounding from the angst of adolescence as are the parents. But assuming all parties are semi rational...sorry...going to people who have (presumably) known you all you life is a good and intelligent thing. You don't have to take advice (if any is asked for or given). But using an adult as a sounding board can be a very good and mature thing to do.

I think the point here is to talk to an adult you can trust, whether that's your parents, a teacher or professor, or the counseling center at your school. If someone has good reason not to seek out their parents, so be it. But the advice you're going to get from a message board is not going to be nearly so helpful.

DrPhil · #9 03-07-2011, 01:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ellebud

Dr Phil:

As a mom of a college kid I agree that there are some parents who aren't their kids best friends.

Yes and being a best friend requires reciprocity. Many parents think they are their, now legal adult, children's best friends but I firmly believe that most offspring don't feel as though their parents are their best friends. They love their parents, many consider their parents their heros, and they like to talk to their parents about things but not because of the best friend dynamic. One reason being that the best friend dynamic is not a requirement for a loving and functional parent-child relationship.

This subtopic just stood out to me because you typed the original statement so definitively.

birachel19 · #10 03-07-2011, 04:39 PM

I have a few good friends in the house, but again, on the whole, I just don't feel like I am fitting in that well.

I want to get more involved in the house to see if immersing myself will bring me closer to a lot of my sisters...

My parents and I have never had a good relationship. Would it be worth it to try and talk to the greek advisor?

DrPhil · #11 03-07-2011, 04:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by birachel19

I have a few good friends in the house, but again, on the whole, I just don't feel like I am fitting in that well.

I want to get more involved in the house to see if immersing myself will bring me closer to a lot of my sisters...

My parents and I have never had a good relationship. Would it be worth it to try and talk to the greek advisor?

I'm not in an NPC sorority but I think the bold is a good start. Put in the effort and then see whether you need to speak with someone.