Quote:
Originally Posted by Drolefille
Yep, we're on the same page. I think most of these parents mean well and learn, perhaps after some missteps. But it's the oblivion of someone who doesn't have to think about the things their kid will every day. See the story about the Sesame Street writer who didn't realize that it wasn't just his adopted daughter who wanted her hair to look like Barbie. NPR with the Sesame Street video in the story.
Adoption's complicated for a lot of reasons. I see a lot of reasons to foster and to adopt an older child through the foster system rather than to go infant hunting. (And not just because there are many older children who need homes, but that's good too.) |
With things in my life I'm kind of accepting that I'm probably not getting married and having biological kids, and though my privileged white background will allow me to adopt internationally or afford treatments and/or a sperm bank, I'm really leaning towards being a foster parent. Where I plan to live because of the work I do (Alaska) I'm more likely to foster kids who are Alaska Native, but I'm also planning to be a foster parent for GLBTQ kids as I think that is another group of kids who are in need of safe places to live and thrive. The way things are looking I may be sharing a large home or property with various buildings with my family, and maybe even my best friend so my nephew will be able to have siblings/cousins. I am so fortunate I have been in situations and have family members and friends that put me outside of my white, christian, privileged, hetero-normative background that I need to use everything I have to be there for kids who have no one.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Leslie Anne
I knew this thread would get pissy if I posted in it....which is why I hesitated for a few days.  |
Quote:
Originally Posted by Drolefille
Where is the pissiness?
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Probably what I said about babies and not wanting older kids. I don't think anyone is the devil for adopting outside the US, but DrPhil said some of what I was thinking. I know those kids are going to get adopted so I'm hoping we can start getting people interested in foster care, whether or not it leads to adoption. I really think that people like me in background (see above) aren't encouraged to be foster parents, nor are other people who have resources but not knowledge. Adopting from Russia or former Soviet countries where children are viewed as "white" is different than from places where the children have different noticeable physical characteristics, and the ability to physically blend and see similarities with parents and other family members may cause less issues.
I have friends who have adopted internationally, I have worked for a family who adopted all of their children from Korea, am I happy for them? Hell yes, and I babysit and support them, but I will do what I can to help kids here as well. It isn't an either or, but the system has to change somehow and I know the kids abroad will be adopted, but I want the kids here to not be victims and miss out as well.
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