What teachers really want to tell parents.

[KSUViolet06]

From CNN:

http://www.cnn.com/2011/09/06/living...-tell-parents/

Interesting and just wanted to share (because I know there are lots of parents/teachers on GC.)

[rhoyaltempest]

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

From CNN:

http://www.cnn.com/2011/09/06/living...-tell-parents/

Interesting and just wanted to share (because I know there are lots of parents/teachers on GC.)

I totally agree. I am a former teacher.

[TriDeltaSallie]

Former teacher as well and this article is very accurate.

I was a successful teacher, but got out after a few years. I love teaching and miss it. To this day I still have dreams about teaching and being in the classroom. I think of former students and classes regularly. But I was sick of school. Being a teacher is no longer about teaching. It is about everything else that gets labeled school.

The schools will not change until our culture changes and parents understand what it means to be parents. There is no way the entire system can change on the backs of the teachers.

I don't mean to sound like the voice of doom, but I have very little hope for our schools.

BTW... We are homeschooling our daughter.

[SWTXBelle]

I am a teacher.

I approve this message.

[Low C Sharp]

I'm totally with teachers for the most part, but this article went a little too far. According to the article, when a kid tells the parent about something rotten the teacher did, the parent should remember there's two sides to every story. But when the teacher reports a student's misbehavior, parents should be satisfied with hearing just one side.

Damn straight I'm asking my kid if a teacher's accusation is correct. Maybe his side of the story will shed some light on the context. Or maybe it won't, but I need to hear it. Teachers can be wrong.

[DrPhil]

Originally Posted by Low C Sharp

I'm totally with teachers for the most part, but this article went a little too far. According to the article, when a kid tells the parent about something rotten the teacher did, the parent should remember there's two sides to every story. But when the teacher reports a student's misbehavior, parents should be satisfied with hearing just one side.

Damn straight I'm asking my kid if a teacher's accusation is correct. Maybe his side of the story will shed some light on the context. Or maybe it won't, but I need to hear it. Teachers can be wrong.

Exactly. Teachers can be wrong even when the child did something wrong.

Also, my public school education taught me that in the midst of the awesome teachers (and principals) there are some jacked up teachers (and principals). Teachers are not your child's babysitters which also means that they are not the primary disciplinarian and adult in the child's life. What the teachers say and do should never go unchallenged if a problem arises. An involved parent will pay attention and make sure the kid does the right thing more often than not. As the article said, children are not and should not be perfect so there will be the occasional issue. Anything more than occasional and your child (and/or the teachers and the school) has a concern.

[SWTXBelle]

Teacher - adult
student - child

Teachers can be wrong, but the odds of you being called in for something a teacher isn't 100% sure about are pretty slim - parental meetings are a major pain, requiring paperwork, dealing with the administration, not to mention the stress. 99% of teachers aren't going to go through the hassle if it isn't a serious problem, and if they don't know what they saw. You as a parent should have already talked to your child about the incident/behavior before you go into the meeting. If you were meeting with me, your child would not be at the meeting. Parents need to partner with teachers, not regard them as the enemy.

The problem isn't parents who listen to their children and come in willing to hear the teacher; the problem is the parents who will not even entertain the idea that their little snowflake could do anything wrong. The problem is parents who come in openly hostile. You think our pretty princess entitled pnms come out of nowhere? Those apples aren't falling far from the trees.

Teaching college has definite advantages to teaching middle school.

eta - I'm not only a teacher; I'm a parent. Just today I wrote my youngest son's teacher on this, the first day of school, to alert him to certain behaviors that might be a problem and to let him know how we have been working with him this summer. THAT is partnering. I know my youngest is not perfect. But I'm his first teacher, and I want to WORK with his teachers to enable him to become the young man I know he can be. I welcome their input. Last year, when my other son reported a very troublesome incident at the school, I wrote the teacher, had a meeting, and very quickly figured out, working with him, what had happened and how my son had misinterpreted what had been said. The teachers know I regard them as allies. They know I'm not going to go off half-cocked based on something an 8 year old thinks he might have heard.

[KSig RC]

Originally Posted by SWTXBelle

Teacher - adult
student - child

Teachers can be wrong, but the odds of you being called in for something a teacher isn't 100% sure about are pretty slim - parental meetings are a major pain, requiring paperwork, dealing with the administration, not to mention the stress. 99% of teachers aren't going to go through the hassle if it isn't a serious problem, and if they don't know what they saw.

Oh - so because teachers are, on the whole, so lazy as to generally avoid such work, they should be given the benefit of the doubt in those rare occasions when the behavior catalyzes the teacher's actions, forcing them over the hump and making them actually perform the "major pain" you described?

See where we're going here? You're basically doing the same thing you accuse parents of doing, just in favor of the profession, rather than a child.

[SWTXBelle]

Originally Posted by KSig RC

Oh - so because teachers are, on the whole, so lazy as to generally avoid such work, they should be given the benefit of the doubt in those rare occasions when the behavior catalyzes the teacher's actions, forcing them over the hump and making them actually perform the "major pain" you described?

See where we're going here? You're basically doing the same thing you accuse parents of doing, just in favor of the profession, rather than a child.

Oh, yes, that's exactly what I meant. Thank you for clarifying. Here I was thinking it was liable to be misinterpreted as pointing out that teacher's don't call meetings just to amuse themselves and to fill up all that spare time they have since they only work from 8 - 3, but you've summed it up nicely.

[KSig RC]

Originally Posted by SWTXBelle

Oh, yes, that's exactly what I meant. Thank you for clarifying. Here I was thinking it was liable to be misinterpreted as pointing out that teacher's don't call meetings just to amuse themselves and to fill up all that spare time they have since they only work from 8 - 3, but you've summed it up nicely.

Nobody claimed teachers call meetings to amuse themselves - you're fighting strawmen like they're on top of a hill at Normandy.

Think about what you've said, though:

1 - Parents who think Little Johnny is perfect, or close to it, are wildly overrating their child and make it difficult to get anything done.

2 - Teachers should be considered 99% (or more!) accurate (meaning perfect, or close to it) with their observations and analysis of child behavior, because after all, who wants to hold meetings?

Oh.

[SWTXBelle]

Originally Posted by KSig RC

Nobody claimed teachers call meetings to amuse themselves - you're fighting strawmen like they're on top of a hill at Normandy.

Think about what you've said, though:

1 - Parents who think Little Johnny is perfect, or close to it, are wildly overrating their child and make it difficult to get anything done.

2 - Teachers should be considered 99% (or more!) accurate (meaning perfect, or close to it) with their observations and analysis of child behavior, because after all, who wants to hold meetings?

Oh.

IRONY. It was irony. Perhaps hyperbole. Jeez.

1. - No. Parents who will not entertain the idea that their children are in need of help - be it behavior or scholastic - make it impossible for teachers to work with them to help their children.

2. - NO - I never said they were perfect in any way; I did say that they are not going to randomly call meetings without having some basis for doing so. If you want to argue that teachers -whatever percentage you wish - are in fact calling meetings with no basis, I'd like to know what you are basing that assumption on - your experience? A Study? What? Or are you arguing that teachers can't identify a child who is struggling scholastically or a behavior problem?

[DrPhil]

Teachers and principals called parents when I was in middle school and high school. They now email parents. Meaning, in many school systems, parental meetings are not the primary way that parents are notified of student failure to complete assignments and misbehavior. It is sometimes the case that the parents are the ones who request an in-person meeting.

People need to remember that school systems differ, teachers differ, parents differ, and there is no one-size-fits-all approach to this. The general message remains the same but the details will vary.

[SWTXBelle]

Oh, I prefer e-mail because you have a written record. The problem is one we have here on GreekChat - tone. It can be very difficult to write in a non-confrontational tone. I spent a great deal of time framing e-mails because of that. Some parents didn't - but at least I had a record of what actually transpired. Taping meetings is not a bad idea, because there are parents who will absolutely lie about what you said. Not many, but enough to make it worth your while to cya. And THAT is one reason so many great teachers are leaving - so much of our time is spent playing cya, instead of doing things that would directly impact the students.

[carnation]

Originally Posted by SWTXBelle

Taping meetings is not a bad idea, because there are parents who will absolutely lie about what you said. Not many, but enough to make it worth your while to cya. And THAT is one reason so many great teachers are leaving - so much of our time is spent playing cya, instead of doing things that would directly impact the students.

My husband is behind me reading this and screaming, "YES! YES!"

[KSUViolet06]

I don't think he's saying that teachers are 100% infallible and are the authority on all kids in their classrooms and their word > a child's.

I think he was moreso talking about what many parents do when asked about something their kid is doing, assume that their kid is telling the 100% gospel truth about a situation/behavior and paint the teacher as an adversary.

Ex:

Teacher says "Hey Mrs. Parent, Bobby keeps throwing stuff during art time even after I tell him to stop. Could you address that behavior with Bobby?"

Some parents: "OMG. Bobby never throws a THING at home. Ask him. Surely you are mistaken?"

They immediately take the defensive position and assume that the teacher is not seeing things correctly.

A more appropriate response (if you have honestly never seen your son throw things) would be: "Really? Well, I will definitely ask him about what's going on."

Don't immediately jump to defend your kid when all the teacher is doing is pointing out a behavior.