Lavalier?

[FSUZeta]

would you give your boyfriend an engagement ring?

p.s. good reply in the linked thread MC.

[33girl]

Originally Posted by ΘΦΑlovesΣΝ

Does anyone know how common it is for a sorority girl to give her letters to her boyfriend? My boyfriend is in a fraternity, and he's thinking of lavaliering me, but I was wondering if there was something I could give him that would be the equivalent or similar.

The only time I've heard of a girl lavaliering her boyfriend is if he's not Greek.

[ΘΦΑlovesΣΝ]

Originally Posted by MysticCat

I know there have been discussions about it before. The one thread I could find was this one: QUESTION!!!.

Originally Posted by FSUZeta

would you give your boyfriend an engagement ring?

p.s. good reply in the linked thread MC.

Thanks for the link. I don't know if I would really want to give him a lavalier, specifically, but maybe a ring with his or my letters (if that's possible, and if he'd want it). He has told me that some of his alumni brothers have been given lavaliers by Alpha Sigma Alphas, though, so that's where I came up with this idea.

No, I wouldn't take it that far, but I was just thinking it'd be sweet if we each had something to show our connection to the other's fraternity/sorority.

[MysticCat]

Originally Posted by ΘΦΑlovesΣΝ

No, I wouldn't take it that far, but I was just thinking it'd be sweet if we each had something to show our connection to the other's fraternity/sorority.

I'm going to be frank and give you my thoughts on it: You don't have a connection to each other's fraternity or sorority. You each have a connection to your own fraternity or sorority. You have a connection to each other, and you have a connection (friendship) with members of each other's org, but unless you are a chapter sweetheart, you do not have a connection to Sigma Nu. (I'll be really frank and say it seems very odd to me to see someone use letters of an org they're not a member of in their screen name. Sorry.)

Pinning and lavaliering do not create a connection with a boyfriend's fraternity. It's simply a traditional way of indicating the seriousness of a relationship.

Full disclosure: My thoughts may be influenced by the fact that my fraternity does not allow non-members to wear our letters -- not even in the form of a lavalier.

And I still can't imagine a guy actually wearing a lavalier.

[aephi alum]

Originally Posted by FSUZeta

would you give your boyfriend an engagement ring?

p.s. good reply in the linked thread MC.

I did.

I'm having a hard time picturing a guy wearing a sorority lavalier. Most men I know just don't wear jewelry other than a watch, a wedding ring if appropriate, and maybe a class ring. My father wouldn't even wear a wedding ring until my mother gave him one as a 25th anniversary present.

Anyway, an AEPhi coudn't lavalier her boyfriend even if she wanted to - only initiated sisters are allowed to wear the Greek letters.

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by aephi alum

Only initiated sisters are allowed to wear the Greek letters.

Same for us. No Coat of Arms or badges either.

[SigmaNuHM659]

Originally Posted by MysticCat

I'm going to be frank and give you my thoughts on it: You don't have a connection to each other's fraternity or sorority. You each have a connection to your own fraternity or sorority. You have a connection to each other, and you have a connection (friendship) with members of each other's org, but unless you are a chapter sweetheart, you do not have a connection to Sigma Nu. (I'll be really frank and say it seems very odd to me to see someone use letters of an org they're not a member of in their screen name. Sorry.)

Pinning and lavaliering do not create a connection with a boyfriend's fraternity. It's simply a traditional way of indicating the seriousness of a relationship.

Full disclosure: My thoughts may be influenced by the fact that my fraternity does not allow non-members to wear our letters -- not even in the form of a lavalier.

And I still can't imagine a guy actually wearing a lavalier.

Don't speak for my chapter and say that she cannot have a connection to Sigma Nu. Also, other members of my chapter have been lavaliered and do wear their girlfriend's/ fiancé's/ wive's letters around their neck with pride. If your aren't a Sigma Nu, don't speak for us. I find it odd that someone whose fraternity has no traditions or customs for lavaliering can claim to know so much and even ridicule others about it.

I see nothing wrong with her using Sigma Nu in her screen name. She isn't claiming to be one. It is merely a gesture of affection and support.

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by SigmaNuHM659

Don't speak for my chapter and say that she cannot have a connection to Sigma Nu. Also, other members of my chapter have been lavaliered and do wear their girlfriend's/ fiancé's/ wive's letters around their neck with pride. If your aren't a Sigma Nu, don't speak for us. I find it odd that someone whose fraternity has no traditions or customs for lavaliering can claim to know so much and even ridicule others about it.

I see nothing wrong with her using Sigma Nu in her screen name. She isn't claiming to be one. It is merely a gesture of affection and support.

I fail to see where he attempted to speak for Sigma Nu here (that would be saaying "Sigma Nu does not allow...").

LOL @ the douchebagerry going on in this post. It's the interwebz. Serious business.

[Psi U MC Vito]

Originally Posted by SigmaNuHM659

Don't speak for my chapter and say that she cannot have a connection to Sigma Nu. Also, other members of my chapter have been lavaliered and do wear their girlfriend's/ fiancé's/ wive's letters around their neck with pride. If your aren't a Sigma Nu, don't speak for us. I find it odd that someone whose fraternity has no traditions or customs for lavaliering can claim to know so much and even ridicule others about it.

I see nothing wrong with her using Sigma Nu in her screen name. She isn't claiming to be one. It is merely a gesture of affection and support.

How did he ridicule lavaliers? Because he doesn't agree with them? She asked for an opinion and he gave it. And she doesn't have a connection to Sigma Nu. She has a connection to A Sigma Nu.

[SigmaNuHM659]

Fair enough. My apologies.

[MysticCat]

Sorry I missed your posts earlier. To clarify:

I am not attempting to speak for Sigma Nu. I'm just not familiar with any fraternity tradition where being lavaliered creates a connection with the fraternity, as opposed to symbolizing a connection with the members of the fraternity, and I have a fair degree of familiarity with the traditions of fraternities outside my own. But I'll gladly be educated otherwise.

I didn't ridicule anyone. Saying that I find it odd to include letters of an organization of which one is not a member in a screen name, and saying that I find it hard to imagine guys wearing lavaliers does not constitute ridiculing. Although to be honest, where I live, a guy wearing a lavalier stands a decent chance of being ridiculed. But not by me.

I never said my fraternity has no tradition of lavaliering. We did have a tradition of it, but we decided a few years back, as a fraternity, to end that tradition, at least with lavaliers of our letters.

BTW, since you're both in Flint, would I be correct in assuming you're her boyfriend?

[ΘΦΑlovesΣΝ]

Originally Posted by MysticCat

Sorry I missed your posts earlier. To clarify:

I am not attempting to speak for Sigma Nu. I'm just not familiar with any fraternity tradition where being lavaliered creates a connection with the fraternity, as opposed to symbolizing a connection with the members of the fraternity, and I have a fair degree of familiarity with the traditions of fraternities outside my own. But I'll gladly be educated otherwise.

I didn't ridicule anyone. Saying that I find it odd to include letters of an organization of which one is not a member in a screen name, and saying that I find it hard to imagine guys wearing lavaliers does not constitute ridiculing. Although to be honest, where I live, a guy wearing a lavalier stands a decent chance of being ridiculed. But not by me.

I never said my fraternity has no tradition of lavaliering. We did have a tradition of it, but we decided a few years back, as a fraternity, to end that tradition, at least with lavaliers of our letters.

BTW, since you're both in Flint, would I be correct in assuming you're her boyfriend?

Sorry for the late reply. Yes, he is my boyfriend. I think this conversation just went too far on an incorrect assumption; when I said that I wanted to see if there was a way for us to "show our connection to the other's fraternity/sorority", I merely meant that whatever we got would show our connection to each other, and, through that, our connection to their org. Not a direct connection. Also, since then, I have learned that 1. I am not able to give him anything with my letters on it (except the written-out words on an event T-shirt or something), so I can't lavalier him anyway, and 2. I am not "connected" to Sigma Nu or allowed to know any of their secrets until I am married to him. However, he just lavaliered me 4 days ago, so I guess I'm on that route.

As for the said ridiculing, I think it was just his overreaction to the way you said those things. He apologized.

Thanks for your thoughts and input. Seeing that you've made quite a lot of posts here on GC, I assume you must have a lot of experience and knowledge of Greek Life. Please be patient with those of us who have less.

[TSteven]

Originally Posted by ΘΦΑlovesΣΝ

I have learned that 1. I am not able to give him anything with my letters on it (except the written-out words on an event T-shirt or something), so I can't lavalier him anyway, and 2. I am not "connected" to Sigma Nu or allowed to know any of their secrets until I am married to him. However, he just lavaliered me 4 days ago, so I guess I'm on that route.

I am not a Sigma Nu, but I would guess that you are not suppose to know any of their secrets even after y'all are married.

[KSUViolet06]

LOL at the implication that the day I say "I do" I need to spill my sorority ritual to my new hubby.

[Alumiyum]

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

LOL at the implication that the day I say "I do" I need to spill my sorority ritual to my new hubby.

I will not be doing that. My mother is a Kappa Delta and even in discussions about ritual we never reveal secrets to each other. And she's my mom.