The Golden Rule

[shirley1929]

Originally Posted by VandalSquirrel

Now maybe it is because I haven't been having the best day that I'm responding thusly, but instead of a passive aggressive finger wagging thread, why not just call out the individuals who are sugar pops mean girls and you think are poor examples? Why make a thread that the majority find insulting and ridiculous, and therefore make yourself a target for the horrible behavior of all of us?

Do I think a lot of posters, both PNMs and their mamas need to get a grip and step away from GC? Obviously! However I find the whole intention of this thread exponentially more ridiculous and ludicrous than things that have allegedly been said. I'm not going to tell someone to go to Happy Pony Rainbow Land (get it right if you're going to mock it and us) I'm going to tell you that if you're this butt hurt over GC you want to call us out and throw some shade, perhaps you need to learn about the ignore function or log off from the internet for awhile.

Call individuals and their behavior out by name, or keep it to yourself. If that statement is going to hold in the recruitment forum for a certain mama, daughter, and what not when people get accusatory, it is good enough for the Greek Life forum.

Originally Posted by MysticCat

All right. My $0.02, for what they're worth:

I think threads like this rarely have the desired effect. Even when motivated by a sincere desire to improve things, they tend to come across as patronizing and preachy. People do not usually respond positively to what can come across like pontification. So the result is that more often than not threads like this produce the opposite of the desired effect. This is a fairly foreseeable outcome.

I think that is particularly true when legitimate opinions are minimized. For example, to ask that someone with a differing opinion not be called a "sock-puppet" or "troll" diminishes the valid criticisms of real sock-puppets and trolls by dismissing those criticisms as "you just disagree with/don't like them."

I also think it is particularly true when someone suggests in any way that others aren't living up to the ideals of their fraternity or sorority. I learned that the hard way many years ago. Judgmental observations are rarely appreciated.

Yes, many here go overboard sometimes, me included I'm afraid. But sometimes the harshness is, if not polite, understandable. The actions of some posters have taught others not to take everything at face value, or to recognize signs that something isn't on the up-and-up.

No, it's not always pretty. But I tend to think these things have a way of working and evening themselves out, and the best way for that to happen is through dialogue -- challenging specific posts that one thinks are out of line and letting the community, with moderator assistance when necessary, police itself.

Passive-aggressive threads like this, on the other hand, fan the flames and become part of the problem.

I'm dead honest when I say, I appreciate what you both have to say here. You're right, I am being passive aggressive and maybe it's just because I don't have time to comment on every single thread and look more like the "cyber-police" as I've been called here. My point from the first is to have people just think about the whole picture (and how your - not you personally of course - post might be received) when posting. That's it. I was probably too wordy in the way that I said it. So maybe that's a better way of saying it.

Originally Posted by UGAalum94

I suspect it's not surprising that I agree in principle with most of what the OP says. We can quibble about the relative obnoxiousness of implying we're embarrassing our GLOs, but I think it pales in comparison with some of the unnecessary meanness that a lot of us have delivered at one point or another.

However, I think cyberbullying is a huge overstatement of what goes on here. I'm skeptical of the cyberbullying concept generally and think that it's getting way blown out of proportion when identified as a social problem.

ETA: as usual MC nails it.

Cyber-bullying is a big statement, but the idea of continually kicking and dogpile-ing on someone when they're down, from behind a unknown username is more hurtful. You're more likely to say more damaging things when you can remain anonymous. They still hurt. Again, I'm just asking people to think before posting...that's all.