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Thinking about this today:
Here is a scenario that I see a LOT. Family lives near a small or medium-sized college. Mom works with her sorority chapter there for years and years. Daughter rushes, say, in the SEC--maybe 1 state away--and gets cut by her legacy chapter. Mom and daughter are devastated. In this case, it's almost never that the daughter was cut because she was a bad fit or had low grades, etc.; it's that the chapter had tons of girls they had to cut and this girl was less "known" because she was an out of stater. She's probably stellar but so are hundreds of other girls.
Mom is in shock; she knew that legacies don't have an automatic 'in' but they're very strongly considered at the college whose chapter she helps and most of them get in. Only the obvious "no ways" are released. Her college's Panhellenic booklet has the same warning that daughter's school does but still, most legacies do get in their legacy chapter.
It takes both women awhile to get over this. This is not a "precious snowflake" situation but rather one in which there is shocked and understandable hurt.
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