He, she or it? Family keeps baby's gender a secret

[Munchkin03]

The first time I read this, in a Yahoo! article, I thought that it was pretty cool. They weren't raising their children based on others' expectations of what boys and girls should do--granted, they're doing it in an extreme manner.

Then I read the Toronto Star article, that discussed more about them, and they just struck me as super tripped out on themselves. They kind of reminded me of LN, the character played by Maggie Gyllenhaal in "Away We Go." They also reminded me of people I went to college with who were super annoying.

If anything, the "no-schooling" bothers me more than the genderless upbringing. Kids need the social structure of school...even progressive programs like Waldorf and Montessori still have some structure!

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by Munchkin03

If anything, the "no-schooling" bothers me more than the genderless upbringing. Kids need the social structure of school...even progressive programs like Waldorf and Montessori still have some structure!

I agree. I opened up a huge can of worms once with some pro-homeschooling people over this once. I don't think that homeschool is devil or anything, just that some people do it with the goal of isolating their kids socially (ex: saying things like "I don't want him/her to be influenced by other kids at school.")

[PiKA2001]

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

some people do it with the goal of isolating their kids socially (ex: saying things like "I don't want him/her to be influenced by other kids at school.")

That's another thing-

I was wondering if these kids interact socially with other kids and I'm willing to bet the answer is NO.

[AnotherKD]

Originally Posted by PiKA2001

That's another thing-

I was wondering if these kids interact socially with other kids and I'm willing to bet the answer is NO.

I vaguely remember the story (it's not coming up on my computer now) about the kids trying to play with others, but the others didn't want to play with a "girl-boy" or something like that. Instead of trying to teach the other kids tolerance, the parents would just take their different-looking kid away. Same with when they wanted to buy that boa for the one boy- when the person at the counter questioned the purchase, they just left. So it seems like the parents are setting these kids up for failure by a lot of what they are doing and how they are handling (or not handling) hurdles that will inevitably come up.

[Munchkin03]

Originally Posted by PiKA2001

That's another thing-

I was wondering if these kids interact socially with other kids and I'm willing to bet the answer is NO.

No, they don't. The article in the Toronto Star is a lot more open about how unconventional they are. One of the two boys asked not to interact with any other kids because they make fun of him.

Kids need other kids. I know parents who did not like children (other than their own) and as a result did not encourage their kids to spend time with potential friends and peers...that is a pretty damaging thing to do to a child. This is far more willful and, I expect, more damaging.

Again--the "unschooling" thing bothers me more than the gender-neutral parenting.

[DrPhil]

Originally Posted by Munchkin03

One of the two boys asked not to interact with any other kids because they make fun of him.

And he isn't the only kid who feels that way. There are a lot of kids who would not go to school if they had the choice, not because they hate school but because they hate the kids at school for whatever reasons. Of course, all of the kids at school are generally saying and doing what they have learned from the (even Godly and strong parenting ) adults.

Originally Posted by Munchkin03

Kids need other kids. I know parents who did not like children (other than their own) and as a result did not encourage their kids to spend time with potential friends and peers...that is a pretty damaging thing to do to a child. This is far more willful and, I expect, more damaging.

All things in moderation. But, life is so complex and non-formulaic that moderation can be extremely difficult.