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Originally Posted by AOII Angel
Did you see how all of this was pointless? You both made the situation painful for no reason. You were mad because she got an adopted Big Sis....but you got a new Lil Sis. In the end, sisters are not trophies. They have needs and being completely militant about the Big-Lil relationship causes more pain and ruins more relationships. Yes, it's painful, but their are painful situations in all relationships. The important thing is to PRESERVE the friendship because 10 to 15 years later, wouldn't you rather be speaking to your Big or Lil sis than being able to tell this story?
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Um, adoption is a cut off. She chose to end the friendship/relationship. If she chooses to reactivate it, I of course will always be there for her. It is a vow I took, but I am not going to make the first move and I don't feel adding me as a FB friend qualifies as a first major big move.
As for my new little sisters, I treated them well. I went to all pledge activities, gave gifts, took them out, visited after I graduated and even participated in a tradition that was a big no no at my old chapter. But, I can honestly say, my emotions were reserved and I never let myself be as connected. I was invited to both their weddings and even slept over one of their houses this year.From the outside, nobody would know the difference. I knew the difference though.
Quote:
Originally Posted by 33girl
No one's being militant or looking at someone as a trophy. It's about being rejected - not rejected as part of a sorority, rejected as YOU - for reasons like transferring that are beyond your control.
If you wouldn't be deeply hurt by that, I don't know how else to explain it to you.
To say "oh well, she got a new big, you got a new little, everything's hunky dory" is kind of like saying "oh well, you divorced, he got a new wife, you got a new husband, why all the unnecessary pain?" Maybe that's a little much, but a relationship is a relationship.
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Maybe it's because we're sisters, but you totally get me.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Barbie's_Rush
I don't get why someone would get so worked up about this. She's not at the school or in the chapter anymore. They remain close, but they aren't able to do things on a daily basis. The little deserves to have a big there in her chapter and involved then and there. I think the big is being extremely selfish and treating her former little as an object. If this behavior continues, she's likely to not only lose her little, but destroy any kind of friendship they have.
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In ASA, the primary responsibility of a big is to ensure the little has all the support she needs to get initiated. I did that. I also offered emotional support on a friendship level during and after pledging. I would have graduated in one year anyway. Do you feel that any time someone graduates that their littles should be adopted since they can't now be the head of the family on campus? Actually, it's not even that she was alone. My tree had 4 branches, thanks to my great, great, great, grandbig. My big (though not active), grandbig and great grandbig were all still on campus. There were cousins and aunts too. Maybe it is a GLO thing, or maybe it is that these relationships, as 33 mentioned, are just different on every campus.
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