Quote:
Originally Posted by Chratos
Incoming Wall of Text:
I am transferring to either Duke or UNC or Elon in the Fall next year and am planning on rushing. But I’m gay. I’m not flamboyant or stereotypical. I am not interested in any “historically” gay-friendly fraternities (if there is such a thing), because they would probably be too liberal for me. So I was just wondering how this will affect my chances for a bid? Now, it’s obviously not something I’m going to throw in peoples’ faces and constantly talk about, but when is it appropriate to tell? Should I keep it to myself, or should I be upfront about it right from the start? If I should tell, when should I, and what’s the best way to do it? If my gayness might discourage a fraternity from getting to know me, what could I do to make up for it? Would endowments help or would they be seen merely as economic arrogance? Or is it hopeless, and should I just not even waste my time, and instead apply to some university up north?
Basically, I need any and all advice you all can give me about entering the [southern] Greek system as a gay man.
Sorry for all the questions. Some of them might be stupid. I’ve never done this before, so I appreciate your understanding. Thanks in advance for any help, advice, or suggestions you might be able to give.
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1. Make sure you transfer somewhere where you'd be happy regardless of whether you go Greek or not. This applies to everyone, really. In other words, don't go to a Northern school solely because you think your chances of being Greek are better.
2. I agree that you don't want to be like, "Hi, I'm Chratos and I'm gay," right away when you get to rush parties, because you are so much more than your sexuality and you want chapters to see that before telling them. Because you are not "flamboyant" and because you're transferring, it might not come up in conversation, and brothers of the chapters might not figure it out. That said, I do think chapter members should know sometime before offering you a bid, that way you know that your orientation is not a problem. I'm sure you can gauge the right timing and way to casually mention it without making it seem like that is your defining characteristic. In other words, let them get to know you first, but do tell them.
3. I went to Maryland, and our chapters are very diverse. This applies to race, religion, socioeconomic status, and a
mong fraternities, sexual orientation.* Although we're below the Mason-Dixon line, I don't think we're very Southern, and Maryland is rather liberal, though the Greeks as a whole are a little more conservative than the rest of the student body.
4. I would tend to think of gifts to the chapters as economic arrogance, and trying to buy a bid, but I'm a yankee sorority woman, so perhaps Southern fraternity men will weigh in on that
Good luck to you!
*I knew several openly gay fraternity men during my time there (2003-2007), but I did notice a double standard in that I didn't know any openly gay sorority women, though I know some that came out after graduating. I don't know if this is more common everywhere, but I think it has to do with the [sad] fact that fraternities and sororities care about what the opposite sex GLOs on their campus think of them. In the eyes of sororities, bidding a gay man won't hurt a fraternity's "status", but fraternities don't want to mix with a chapter labeled as the "lesbian chapter". Just my theory.
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