International Adoption

[DrPhil]

Originally Posted by Drolefille

Probably the same reason they say they're colorblind. I think they just don't think about it. Or they just have no concept of the issues that could come up, even if it's something as (seemingly) simple as doing their daughter's hair.

Makes sense and we've pretty much discussed that in threads over the years.

Since the majority of these adoptive parents are white Americans, those who don't know need to know that whiteness and Americanness aren't the norm, aren't generic, and aren't invisible. They are very much socialized into whiteness/as whites and into Americanness/as Americans.

They can choose to challenge these constructions of race and ethnicity and nationality. But they can't do that if they are going to intentionally or unintentionally socialize the children into whiteness and Americanness. While these parents may pretend that they are generically being good parents, the kids discover early on how they have a difficult time relating to those who "look like them."

[Drolefille]

Originally Posted by DrPhil

Makes sense and we've pretty much discussed that in threads over the years.

Since the majority of these adoptive parents are white Americans, those who don't know need to know that whiteness and Americanness aren't the norm, aren't generic, and aren't invisible. They are very much socialized into whiteness/as whites and into Americanness/as Americans.

They can choose to challenge these constructions of race and ethnicity and nationality. But they can't do that if they are going to intentionally or unintentionally socialize the children into whiteness and Americanness. While these parents may pretend that they are generically being good parents, the kids discover early on how they have a difficult time relating to those who "look like them."

Yep, we're on the same page. I think most of these parents mean well and learn, perhaps after some missteps. But it's the oblivion of someone who doesn't have to think about the things their kid will every day. See the story about the Sesame Street writer who didn't realize that it wasn't just his adopted daughter who wanted her hair to look like Barbie. NPR with the Sesame Street video in the story.

Adoption's complicated for a lot of reasons. I see a lot of reasons to foster and to adopt an older child through the foster system rather than to go infant hunting. (And not just because there are many older children who need homes, but that's good too.)