Assistant attorney general blogs against gay student body president

[agzg]

Originally Posted by Alumiyum

I'll put it this way...I have some very self satisfied friends and I still don't know a woman that thinks every single man that meets her is attracted to her.

So how is that disproving that there are people who believe that men and women cannot have platonic relationships with one another?

I mean, the concept shouldn't even be that foreign - it's actually a very common school of thought. It's the basic premise of pretty much every romantic comedy ever made.

[Drolefille]

Originally Posted by agzg

So how is that disproving that there are people who believe that men and women cannot have platonic relationships with one another?

I mean, the concept shouldn't even be that foreign - it's actually a very common school of thought. It's the basic premise of pretty much every romantic comedy ever made.

There's a whole series of articles on Slate.com about it recently. Male-female friendships are actually relatively new as far as our society goes.

Think about it this way, if someone's in a romantic (heterosexual) relationship, is it appropriate for them to share a hotel room with a friend of the opposite sex? What about the same sex?

Why do you think that 9/10 times the answer is different?

[agzg]

Originally Posted by Drolefille

There's a whole series of articles on Slate.com about it recently. Male-female friendships are actually relatively new as far as our society goes.

Think about it this way, if someone's in a romantic (heterosexual) relationship, is it appropriate for them to share a hotel room with a friend of the opposite sex? What about the same sex?

Why do you think that 9/10 times the answer is different?

I actually was thinking of that series. It's not ended yet, right?

[AGDee]

Even though I don't expect that every man is attracted to me, I would not share a bedroom with one and change my clothes in front of him, even if he's a platonic friend (and my own jury about platonic friendships is definitely out.. I don't think I've experienced a platonic friendship with a man... if I'm close enough to be his friend, I secretly want more).

[Drolefille]

Originally Posted by agzg

I actually was thinking of that series. It's not ended yet, right?

Don't think so, there's one up today I think.

[knight_shadow]

Originally Posted by AGDee

Even though I don't expect that every man is attracted to me, I would not share a bedroom with one and change my clothes in front of him, even if he's a platonic friend (and my own jury about platonic friendships is definitely out.. I don't think I've experienced a platonic friendship with a man... if I'm close enough to be his friend, I secretly want more).

Changing your clothes is one thing (outside of a locker room, I wouldn't change clothes in front of anyone -- it's not really appropriate), but a lot of these folks are scared in neutral situations.

[Alumiyum]

Originally Posted by knight_shadow

Changing your clothes is one thing (outside of a locker room, I wouldn't change clothes in front of anyone -- it's not really appropriate), but a lot of these folks are scared in neutral situations.

THIS is my point. Bowing down to k_s.

[agzg]

Originally Posted by knight_shadow

Changing your clothes is one thing (outside of a locker room, I wouldn't change clothes in front of anyone -- it's not really appropriate), but a lot of these folks are scared in neutral situations.

Well, that takes me back to the thought that they'd prefer to be hit on by someone of the opposite sex than someone of the same sex.

[Alumiyum]

Originally Posted by agzg

Well, that takes me back to the thought that they'd prefer to be hit on by someone of the opposite sex than someone of the same sex.

This is an excuse for being scared?

ETA: I would prefer that no one "hit on" me. I'm still not going to be scared of all heterosexual men or all lesbian women.

[agzg]

Originally Posted by Alumiyum

This is an excuse for being scared?

Did I ever say it was?

Just because I can see a possible logical thought process doesn't mean it's not homophobic.

[knight_shadow]

Originally Posted by agzg

Well, that takes me back to the thought that they'd prefer to be hit on by someone of the opposite sex than someone of the same sex.

I get what you're saying, but I just think people with those views are being irrational.

I've been around people who will threaten to leave restaurants and stores because they see a homosexual walk in. Sharing a space with someone does not automatically mean that the person is going to try to spit game.

These people also seem to forget that a lot of the people they're encountering are on the 'flamboyant' end of the spectrum, and that not everyone is at that extreme.

[agzg]

Originally Posted by knight_shadow

I get what you're saying, but I just think people with those views are being irrational.

I've been around people who will threaten to leave restaurants and stores because they see a homosexual walk in. Sharing a space with someone does not automatically mean that the person is going to try to spit game.

These people also seem to forget that a lot of the people they're encountering are on the 'flamboyant' end of the spectrum, and that not everyone is at that extreme.

Well, "rational" depends on your starting point.

Besides, this is obviously not the view of all homophobes. I highly doubt that Fred Phelps fits in this model.

I'm talking about the more subtle - the "I don't want to give her a bid because I'm afraid she'll hit on me" rather than the "I don't want to be in the same restaurant because I'm afraid she'll hit on me." In a chapter, the assumption (although we know this is not true) is that you're all friends, you all have a relationship with one another.

If a person doesn't think a straight man and woman can have a relationship with one another that is strictly platonic, they might also think that they can't be friends with a member of the same sex who is gay and have that be strictly platonic, either.

It's not "I don't want to work with you in a group project for 20 minutes during class because you're gay and you'll hit on me."

People who follow the When Harry Met Sally mentality may still socialize and persue friendships with the opposite sex, it's just that they don't expect even the possibility that it will remain neutral. If that's your starting point, I think it's completely rational that someone would think the same of a lesbian potential new member.

[Alumiyum]

Originally Posted by agzg

Well, "rational" depends on your starting point.

Besides, this is obviously not the view of all homophobes. I highly doubt that Fred Phelps fits in this model.

I'm talking about the more subtle - the "I don't want to give her a bid because I'm afraid she'll hit on me" rather than the "I don't want to be in the same restaurant because I'm afraid she'll hit on me." In a chapter, the assumption (although we know this is not true) is that you're all friends, you all have a relationship with one another.

If a person doesn't think a straight man and woman can have a relationship with one another that is strictly platonic, they might also think that they can't be friends with a member of the same sex who is gay and have that be strictly platonic, either.

It's not "I don't want to work with you in a group project for 20 minutes during class because you're gay and you'll hit on me."

People who follow the When Harry Met Sally mentality may still socialize and persue friendships with the opposite sex, it's just that they don't expect even the possibility that it will remain neutral. If that's your starting point, I think it's completely rational that someone would think the same of a lesbian potential new member.

So because they belong to the same sorority as you, they'll hit on you? Ok...then don't make them your new best friend. This is what I'm talking about.

[knight_shadow]

Originally Posted by agzg

Well, "rational" depends on your starting point.
Besides, this is obviously not the view of all homophobes. I highly doubt that Fred Phelps fits in this model.

I'm talking about the more subtle - the "I don't want to give her a bid because I'm afraid she'll hit on me" rather than the "I don't want to be in the same restaurant because I'm afraid she'll hit on me." In a chapter, the assumption (although we know this is not true) is that you're all friends, you all have a relationship with one another.

If a person doesn't think a straight man and woman can have a relationship with one another that is strictly platonic, they might also think that they can't be friends with a member of the same sex who is gay and have that be strictly platonic, either.

It's not "I don't want to work with you in a group project for 20 minutes during class because you're gay and you'll hit on me."

People who follow the When Harry Met Sally mentality may still socialize and persue friendships with the opposite sex, it's just that they don't expect even the possibility that it will remain neutral. If that's your starting point, I think it's completely rational that someone would think the same of a lesbian potential new member.

@ the bold, that's why I prefaced it with "I think"

I have heard of and seen several GLBT GLO members come out to their brothers/sisters after graduating. Those members didn't hit on members while they were active -- otherwise, they would have been outed sooner.

I'm not going to assume to know how everyone else handles MS, but I'd think that if a GLBT aspirant is being discussed, SOMEONE should be around to say "Well, Jimmy from Fall 2005 was gay and didn't hit on anyone. Why do you all think Johnny would?" or something along those lines.

[Alumiyum]

Originally Posted by knight_shadow

@ the bold, that's why I prefaced it with "I think"

I have heard of and seen several GLBT GLO members come out to their brothers/sisters after graduating. Those members didn't hit on members while they were active -- otherwise, they would have been outed sooner.

I'm not going to assume to know how everyone else handles MS, but I'd think that if a GLBT aspirant is being discussed, SOMEONE should be around to say "Well, Jimmy from Fall 2005 was gay and didn't hit on anyone. Why do you all think Johnny would?" or something along those lines.

This^.

I do personally know two sorority members who came out after becoming alums because they were afraid of judgment were they to come out during their time as an active. One had a quiet relationship with a woman at a different college that few people know about and one simply didn't talk about her sexuality. They didn't "hit on" anyone. (In other words, same example as yours, just reinforcing it with another true-life anecdote).