Going Early Alum... need help.

Originally Posted by fascination

I didn't understand why OP would be expected to personally apologize to every chapter on campus until I Googled the lyrics. Vulgar is not a strong enough word, so now I understand why. (Even if you cleaned the lyrics up some, obviously other people knew knew how nasty the regular lyrics are.) Just because "someone" told you to rap this doesn't mean you have to. You could have and should have said no. I'm sorry you had to learn this lesson the hard way.

Honestly, I thought nothing of it. No one else did either. The girls in my house (around 200 of us), the event coordinators, and my mother never thought to take out the lyrics because everyone knows what they are. Honestly, it's not the worst song I've ever heard. It's not like everyone didn't have it on their iPod or hadn't heard it 100 times on the radio, and it was a COLLEGE event. I'm pretty sure that all those people that are legal to VOTE can hear a few cuss words. No one complained to my chapter, no one said anything about it. The president didn't even go to the event, and saw a video of it a couple of days later and realized that no one had told me that things needed to be bleeped out. The sorority that had won the pageant the year before won with a similar rap song called 143 and the lyrics say "girl I don't even care if you a lesbian, that just means we got some common interests." So no one thought mine would be a problem.

As someone who was never told rules or guidelines, and seeing that song win the year before, I really didn't feel that I and only I needed to apologize to everyone by myself. I was COMPLETELY willing to write a letter WITH the house in order to apologize to everyone explaining my situation, and that I was given no direction, and then signing it from both the president and myself.

My mother still saw nothing wrong with the song, nor did any of my peers. The president felt she would get in trouble for not directing me or offering me the help that was supposed to be given so that something like that could be avoided, and didn't want to get in trouble. So she wanted me to take all the blame. She threatened me, insulted me, and then encouraged others to shut me out.

Do I wish that I'd said no to the pageant? Of course.
Do I wish that I'd thought about the song a little more? Sure. I still saw nothing wrong with it in comparison to the year before's, but maybe I should've just told them I wouldn't do that song.
Did I face consequences for it? More than were absolutely necessary, and turned to the point of harassment, and girls telling me to kill myself because I didn't just take the blame and disgraced myself.

Let me tell you something, when you are 18, away from home, joining a new sorority, scared out of your mind that the PRESIDENT is mad at you, and she tells you that she will "personally ruin your reputation in the house and on campus" and then FOLLOWING THROUGH on that threat is NOT what I deserved and should NEVER happen to ANYONE. It's more frightening than the move out of your parents house was, or the fact that you are trying to make new friends and someone with power makes sure you can't. It was the worst thing I've ever been through, and I will not be told that I "should have known better" because from what had been shown as acceptable in the past, and what I was told by girls that had been to this event for four years already told me that it was fine. I did my research. It all checked out.