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[aquababy]

Ouchhh ok, what happened to finding the sorority that's the best fit for you? cause i don't feel that it is.here's some details...It's been a couple weeks since bid day, and while I've met a few older sisters I really like, a good portion of them seem a bit valley girl-ish, if you know what I mean. I've made a few friends in my new member class too. I keep thinking about the other party I went to on pref night, which seems like a bad sign to me lol. they seemed like the most real girls - like i felt like i was just in a room with friends as opposed to in a sorority. the one i'm in now definitely doesn't feel like home - its not awful, its not great. just ehh. pref night kinda threw me - i liked the one i'm in now's ceremony so much better (i know, stupid) & the other one was more emotional than I usually am haha. but thats basically why i listed the one i'm in now as my first choice, but even as i was doing it i knew i should put the other one, but i figured if i got accepted then I would know that's where I'm supposed to be, but the fact that i'm still having doubts 3 weeks after bid day... but i'm a bit afraid to drop - what if i go through next year & turns out that was the right one. its not so much that they're too girly, though thats a small part of it; more the superficial/vapid-ness that i'm not a huge fan of. i'm able to talk to a handful of girls, but i'm not sure if its worth it to stay just for a few people. I've really given it a shot (3 weeks) but if I drop I have to do it soon because we have to order our pins by Nov. 2. The reason I hesitate to drop is because I am a freshman and I haven't made many friends; but if i had a solid group of friends, I would definitely drop. And one other thing - I feel the sorority i'm in now will change who I am, whereas the other one would enhance who i am, if that makes sense.

[thetalady]

Originally Posted by aquababy

Ouchhh ok, what happened to finding the sorority that's the best fit for you? cause i don't feel that it is.here's some details...It's been a couple weeks since bid day, and while I've met a few older sisters I really like, a good portion of them seem a bit valley girl-ish, if you know what I mean. I've made a few friends in my new member class too. I keep thinking about the other party I went to on pref night, which seems like a bad sign to me lol. they seemed like the most real girls - like i felt like i was just in a room with friends as opposed to in a sorority. the one i'm in now definitely doesn't feel like home - its not awful, its not great. just ehh. pref night kinda threw me - i liked the one i'm in now's ceremony so much better (i know, stupid) & the other one was more emotional than I usually am haha. but thats basically why i listed the one i'm in now as my first choice, but even as i was doing it i knew i should put the other one, but i figured if i got accepted then I would know that's where I'm supposed to be, but the fact that i'm still having doubts 3 weeks after bid day... but i'm a bit afraid to drop - what if i go through next year & turns out that was the right one. its not so much that they're too girly, though thats a small part of it; more the superficial/vapid-ness that i'm not a huge fan of. i'm able to talk to a handful of girls, but i'm not sure if its worth it to stay just for a few people. I've really given it a shot (3 weeks) but if I drop I have to do it soon because we have to order our pins by Nov. 2. The reason I hesitate to drop is because I am a freshman and I haven't made many friends; but if i had a solid group of friends, I would definitely drop. And one other thing - I feel the sorority i'm in now will change who I am, whereas the other one would enhance who i am, if that makes sense.

Sigh, it has been 3 weeks!! You are not going to be fast friends with a bunch of girls already.

Honestly, you probably need to put that other sorority out of your mind. You have no idea if you would get a bid from them next time around. On many, many campuses, it is extremely hard for a sophomore to get a bid, much less one that has already pledged and quit one organization.

Your decision right now should be "am I willing to be a full member of this sorority and fully commit or am I willing to risk not being in a sisterhood AT ALL."

THAT is your decision.... up to you.

[Old_Row]

You are having buyer's remorse. It's only been three weeks and trust me there are a lot of girls in every sorority, even the one you think is so perfect for you, having it now. How long did it take to become best friends with your friends back home? Probably longer than three weeks!

Here is some stuff I wrote for another Greek chat person feeling like you are: You shouldn't be depending on other people to help you get to know your sisters. You need to put yourself out there and make friends just like you would in the outside world. If you have a house, hang out there a lot even if it is to study or watch TV. If you don't have a house then figure out where your sisters like to hang out and go there. Approach some sisters you don't know after chapter and see if anyone wants to go out for coffee or froyo or whatever after. Sit next to sisters you don't know yet at every meeting and event and strike up a conversation. Look for your letters in your classes. You probably have sisters in them and don't even realize it. Seeing your letters is an instant conversation starter and then you'll have someone to sit next to in class and study and complain with! She can even introduce you to more sisters.

You need to stop thinking about the what ifs and the other sorority. That will crush your soul. Believe me when I tell you it's not perfect over there. Also understand that even if you had put them first on your bid card you still may have ended up where you are. Even though they may have been your first choice, it is very possible you were not that sorority's first choice. At a lot of schools, going through rush after you depledge your freshman year will not work out any better for you. It will be worse, as in not getting a bid at all worse. Be sure you will be ok with that if you decide to drop.