New!

[aquababy]

I just wanted to thank you all for taking the time to read my disorganized, emotional rant, and to formulate responses.

A couple things to note - Greek life at my school is rather small & not very competitive (of about 300 girls who went through recruitment this year, about 225 - 250 got bids, and most who didn't get bids didn't maximize their options on their ranking cards). There were also lots of sophomores and even a few third-years who went through & got bids. Also, my chapter was colonized very recently, 2010, & one of my good friends who ended up in a different sorority than me said that girls in her chapter say that there are two very distinct types of girls in my chapter, & I may just be one & not at all the other.

I have been trying to get to know the girls in my sorority, going on lunch dates, coffee dates, dinner dates, etc., and I guess why I'm worried is there are a bunch of girls I realllllly don't like. I'm also not at that totally-in-love-with-my-sorority stage yet, while there are other new members and new members of other sororities on campus who seem to absolutely love it, including one of my good friends. I don't know if getting to that point usually takes a while, or is partly brainwash(haha), or what, but I'm worried I will never get there. To me, it doesn't seem worth it to be in a sorority if I don't really love it or feel something close to disdain for some of my potential sisters.

However, at the same time I really want to try my best to make it work & be happy here, since everyone (at least at my school) says that everyone ends up where they're supposed to be. Any advice on how to get over the other sorority I went to on pref night would be most appreciated; I feel like if I could do that, I'd be fine, but its very hard to stop thinking about it that way once I've started. It's always in the back of my mind, even when I'm kind of enjoying myself with girls from my sorority.

[AOII Angel]

Originally Posted by aquababy

I just wanted to thank you all for taking the time to read my disorganized, emotional rant, and to formulate responses.

A couple things to note - Greek life at my school is rather small & not very competitive (of about 300 girls who went through recruitment this year, about 225 - 250 got bids, and most who didn't get bids didn't maximize their options on their ranking cards). There were also lots of sophomores and even a few third-years who went through & got bids. Also, my chapter was colonized very recently, 2010, & one of my good friends who ended up in a different sorority than me said that girls in her chapter say that there are two very distinct types of girls in my chapter, & I may just be one & not at all the other.

I have been trying to get to know the girls in my sorority, going on lunch dates, coffee dates, dinner dates, etc., and I guess why I'm worried is there are a bunch of girls I realllllly don't like. I'm also not at that totally-in-love-with-my-sorority stage yet, while there are other new members and new members of other sororities on campus who seem to absolutely love it, including one of my good friends. I don't know if getting to that point usually takes a while, or is partly brainwash(haha), or what, but I'm worried I will never get there. To me, it doesn't seem worth it to be in a sorority if I don't really love it or feel something close to disdain for some of my potential sisters.

However, at the same time I really want to try my best to make it work & be happy here, since everyone (at least at my school) says that everyone ends up where they're supposed to be. Any advice on how to get over the other sorority I went to on pref night would be most appreciated; I feel like if I could do that, I'd be fine, but its very hard to stop thinking about it that way once I've started. It's always in the back of my mind, even when I'm kind of enjoying myself with girls from my sorority.

The "everyone ends up where they are supposed to be" line doesn't mean you feel it on day one...or at week 3. Do you have a Big yet? You need to stop asking your friend from another sorority for her opinion. She's not in your chapter and doesn't know what is going on. You know the phrase "The grass is always greener on the other side"? This is a perfect example. You don't have a group of friends outside of your sorority either. Doesn't sound like you make friends very quickly. That's okay. Don't push it so hard. Being friends in a sorority isn't any quicker than being friends outside a sorority. The fact that you don't "like" some of you sisters is normal. You wouldn't like some of the girls in the other group, too. You can't get a large group of girls together and like everyone. I had a pledge class of 28 and didn't like half of them for the whole 4 years. Guess what? I roomed with two of them when I went to med school and found out I was totally wrong about them. Your first impressions can be incorrect. (And they can color your impressions for years.) Stop thinking about the other preference party. Stop. It doesn't mean you should have picked that group, it just means that you are having a hard time and you think that it would be easier over there. It wouldn't be. You'd still have to work at making friends. You always have to work at making friends no matter what group you join. It's just easier for some people than for others. They just make it look effortless so you think it happens without any work. Like someone said in your other thread, you are bound for a year. You have already paid your dues. Hang out until initiation. If you don't feel it, don't get initiated. Until that time, give it your best shot, but that means forgetting the other group, not lamenting with your friends from other sororities, not judging your new sisters as vapid and really trying to get to know them beneath that layer of superficiality. You saw something in them at Pref. It is there, and you owe it to yourself to find out if you really belong there.