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Originally Posted by Drolefille
Except I disagree. I think PNMs should use their own judgement. If they really do ONLY want XYZ then saying that is probably fine earlier. A more benign statement about XYZ being their favorite even if they're still interested in other chapters is also probably fine earlier.
I don't think there's a bottom line that we all agree on, nor will there be.
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As I've said before, if a girl only wants one group, that's one thing. But the vast
majority of PNMs are better off being open minded. This is why it's a good idea to keep an open mind and present an open minded view to chapters until pref. If on pref night she knows she wants XYZ so badly that she'll list them first or even suicide, there's no point in holding that back. If she says that same thing on night 1 there is definitely the possibility that she'll be dropped from other sororities on campus who don't want to waste space on her, and then she's pigeonholed, or worse gets dropped from recruitment. Therefore it's IMO a really bad idea to make it known that Polly PNM only wants XYZ until she's had the time to at least see the other options...unless she wants to take that gamble (or really is fine with having XYZ or nothing at all, in which case, go for it).
Of course "I really like it here"/"I feel at home here"/"I really like your chapter" are nice and much more general things to say that show genuine interest without making actives think that is the only option Polly is considering.
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