My brothers wedding

[Splash]

Explain the situation to a competent consultant at David's Bridal before you relay any decision to your brother's future wife. She should be able to offer some input.

[DubaiSis]

Originally Posted by AOEforme

A suggestion you could make to your future SIL: hire babysitters for the evening.

We're doing this for our wedding, because my family has a good amount of young kids and we're having flower girls. We have two family friends who are in high school but not quite close enough to us to be invited to the wedding. They are excellent baby sitters so we're paying them $75 each (big money for a 15 year old) and for their hotel room.

We're letting our family know that we're providing sitting services for the duration of the reception, so they can bring the kids to the wedding (if they so choose) and drop them off in the room after dinner. This way the kids get to play with all their friends, swim in the pool (both girls are lifeguards), and everyone gets to enjoy the wedding. Also, we get an "adult only" feel without having to exclude family members.

This is an excellent compromise.

[MysticCat]

Originally Posted by DrPhil

You aren't arguing with anyone.

Well, you're just no fun today.

[IrishLake]

Ya'll are awesome, I'll just say that. But ya'll knew that anyway, you didn't need me to tell you.

For my extended family, both sides, weddings are a huge deal. They are large Irish-German drunk fests with lots of fun times had by all, including kids. And especially for us, weddings are a reason to get together and see everyone, including kids. First cousins and aunts and uncles are now scattered all over the state/country, and they have kids. Who knows when there will be another wedding (no other cousins are in serious relationships).

What AOEforme said has already been suggested by my saintly grandmother (showing early signs of dementia). My grandmother badly wants to see all of her grandchildren and great-grandchildren at this wedding. She doesn't get to see some of them very often, due to distance (usually just Christmas time), but a wedding (kids included) means everyone will come. The good thing about their reception venue is that it has a "children's room" on the lower level of the building. A room full of toys and a tv and DVD player. Another cousin had her reception at this very same place 5 years ago and they utilized the children's room to the fullest extent (a very nice, very pricey place). The only reason FSiL and my brother don't want kids is because my brothers best friend just got married in our hometown and the reception was at a local American Legion hall, and the kids were out of control. It really turned FSiL off to having kids at her wedding. However, my brother suggested they hire babysitters for all the kids.

My mother, who can be known as a bitch, is sharing the expense of the wedding with FSiLs parents. She is on the verge of throwing around "well if I'm paying for it..." I've told her to hold off, that's too much. If Brother and FSiL were paying for it themselves... well, I don't know. Is it within their rights to say "NO KIDS" if the people paying for everything say "we want kids?"

If it ends up being "no kids," then my kids won't be staying for the whole reception. Maybe dinner, and then maybe I can find a babysitter to take them to. I've not yet heard back from FSiL regarding my email suggestion (waiting for a fitting until the end of winter, calling DB every few weeks to see if the dress or color is being discontinued). Now I'm debating whether or not to wait until she gets back to me, or go ahead and call her now. OR.... just call my brother and get his opinion. He says he wants me in it, but if I suggest something else (doing a church reading, cookie table, etc).... he would probably be ok.

Now to go look at MCs link...

[DrPhil]

Originally Posted by IrishLake

Is it within their rights to say "NO KIDS" if the people paying for everything say "we want kids?"

That depends on who you ask.

That's also an example of when people may have to get over their preferences to make their families happy.

Originally Posted by IrishLake

Now to go look at MCs link...

He's a troublemaker.

[christiangirl]

Originally Posted by MysticCat

these children at a wedding from the BritCom "Outnumbered."

Hahahahaha why does that first little boy talk like a Potter Puppet Pal?

iVote for the cookie table

[Ch2tf]

Originally Posted by DrPhil

That depends on who you ask.

I totally get being grateful for having someone share all/some of the costs of a wedding, but I can't stand when people use money to try and get their way. After seeing what my sister went through with her wedding, I can safely say should I ever get married most (if not all) folks will get a big fat "F-off" if they tried to pull something like this.

[MysticCat]

Originally Posted by DrPhil

That depends on who you ask.

Well, if you ask this "troublemaker" (), I'd say, yes, they are within their rights, sort off. (Technically, the "rights" belong to the hosts -- whomever the invitation says is inviting people to the wedding, though to ignore the bride and groom's wishes on something like this is, I think, over the top.) But I hate to see this turn into a question of rights. Paying for the wedding is a gift, and as such it should be given graciously, not with a sense of control or entitlement.

Somehow, I think this is going to start me off on the wedding industry and the amount of money spent on weddings, so I'm going to be quiet now.

[DrPhil]

Originally Posted by Ch2tf

I totally get being grateful for having someone share all/some of the costs of a wedding, but I can't stand when people use money to try and get their way. After seeing what my sister went through with her wedding, I can safely say should I ever get married most (if not all) folks will get a big fat "F-off" if they tried to pull something like this.

Say it again!

Originally Posted by MysticCat

Well, if you ask this "troublemaker" (), I'd say, yes, they are within their rights, sort off. (Technically, the "rights" belong to the hosts -- whomever the invitation says is inviting people to the wedding, though to ignore the bride and groom's wishes on something like this is, I think, over the top.) But I hate to see this turn into a question of rights. Paying for the wedding is a gift, and as such it should be given graciously, not with a sense of control or entitlement.

Somehow, I think this is going to start me off on the wedding industry and the amount of money spent on weddings, so I'm going to be quiet now.

I like your response because we have now come full circle. This stuff isn't "common sense," afterall. I WON. *running before MysticCat reads this*

[MysticCat]

Originally Posted by DrPhil

I like your response because we have now come full circle. This stuff isn't "common sense," afterall. I WON. *running before MysticCat reads this*

Matters of considerations for the feelings of others and of a spririt of gracious giving are almost always common sense.

So. You. Lose.

[DrPhil]

Originally Posted by MysticCat

Matters of considerations for the feelings of others and of a spririt of gracious giving are almost always common sense.

So. You. Lose.

*kicks rocks*

But, wait...if it is only "almost always" how can it be "common sense?" What to do?! What to do?! Just kidding. (I still won)

[MysticCat]

Originally Posted by DrPhil

(I still won)

If it makes you happy to believe that, then go forth rejoicing!

[DrPhil]

Originally Posted by MysticCat

If it makes you happy to believe that, then go forth rejoicing!

[AZTheta]

Oh BOY!!!!! runs to sofa, popcorn and soda in hand!!!

[IrishLake]

lmao. I think I might try to sneak-send an invite to MC and DrPhil... they would really liven the party up!