Engaged Encounter

[AGDee]

While I agree with what KSUViolet said, people also need to understand that sometimes one partner lies their asses off during these sessions, makes all kinds of "promises" and then doesn't follow through on a single one of them once they are actually married.

[Drolefille]

Originally Posted by AGDee

While I agree with what KSUViolet said, people also need to understand that sometimes one partner lies their asses off during these sessions, makes all kinds of "promises" and then doesn't follow through on a single one of them once they are actually married.

True. If someone's going to do that though they'll do it no matter what. So all other things being equal, you at least improve your odds by seeking counseling?

[AGDee]

Originally Posted by Drolefille

True. If someone's going to do that though they'll do it no matter what. So all other things being equal, you at least improve your odds by seeking counseling?

I definitely agree the counseling should occur. I think it is important for all parties to be honest during that counseling is just the message I was trying to get across. Don't just say things that you think your partner wants to hear.

[groovypq]

Originally Posted by AGDee

While I agree with what KSUViolet said, people also need to understand that sometimes one partner lies their asses off during these sessions, makes all kinds of "promises" and then doesn't follow through on a single one of them once they are actually married.

*ding!*

Were you married to my ex, too?

[PeppyGPhiB]

Originally Posted by AGDee

While I agree with what KSUViolet said, people also need to understand that sometimes one partner lies their asses off during these sessions, makes all kinds of "promises" and then doesn't follow through on a single one of them once they are actually married.

One of the reasons why EE appealed to me was that the priest and hosts are not involved in the personal talks between the couples. They give a talk, then we separate to write, then the couples get back together and talk alone for a while. I have a feeling that if a third party was involved in our conversations, we wouldn't be as honest...I think we'd find a way to sugar coat things, or we'd keep quiet about some things because we just wouldn't want to talk about them with a stranger.

[ZetaGirl22]

DH and I got married in a Catholic church as well, and we had to do the premarital counseling. The options were the EE weekend, or this sponsorship program the parish had that was one day a week for 5 weeks. We opted for the latter. I found it to be really great too! Our "sponsor couple" was a couple who had been married 40 years and was "mixed faith" too. Our wedding was considered interfaith because even though DH was baptized Catholic, he was confirmed Lutheran. There was very little church rhetoric. It was all about communication and expectations (ie, what expectations of eachother are you bringing into the marriage and are you on the same page about that). We lived together before we got married, and our sponsor couple had too, so no judgements there either. We got along very well with them. Definitely something I would recommend to all engaged couples, even if you just go to a regular couples counselor.