What teachers really want to tell parents.

[BetteDavisEyes]

Originally Posted by Just interested

Parents need to allow their children to fail, not always be 1st, not always win a prize and use this as a teachable moment. How to deal with the disappointments that come about with just living. Time will tell what will happen to these kids as they become adults but I see major disappointment about life in general.

In my classroom, students earn incentives for good behavior, perfect attendance & returning homework completed for a certain number of weeks in a row. I have a class treasure box that the kids can choose a prize from when they've earned their rewards. Many times I've gotten angry emails, letters and calls from parents furious because their child did not get one of the prizes in my class. From Day 1, I have told parents what my expectations are. I went over them again during Back to School Night. I am rapidly learning that many parents want their snowflake to be the exception to my rules. I don't think so. They can complain and whine to the principal all they want but I'm not changing my rules and expecations for anyone.

These helicopter parents need to get a clue. They want their kid to earn rewards without actually doing the work needed to earn them in the first place.

[ASTalumna06]

Originally Posted by BetteDavisEyes

In my classroom, students earn incentives for good behavior, perfect attendance & returning homework completed for a certain number of weeks in a row. I have a class treasure box that the kids can choose a prize from when they've earned their rewards. Many times I've gotten angry emails, letters and calls from parents furious because their child did not get one of the prizes in my class. From Day 1, I have told parents what my expectations are. I went over them again during Back to School Night. I am rapidly learning that many parents want their snowflake to be the exception to my rules. I don't think so. They can complain and whine to the principal all they want but I'm not changing my rules and expecations for anyone.

These helicopter parents need to get a clue. They want their kid to earn rewards without actually doing the work needed to earn them in the first place.

I remember when I was in first grade, my teacher emphasized how important spelling was, and always tested us regarding this, even in small ways throughout the entire year. She told us on day 1 that there would be 4 major spelling tests over the course of the school year, and whoever received 100% would receive a special prize after each test.

I received 100% on 3 different occasions, and I remember the big prize that was offered twice was a stuffed animal in a balloon (which was pretty cool at the time!). As far as I know, there was never any issue with it.

I have many friends who are teachers now, and they tell me that they're afraid to praise the good kids and reward them with anything because of how parents will react. One of them gave out candy when students did well on a test, and supposedly a kid went home crying (after he got one of the lowesr scores in the class), and the mother requested to have a meeting, and proceeded to bitch out my friend, because she excluded the kids who didn't do well.

[rhoyaltempest]

We can go back and forth all day over who's at fault but I think we all know that the article is not talking about those parents that have some sense and have respect for teachers. And of course there are some "bad" teachers out there, but the article is talking about those parents (and unfortunately this group is growing more now than ever) who are out of control when it comes to their kids and have little to no respect for teachers. I have seen/heard it all and taught 13 years ago so things have been going down hill for a while (also I called parents on the phone; we didn't use email). From students being out of control and disrespecting teachers to parents trying to fight teachers without having any details. It has been out of control for a long time and it's getting worse. The children are getting worse to deal with and the parents are getting worse to deal with...see the connection? Where I taught, teachers spent much of their class time telling a child to sit down and shut up (not in those exact words) instead of teaching the day's lesson. The bottom line, no discipline at home coupled with parents who have little respect for teachers equals teachers having to be babysitters and disciplinarians all day. With the low pay (especially in school districts that need teachers urgently) and politics, more and more teachers are jumping ship now more than ever and this will continue unless we make some changes as a society.

[SWTXBelle]

Originally Posted by DrPhil

I did not say that every situation is different so find another reason to try to be a smartass.

You are stuck in what you feel and what you have to say. That proves my point even more.

I stand corrected - you did not say every situation is different: you said

Originally Posted by DrPhil

Due to the no one-size-fits-all statement that I made previously,

So please - instead of "every situation is different" insert "no one-size-fits-all". Whew! Glad to clarify THAT.

And as to being "stuck" - I've decided that you are determined to misconstrue anything I write, so I'll just bow to the inevitable and say I apologize in 12 different positions for thinking that my 20+ years as a parent and as an educator gave me any special insight to what may have prompted the article or how to improve parent/teacher communication.