Blacklisted - Page 2

UofAgreek10 · #16 08-04-2010, 04:14 PM

At the University I'm attending, they use the term 'Blacklist' and throughout high school by hear say it seems to be a big deal, that's why I was so worried. And the girl was definitely in a sorority, but is not active anymore. But I was told she called her sisters.

But thank you for all the advice, I'm a lot less worried! And @33girl, I wasn't trying to imply I'm Greek, I'm just here to get information on Greek. Sorry if it's offensive!

FSUZeta · #17 08-04-2010, 04:21 PM

your name is fine.

as i said before, don't let her get to you. just be yourself, smile, be friendly and interested(even in that house)-as others have said, her opinion may not be valued at all by her sisters. even if it is, there are other sororities to consider.

i can tell you that in my day, we would not have put any weight in anything a member of another sorority said about a pnm-nor did we ever talk about rush or rushees at all with members of other groups. you never know if there is something personal going on between the pnm and the sorority girl, or if they are in love with her and want to do all they can to ensure that she pledges there.

ThetaPrincess24 · #18 08-04-2010, 04:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by UofAgreek10

At the University I'm attending, they use the term 'Blacklist' and throughout high school by hear say it seems to be a big deal, that's why I was so worried. And the girl was definitely in a sorority, but is not active anymore. But I was told she called her sisters.

But thank you for all the advice, I'm a lot less worried! And @33girl, I wasn't trying to imply I'm Greek, I'm just here to get information on Greek. Sorry if it's offensive!

An inactive member be it an inactive college member or alumna member isnt typically going to have the pull that an active member does. Inactive members and I'm assuming alumnae dont have a vote in the membership selection process I wouldnt think either.

BabyPiNK_FL · #19 08-04-2010, 05:43 PM

If she's not active any more, the chances are she's not a very well-respected sister. Especially if you mean she's still in school and is not a traditional alumna. She has no voting power and very little influence if she hated it enough to leave early most likely. She was probably one of those girls who didn't want to go to meeting, didn't want to do her volunteer hours, refused to table for philanthorpy events, and gave up on the chapter all together.

Barbie's_Rush · #20 08-04-2010, 05:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ThetaPrincess24

An inactive member be it an inactive college member or alumna member isnt typically going to have the pull that an active member does. Inactive members and I'm assuming alumnae dont have a vote in the membership selection process I wouldnt think either.

Quote:

Originally Posted by BabyPiNK_FL

If she's not active any more, the chances are she's not a very well-respected sister. Especially if you mean she's still in school and is not a traditional alumna. She has no voting power and very little influence if she hated it enough to leave early most likely. She was probably one of those girls who didn't want to go to meeting, didn't want to do her volunteer hours, refused to table for philanthorpy events, and gave up on the chapter all together.

If she's an alumna, there is the power of the no rec. Just sayin'. But seriously, there's really no way an inactive member of a sorority is going to have any kind of influence on the active members of other sororities, unless you've done something very high profile and scandalous.

BabyPiNK_FL · #21 08-04-2010, 06:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Barbie's_Rush

If she's an alumna, there is the power of the no rec. Just sayin'. But seriously, there's really no way an inactive member of a sorority is going to have any kind of influence on the active members of other sororities, unless you've done something very high profile and scandalous.

Yes, this is true. I am aware of it, but on my campus since recs are rare they aren't the end all be all of my recruitment universe and I speak from my context. Sorry for the unintentional exclusion because obviously they may matter in the case of this PNM here. However, if Miss Bully is a non-traditional (left before her undergrad was complete) her no rec may not mean much to a chapter that may have been glad to get rid of her.

Psi U MC Vito · #22 08-04-2010, 06:22 PM

What exactly is a no rec? I heard the term before but aren't clear on what they are. Is it just saying "I would highly recommend that you not bid this person" or is it "You can not bid this person" if you get one?

AZTheta · #23 08-04-2010, 06:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Psi U MC Vito

What exactly is a no rec? I heard the term before but aren't clear on what they are. Is it just saying "I would highly recommend that you not bid this person" or is it "You can not bid this person" if you get one?

Perfect timing. Just had a conversation with another GCer this morning about this very thing (a "no rec" recommendation).

I understand it to mean that in the section for comments, a statement to the effect that "I do not recommend this PNM for membership" is entered. Possibly other recommendation forms contain a box that can be checked off to indicate that you are not recommending the PNM. It would probably vary from chapter to chapter.

And... that's all I know!

gee_ess · #24 08-04-2010, 06:34 PM

FYI - Like so many other things in NPC Land, a no-rec is not a resource in every GLO.

DrPhil · #25 08-04-2010, 06:34 PM

"No rec" sounds like a nightmare. Isn't that bad form? It's like getting a letter of reference outside of Greekdom and the person completely fucks you over. Why'd you agree to write the letter if you'd tell the company or school that I suck? LOL.

ETA: Is a "no rec" the result of a PNM asking someone for a rec or does the member just do the "no rec" on their own because they know the PNM is going through recruitment?

AZTheta · #26 08-04-2010, 06:37 PM

^^^Exactly, Dr. Phil.

Which is why I don't agree to write letters or provide references for people that I cannot support.

However (devil's advocate voice), I suspect there are situations in which a no-recommendation letter needs to be written. (I mean, some people can look good on paper, but in reality, they are holy terrors.)

Drolefille · #27 08-04-2010, 06:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Psi U MC Vito

What exactly is a no rec? I heard the term before but aren't clear on what they are. Is it just saying "I would highly recommend that you not bid this person" or is it "You can not bid this person" if you get one?

The former.

33girl · #28 08-04-2010, 06:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DrPhil

ETA: Is a "no rec" the result of a PNM asking someone for a rec or does the member just do the "no rec" on their own because they know the PNM is going through recruitment?

I think that it's more likely that a member no-recs someone that she knows is a walking trainwreck and wants to head them off at the pass. The PNM has no clue the alum even knows she's going through rush.

carnation · #29 08-04-2010, 06:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AzTheta

However (devil's advocate voice), I suspect there are situations in which a no-recommendation letter needs to be written. (I mean, some people can look good on paper, but in reality, they are holy terrors.)

Yes. I have only written 2 in all these years but those girls were literally scary.

DrPhil · #30 08-04-2010, 07:03 PM

Thanks, ladies.

From an NPHC perspective, blackballing definitely happens since the aspirant process includes informal interactions and informal criteria at some level. There are people who get (A) blackballed for one sorority/fraternity and end up joining another, (B) blackballed even after undergrad so they can't join alumni/alumnae/grad chapters unless they move to another area, and (C) blackballed for EVERY sorority/fraternity on the campus. And it doesn't have to come from actives. Members who have graduated and who never attended the college or university can do it.

This can happen because of high school-based stuff or because people are from the same area. But, it tends to come from stuff that happens in college, or just not liking that person for some reason, since most of our members join after freshman year (although Delta and some other NPHCs don't forbid freshmen from joining if they qualify). Therefore, what happened in high school or who you knew from back home tends to matter less by the time you're a sophomore, etc. It can also happen because someone knows that person in another capacity, has heard something, or the aspirant has been talking trash or acting cocky.