Inviting a +1 to a wedding

[ASTalumna06]

Originally Posted by agzg

Yes. Just make sure you write his FIRST AND LAST NAME on the response card.

After reading this thread, that's the first thing I thought of when I saw the RSVP card

Something I noticed about those, though.. I don't think I've ever seen one with more than 1 line. Usually they read:

M___________

# attending ____
Meal ____

.. Or something like that.

There's really only room for one name on those cards, unless you create another line of your own, or squish everything onto the one line provided. I can see how people bringing a guest might forget to specify who they're bringing.

[agzg]

Originally Posted by ASTalumna06

After reading this thread, that's the first thing I thought of when I saw the RSVP card

Something I noticed about those, though.. I don't think I've ever seen one with more than 1 line. Usually they read:

M___________

# attending ____
Meal ____

.. Or something like that.

There's really only room for one name on those cards, unless you create another line of your own, or squish everything onto the one line provided. I can see how people bringing a guest might forget to specify who they're bringing.

Write it in the white space!

[TonyB06]

I'm amazed at some of the thread responses.

If an invite is for "Mr./Mrs.," or "X and guest," then that's two people --not the uninvited kids/friends of the two invited. I mean, the couple, or whoever is funding the wedding, has to pay for each plate/meal at the reception, so it's bad form, IMO, among a number of reasons, to show up w/ crew in tow if the invite was only for two.

It would be unfortunate, but I'd have no problem turning away extra, uninvited people -- because, in reality, they'd be taking up the places of other invited guests.

[ASTalumna06]

Originally Posted by DrPhil

Speaking of kids, I am a HUGE FAN of childfree weddings. I wish more people would forbid children from the wedding and reception. I love that many of my friends did that.

Amen!

I don't even know why people bring them. If and when I have kids, the last place I want to bring them to is a wedding. And if they're infants/toddlers, forget about it! The thought of having to keep them quiet during the ceremony, feed them at dinner, and watch after them while everyone drinks and dances is not my idea of a good time.

[MysticCat]

Originally Posted by ASTalumna06

Amen!

I don't even know why people bring them. If and when I have kids, the last place I want to bring them to is a wedding. And if they're infants/toddlers, forget about it! The thought of having to keep them quiet during the ceremony, feed them at dinner, and watch after them while everyone drinks and dances is not my idea of a good time.

Like so many other things, I think this is contextual -- it all depends on the kind/tone of wedding/reception and, to be honest, the specific kids and the parents.

We've been invited to weddings without kids and we've been invited to weddings where not only were the kids invited, but where the bride and/or groom made it a point to say "I hope you're coming" to our kids. I've been to weddings where I was more than happy to leave the kids at home, and I've been to weddings where I was glad to have the kids along. If nothing else, it's a great opprtunity to help them learn how to act at events like that.

There were children at our wedding, and we loved them being there. They had fun helping the groomsmen decorate my car. For me, my wedding wouldn't have been as much fun without kids there. But then, we both tend to prefer multi-generational gatherings. We both come from a background that would look as weddings as a gathering of family and community, and children are part of the family and the community. (I don't say that as a criticism at all of how other people might view weddings, just as an identification of our perspective.)

Like I noted up-thread, dinner receptions have only become common around here in the last 10-15 years, and I still don't know that they can be considered the norm. Dances were unheard of, unless it was a seperate dance after the formal reception. With the more traditional sort of reception around here, kids are rarely an issue or a problem.

But I think it's pretty simple. If the bride and groom don't want them there, then don't invite them, and guests should honor that. If they do invite them, but you don't want to take your own kids, don't.