Blacklisted

[AnchorAlumna]

Originally Posted by Barbie's_Rush

If she's an alumna, there is the power of the no rec.

That doesn't even have the power it used to.

Originally Posted by AzTheta

Which is why I don't agree to write letters or provide references for people that I cannot support.

Here's the problem with that: nobody recs the girl, but she looks good on paper, so Amy Active signs the form (in a group where collegiates can sign) or Visiting not-very-involved Alumna signs when the officers shoves it toward her.

Why would you not want to warn your sorority about a problem PNM?

[AZTheta]

Originally Posted by AnchorAlumna

Why would you not want to warn your sorority about a problem PNM?

A warning does not have to be written. There is no appropriate smiley for that statement but I am sure that everyone knows exactly what I mean.

/slight swerve: I've been contacted via telephone by an employer, because someone I supervised put my name down as a reference, without informing me. Phone calls have always been my preferred method of communication when the reference is less than stellar. /end swerve.

[annabella]

Originally Posted by AzTheta

A warning does not have to be written.

More often than not a post-it note/phone number on a no-rec will garner an immediate response to clarify a delicate situation.
(was that what you were getting at?

[AnchorAlumna]

Originally Posted by annabella

More often than not a post-it note/phone number on a no-rec will garner an immediate response to clarify a delicate situation.
(was that what you were getting at?

Or a call.
But I've had more than 1 alumna tell me, "I hated to say anything." And then the chapter - clueless - pledges the girl.
Sometimes the "no" recs - written or otherwise - are more valuable than the "yes" ones.

[33girl]

Originally Posted by AnchorAlumna

Here's the problem with that: nobody recs the girl, but she looks good on paper, so Amy Active signs the form (in a group where collegiates can sign) or Visiting not-very-involved Alumna signs when the officers shoves it toward her.

Why would you not want to warn your sorority about a problem PNM?

Well, there's a big difference between "PNM I'm just not that jazzed about so I really don't want to recommend her" and "PNM who will bring havoc and mayhem throughout the chapter."

I mean I can't imagine you'd want to be known as that alum who no-recs at the drop of a hat. Your credibility would be nil.

[carnation]

One of the girls I wrote a no-rec for had caused mayhem at a Girl Scout camp the summer before rush, including slapping several counselors and the camp's assistant director in the face. I could not write that no-rec fast enough and told my oldest that she really needed to write one too because the girl was claiming to be a legacy of her sorority. Soon afterwards, we got a call from an alum of my daughter's sorority. They had investigated and it turned out that the girl had a police record for attacking people (you don't usually see that in that upperclass neighborhood) and thanked my daughter for alerting them.

Fast forward a few months: we were on that campus and I saw a girl in Greek letters and we talked about Greek life. I asked her where several girls we knew had pledged and also about the psycho. She said that her sorority had been jollied into pledging the girl (I forget by who but I think they got a call from the college president) and that the girl had caused them weeks of havoc before they got rid of her.

[MysticCat]

Originally Posted by ellebud

The term "blackballed" came from an old fraternity membership tradition.

Just to keep the historical record clear, fraternities adopted the tradition from the Masons and other social clubs.

[AnchorAlumna]

Originally Posted by 33girl

Well, there's a big difference between "PNM I'm just not that jazzed about so I really don't want to recommend her" and "PNM who will bring havoc and mayhem throughout the chapter."

I mean I can't imagine you'd want to be known as that alum who no-recs at the drop of a hat. Your credibility would be nil.

True, but I honestly can't think of anybody I know who writes "no" recs as a rule. It's rare...I've probably done 3 or 4 in about 30 years of writing them. Funny thing is...I've got 2 here now.

I have to say that our chapter learned the hard way not to disregard a "no." Twice we overrode such a rec...Basically we sweet-talked them into changing it. But neither girl helped our GPA or wound up initiating, and one caused some drama.

OTOH...I heard of another group where one particular PNM had sterling recs from half a dozen hometown alums. That girl never made her grades (which you had to, back in the day) and had quite the reputation around certain locker rooms.