I'm gay, looking to join a southern fraternity... Help!

[Ghostwriter]

Originally Posted by MysticCat

Duke, UNC and Elon are not going to be quite like SEC schools. (And LOL at Duke being a southern school.)

I had to laugh at the "Duke being a southern school". Some of us refer to Duke as UNC at New Jersey.

None of these schools have a large number of huge in size Fraternities in the tradition of the SEC schools. Elon is pretty big for the total size of the student population but there are not a lot of Fraternities to choose from either at Elon or Duke.

I venture to guess that all Fraternities have gay members at some time or even at all times. Mine did and there were some in my Fraternity who did not like it at all and stated publicly they would have voted out the gay pledge if they had known.

In many cases this is just not something that is advertised or even admitted to by many Fraternities. I would take caution in how I approached the subject as, when you get right down to it, it is no ones business but your own. Even though we like to believe we are the "enlightened", predjudices are evident in many, if not most, of the organizations.

[MysticCat]

Originally Posted by Ghostwriter

I had to laugh at the "Duke being a southern school". Some of us refer to Duke as UNC at New Jersey.

We always said The University of Southern New Jersey at Durham, which I almost put in my earlier post.

[knight_shadow]

Originally Posted by MysticCat

We always said The University of Southern New Jersey at Durham, which I almost put in my earlier post.

Lol.

I love the "University of Texas at Norman" references during Texas/OU weekend. I'm glad other states are doing the same.

/my only contribution

[ufgrad86]

also I know that a couple of UCF (univ. central fla) fraternities have gay members in straight fraternities and they are well accepted

[knight_shadow]

Originally Posted by ufgrad86

also I know that a couple of UCF (univ. central fla) fraternities have gay members in straight fraternities and they are well accepted

I know what you're trying to say, but I don't think any of our GLOs are "straight fraternities" -- that is just the majority group.

[smithsorority]

Originally Posted by Ghostwriter

In many cases this is just not something that is advertised or even admitted to by many Fraternities. I would take caution in how I approached the subject as, when you get right down to it, it is no ones business but your own. Even though we like to believe we are the "enlightened", predjudices are evident in many, if not most, of the organizations.

I have to agree with this. Coming from a huge SEC school, you have to realize that these organization have been around for a LONG time, and are usually looking for a specific person. I mean just look at totalfratmove.com, and almost everything you read is about "slampeices" and hooking up with girls without knowing them. I'm not saying to not rush (believe it or not, there are many closet gays in fraternitys), but I would not suggest mentioning your sexuality during rush. I know that many people say that you should find a fraternity that accepts you as you are, but just know that you will come across people who are prejudice and will cut you for it. Im not saying its fair, but its the way the greek system works. Greek system tends to work as a dictatorship, not a democracy...

[knight_shadow]

Originally Posted by smithsorority

I have to agree with this. Coming from a huge SEC school, you have to realize that these organization have been around for a LONG time, and are usually looking for a specific person. I mean just look at totalfratmove.com, and almost everything you read is about "slampeices" and hooking up with girls without knowing them. I'm not saying to not rush (believe it or not, there are many closet gays in fraternitys), but I would not suggest mentioning your sexuality during rush. I know that many people say that you should find a fraternity that accepts you as you are, but just know that you will come across people who are prejudice and will cut you for it. Im not saying its fair, but its the way the greek system works. Greek system tends to work as a dictatorship, not a democracy...

Uh...you're not Greek...

Why are you giving advice (fraternity advice, at that)?

[smithsorority]

Originally Posted by knight_shadow

Uh...you're not Greek...

Why are you giving advice (fraternity advice, at that)?

That doesnt mean that I havent dated any fraternity boys or that every guy in my family was a member of one... I'm just giving my opinion from personal experience.

[knight_shadow]

Originally Posted by smithsorority

That doesnt mean that I havent dated any fraternity boys or that every guy in my family was a member of one... I'm just giving my opinion from personal experience.

Your family and friends' affiliations don't matter -- YOU'RE not Greek, so you shouldn't be giving advice.

There are plenty of places to give your opinion on this board. Threads about what GLOs are looking for and how GLOs operate are not those places.

[MysticCat]

Originally Posted by smithsorority

That doesnt mean that I havent dated any fraternity boys or that every guy in my family was a member of one... I'm just giving my opinion from personal experience.

What personal experience? If you'd dated doctors and every guy in your family was a doctor, you'd feel entitled to offer medical opinions too?

Bless your heart.

Originally Posted by smithsorority

I have to agree with this. Coming from a huge SEC school...

The OP said he's transferring to UNC, Duke or Elon. One of these isn't huge and none of these are SEC schools. Any of these three schools are going to be different, sometimes very different, in various ways from your "huge SEC school," including in ways that are relevant to the OP's question.

[alphatausc]

Originally Posted by MysticCat

What personal experience? If you'd dated doctors and every guy in your family was a doctor, you'd feel entitled to offer medical opinions too?

Bless your heart.

The OP said he's transferring to UNC, Duke or Elon. One of these isn't huge and none of these are SEC schools. Any of these three schools are going to be different, sometimes very different, in various ways from your "huge SEC school," including in ways that are relevant to the OP's question.

I'd have to disagree with you on UNC. UNC is pretty decent greek wise with as much tradition as any SEC school. I would actually venture to say that UNC greek life is very similar to an SEC school. Now for Duke and Elon, no probably not the case. As for the OP's question...I've got no expertise on your situation. But man oh man, I'd really wish you'd think long and hard about wanting to join a fraternity. Pledgeship is hard enough when you're straight.