Big Sis Shows Obvious Favoritism

[Titchou]

Originally Posted by DubaiSis

It seems in the years since I was a collegian, the importance of bigs/little (pledge moms and daughters back in my day) has gotten a little silly. Their role, as I see it, is to guide you through the pledging/initiation process and to help you build connections in the sorority. Some will be weepy best friends for the next 60 years, but a lot are just not that important.

This!!! My big was this way...and that was fine. She did her job with me. I just wasn't that close to her. Even some people who were in the chapter with us now think that another member was my big because we were - and still are- so close. Even she thinks she was my big! Au contraire!

I just wouldn't worry about it. As long as you have good friends there among the other members, count your blessings!

[33girl]

Originally Posted by DubaiSis

It seems in the years since I was a collegian, the importance of bigs/little (pledge moms and daughters back in my day) has gotten a little silly. Their role, as I see it, is to guide you through the pledging/initiation process and to help you build connections in the sorority. Some will be weepy best friends for the next 60 years, but a lot are just not that important.

Ehh, a lot of this seems similar to things we went through 25 years ago and not over the top to me. It depends a great deal on chapter size and campus culture.

Originally Posted by jazing

Do you think there is a big difference between sorority bigs/littles and fraternity bigs/littles?

Yes, but I'm too pressed for time to explain it right now

[DeltaBetaBaby]

Originally Posted by Titchou

This!!! My big was this way...and that was fine. She did her job with me. I just wasn't that close to her. Even some people who were in the chapter with us now think that another member was my big because we were - and still are- so close. Even she thinks she was my big! Au contraire!

I just wouldn't worry about it. As long as you have good friends there among the other members, count your blessings!

My sophomore year, I took two littles. One was 19 (the bar age in Champaign), and the other wasn't. I'm not gonna lie, post-initiation, I spent more time with the older one because we could go out together. The other one was closer to her own pledge sisters than to me, and ended up on exec, and really did a lot more for our chapter. I would say that, overall, she got a lot more out of her sorority experience.

[NutBrnHair]

To me, the Big Sis / Little Sis deal is primarily to give the new member a mentor during her new member period (read: pledgship). If after that, they continue to be BFFs, then great. If not, no biggie. No two people are ever going to have an "equal" friendship with an individual. That's human nature.

[33girl]

Originally Posted by NutBrnHair

To me

As I stated, the importance of big/little depends a great deal on chapter size and campus culture. If no one at your chapter/campus cared that much about bigs or littles or the relationship lasting, that's fine for you and your chapter/campus, but don't try to make it sound like it's something stupid everyone should blow off.

At any rate, it seems like the OP's big failed even in what you consider a big to be for - she was never a mentor to begin with.

[OPhiAGinger]

My first little was a unique relationship. Her big sister had to withdraw from school unexpectedly just a week after Carla and her fellow pledges were pinned. The Pledge Educator decided she needed a new big and since there were two of us (me and a friend of mine from my own pledge class) who really wanted a little, we both got to be Carla's big. It was great! And as an added bonus, sharing a little made me grow closer to my co-big.