Teen held captive more than 3 years

[MaryPoppins]

Originally Posted by DrPhil

However, there are people who would not only imply but explicitly state that they believe it is the victim's fault for not ending the kidnapping sooner.

And I have Judges that don't understand why my client victims-of-domestic-violence don't leave and press charges. You just never know how you'd behave in a given situation. The thought "Walk a mile in her/his shoes first," comes to mind. I'd like to think that I would have behaved like those brave folks on Flight 93 in a similar situation, but thankfully I do not know, and truly hope I never do.

[Kevin]

Originally Posted by MaryPoppins

And I have Judges that don't understand why my client victims-of-domestic-violence don't leave and press charges. You just never know how you'd behave in a given situation. The thought "Walk a mile in her/his shoes first," comes to mind. I'd like to think that I would have behaved like those brave folks on Flight 93 in a similar situation, but thankfully I do not know, and truly hope I never do.

Yep. It's an unwritten rule in my county that judges will not reinstate a victim's protection order (restraining order or whatever you call it in your states) if the victim goes back to the abuser EVER.

It's like they've never heard of battered woman's syndrome.

[AlphaFrog]

Originally Posted by shirley1929

I'm sure you don't mean it...but you sound like you're blaming the victim here and that angers and saddens me.

Of course getting kidnapped and raped is not the victim's fault.

I'm just really wondering what happened that she could go to a hospital and deliver a baby and not find some moment to give someone an inkling she needed help. Maybe there truly wasn't an opportunity.

[shirley1929]

Originally Posted by AlphaFrog

Of course getting kidnapped and raped is not the victim's fault.

I'm just really wondering what happened that she could go to a hospital and deliver a baby and not find some moment to give someone an inkling she needed help. Maybe there truly wasn't an opportunity.

Read my next post...fear of retaliation! Maybe there wasn't an opportunity or maybe she sat in a room full of police officers without her kidnapper and was fearful for her, her child's, or her family's life. It doesn't matter...just because opportunity may or may not have been there, it doesn't mean she would have taken it. And if she didn't take it, IT IS NOT HER FAULT. That's all I'm getting at...

[MaryPoppins]

Originally Posted by shirley1929

Read my next post...fear of retaliation! Maybe there wasn't an opportunity or maybe she sat in a room full of police officers without her kidnapper and was fearful for her, her child's, or her family's life. It doesn't matter...just because opportunity may or may not have been there, it doesn't mean she would have taken it. And if she didn't take it, IT IS NOT HER FAULT. That's all I'm getting at...

Also there is Stockholm Syndrome. The kidnapping victim's brain makes them some to identify with their kidnappers as a survival instinct. Happens to civilians who are captured and made war brides, etc.

[shirley1929]

Originally Posted by MaryPoppins

Also there is Stockholm Syndrome. The kidnapping victim's brain makes them some to identify with their kidnappers as a survival instinct. Happens to civilians who are captured and made war brides, etc.

Excellent point, and one that is hard for a logically-thinking brain (like those of us who it has never happened to) to understand completely.

[Senusret I]

So DrPhil is banned now?

SHAME SHAME SHAME

[MysticCat]

Originally Posted by Senusret I

So DrPhil is banned now?

SHAME SHAME SHAME

Yep, and no one has ever come up with an explanation of what was objectionable about your Wall of Shame threads.

SHAME SHAME SHAME

[Senusret I]

Originally Posted by MysticCat

Yep, and no one has ever come up with an explanation of what was objectionable about your Wall of Shame threads.

SHAME SHAME SHAME

This is really, really disappointing.

[christiangirl]

Originally Posted by shirley1929

And if she didn't take it, IT IS NOT HER FAULT. That's all I'm getting at...

AF already confirmed that is not what she was saying so I'm not sure why you're continuing to "get at" that point. All of us agree, it's not her fault. You don't need to keep driving it in when she's stated that she absolutely did not mean it the way it was perceived.

I miss DrPhil. Power trips are for the birds.

[shirley1929]

Originally Posted by AlphaFrog

Of course getting kidnapped and raped is not the victim's fault.

I'm just really wondering what happened that she could go to a hospital and deliver a baby and not find some moment to give someone an inkling she needed help. Maybe there truly wasn't an opportunity.

Originally Posted by shirley1929

Read my next post...fear of retaliation! Maybe there wasn't an opportunity or maybe she sat in a room full of police officers without her kidnapper and was fearful for her, her child's, or her family's life. It doesn't matter...just because opportunity may or may not have been there, it doesn't mean she would have taken it. And if she didn't take it, IT IS NOT HER FAULT. That's all I'm getting at...

Originally Posted by christiangirl

AF already confirmed that is not what she was saying so I'm not sure why you're continuing to "get at" that point. All of us agree, it's not her fault. You don't need to keep driving it in when she's stated that she absolutely did not mean it the way it was perceived.

AF confirmed that she agreed the kidnapping and rape were not her fault, however there are TWO issues that are not the victim's fault is what I was trying to say. AF is still is confused as to why she didn't speak up while in the hospital. Which, to some who don't know what she's trying to say, sounds like blaming the victim FOR NOT SPEAKING UP.

Originally Posted by christiangirl

I miss DrPhil.

Agreed. +1

[amIblue?]

Originally Posted by MysticCat

Yep, and no one has ever come up with an explanation of what was objectionable about your Wall of Shame threads.

SHAME SHAME SHAME

Kevin said we've gotten all the explanation we deserve and that we are welcome to post elsewhere.

[christiangirl]

Originally Posted by shirley1929

AF confirmed that she agreed the kidnapping and rape were not her fault, however there are TWO issues that are not the victim's fault is what I was trying to say. AF is still is confused as to why she didn't speak up while in the hospital. Which, to some who don't know what she's trying to say, sounds like blaming the victim FOR NOT SPEAKING UP.

I see. FWIW, I believe AF was asking an innocent question for her knowledge, not blaming the victim for not speaking up. I realize how it sounded but I guess I just cyber-know her well enough to know it was an innocent comment.

[shirley1929]

Originally Posted by christiangirl

I see. FWIW, I believe AF was asking an innocent question for her knowledge, not blaming the victim for not speaking up. I realize how it sounded but I guess I just cyber-know her well enough to know it was an innocent comment.

I get it (which is why I said every time that I was sure she didn't mean what she was saying), and I don't "know" anyone on the internet enough to assume that the rest of the world reading their post would know that the comment was innocent. There might be someone reading this the same way I did & I wanted to ensure clarity with such a sensitive subject for many people.