Living-in vs Living-out - Page 2

MUSK81 · #1 07-15-2010, 07:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by fantASTic

Oh, I
The idea that drinking in letters is inappropriate bothers me too, while I'm on this tangent...men do it. It's encouraged for them. But for us? Nope. Not allowed. It's a big deal! Why? Maybe we should be looking at the specific instances in which it is a big deal, many of which don't involve drinking, instead of just randomly banning it across all boards. Again - nothing wrong with a sorority woman wearing a lavalier having a drink with dinner. Yet that in itself is demonized?

We never had a problem with drinking in letters, but we were not allowed to drink while wearing our badges or anything with our coat-of-arms.

Pirouette · #2 07-08-2010, 11:44 PM

I lived in the Sigma Kappa house for 2 years (Sophomore and Junior) and wouldn't trade that experience for anything! It was so much fun! Also, it was easy to find a buddy for almost anything you wanted to do but were scared to do alone. Work-out, go to a sporting event, pull a prank on one of the fraternities...
Not to mention, if you ran into a question while doing homework, there was usually someone else a few rooms over who had taken the class already and could help.
But I ditto 33girl, have a friend outside of the chapter who is cool with you crashing with them, because when you live in the sorority house, you can't escape the sorority drama at home (this can be a HUGE life saver after elections).

aephi alum · #3 07-09-2010, 01:05 AM

My chapter didn't have a house while I was an undergrad, so I never had to make that choice. I lived in the dorms all 4 years of undergrad, then moved into married-student housing with my then-fiancé for my graduate year.

The dorms weren't actually all that different from apartment living. We had to vacuum our own rooms and dump our trash, although physical plant staff cleaned our bathrooms, kitchens, lounges, and hallways. The on-campus dining options were vomitrocious, so if you wanted halfway decent food, you had to cook for yourself - and that meant not just cooking but also doing dishes. (Fortunately, I'm a good cook, and my dorm had full kitchen facilities in every suite.)

Plus, I could keep a bottle of brandy or gin in my room and have the occasional drink, which I could not have done if I'd lived in a chapter house (no boozahol allowed in AEPhi houses even if you're of legal drinking age). And I could crash at the fiancé's place or have him crash at my place repercussion-free.

Given the choice, I don't think I would have chosen to live in-house.

Leslie Anne · #4 07-09-2010, 01:14 AM

I was a senior (with 2 years left) by the time I had a chance to live in the house. I chose not to and I've regretted it ever since. I missed out on so much!

MUSK81 · #5 07-10-2010, 09:57 AM

I lived in for 2 1/2 years and loved every minute of it, but my parents lived in town and I could go home whenever I wanted. I also had an off-campus job that gave me an escape from the drama (although a lot of times I was just exchanging one kind of drama for another.) I had a little more freedom than I had living at home, but my parents still kept tabs on me. Case in point - I had a very early dentist appointment one morning. I went to it, then stopped by the Lambda Chi house where my boyfriend lived. Later that morning, I got a call from my mom - "What was your car doing parked in back of the Lambda Chi house at 9:00 this morning?" I told her about the dentist appt. and she was like "Well, we were afraid you'd let so-and-so drive your car home." Yeah, right! I was in the clear that time, but it taught me to leave my car at the house when I wasn't going to be there!

PhoenixAzul · #6 07-10-2010, 10:41 AM

I never lived-in, but our house only had 5 bedrooms. I did spend a lot of time at the house, just hanging out and cooking dinner, but for me, it would have been not so good for my studying. I'm a bit of a monastic when it comes to studying...in grad school and in undergrad I had to lock myself in my room to work and I wouldn't come out. I had to cut myself off from all distractions (unplugging the internet and my phone) to get quality studying done.

Also, as a studio art student, I had to spend some ridiculous hours in the art building, which made me not a good housemate. While I wasn't coming home drunk at 2 am, I was stumbling around with a massive portfolio and a huge camera bag.

I lived in dorms my first two years, also when I lived in Ireland, then in suites my last year, then in dorms during the first 3/4 of grad school and then in an apartment with a friend. Out of all of those situations (which were a struggle in all sorts of ways), the worst was the grad apartment with a "friend". We are no longer so.

ADPiKT · #7 07-14-2010, 02:33 PM

Gosh I'm so jealous of those that actually had a house! My university only recently allowed the construction of sorority houses (not to be lived in), and they will not be completed for several years. I will be rooming with a few of my sisters this year in off campus apts, but I really think I missed out on bonding with some of my other sisters!

Lady Pi · #8 07-14-2010, 02:58 PM

I'm living in the house for the first time this coming academic year. I am so excited!!! Getting on the list to live in the house is pretty competitive in my chapter, almost everyone wants to live in. Mainly sophomores and juniors though, seniors tend to live off campus unless they have an important office. Our house has strict rules about drinking and boys so I guess they want some freedom their last year.

KSUViolet06 · #9 07-14-2010, 03:01 PM

A little late to this one.

I lived-in during my last year.

I had always lived in a single suite on campus, so I was a little reluctant to give that up.

I was so glad I did. My house roomie is one of my closest friends now.

I also appeciated being able to throw on meeting clothes at 6:50 and walk downstairs for 7:00 pm chapter meeting.

THe whole no drinking thing was no big deal to me just because I had friends with apartments. And there were bars.

AGDee · #10 07-14-2010, 04:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PiPhiERDoc

Rules about men not being in the house also have some very practical safety reasons behind them.

If you live in a chapter house that holds 50+ women, good chance that you will not know everyone's male friends/boyfriends ect. So you will think nothing about some random guy wandering the halls, right? And what happens if that guy is actually NOT a guest, but has broken into the house with the intent of assaulting a woman?

This has happened at many campuses, including a series of sexual assaults that happened at Washington State University exactly because of this scenerio, ie women not complying with their man-hour rules, women in the house becoming used to seeing random guys around, and not being able to recognize someone who shouldn't have been there until their sister was assaulted.

There are also all kinds of theft and property damage issues...plus insurance premiums...

We didn't have houses at my school and I know that if we did, I probably wouldn't have lived in because of the extra rules. However, I totally understand the NEED for those rules simply by living in an apartment with two other women, one of whom brought home random guys all the time. It was really a nightmare. You get up in the middle of the night to use the restroom, maybe in just a t-shirt and dash out of your room to find random guy sitting on the couch.. ugh. It sucked. We all had our own bedrooms but we shared common space too. Where would the men go to the bathroom if they stayed over night? There are just so many issues with it. Sure, I had the same boyfriend from the beginning of my sophomore year until I graduated and everybody knew him. Totally not the case when there are 60 women in a house.

As for the alcohol one, it's all about the risk management insurance.

fantASTic · #11 07-14-2010, 07:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AGDee

We didn't have houses at my school and I know that if we did, I probably wouldn't have lived in because of the extra rules. However, I totally understand the NEED for those rules simply by living in an apartment with two other women, one of whom brought home random guys all the time. It was really a nightmare. You get up in the middle of the night to use the restroom, maybe in just a t-shirt and dash out of your room to find random guy sitting on the couch.. ugh. It sucked. We all had our own bedrooms but we shared common space too. Where would the men go to the bathroom if they stayed over night? There are just so many issues with it. Sure, I had the same boyfriend from the beginning of my sophomore year until I graduated and everybody knew him. Totally not the case when there are 60 women in a house.

As for the alcohol one, it's all about the risk management insurance.

As I mentioned (I think), the boys in the house thing probably depends on the living arrangements...but I really still don't see anything wrong with the "work it out with the roommates" situation. Sounds like YOUR roommate was just a jerk

As for the insurance...I'm sorry, but I just don't buy that. If that was the case, NPC wouldn't insist that we all had the same rule. Chapters would be able to decide to pay the extra insurance. That's not how it is, and that doesn't add up for me.

Drolefille · #12 07-14-2010, 08:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by fantASTic

As I mentioned (I think), the boys in the house thing probably depends on the living arrangements...but I really still don't see anything wrong with the "work it out with the roommates" situation. Sounds like YOUR roommate was just a jerk

As for the insurance...I'm sorry, but I just don't buy that. If that was the case, NPC wouldn't insist that we all had the same rule. Chapters would be able to decide to pay the extra insurance. That's not how it is, and that doesn't add up for me.

Well whether they have the "dormers" or individual rooms, you end up having to work it out with 50 other girls, not just the one.

And as for the alcohol, the members of the NPC voted on it, there isn't really an outside entity insisting, there's the group of them agreeing. You can argue whether or not that's patronizing to women or not, but it was women who voted that rule into place either way. There are also a decent number of campuses that are dry even for 21 year olds. So .. i don't know where i fall on that except that it's perfectly possible for members to drink elsewhere.

fantASTic · #13 07-14-2010, 08:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Drolefille

Well whether they have the "dormers" or individual rooms, you end up having to work it out with 50 other girls, not just the one.

And as for the alcohol, the members of the NPC voted on it, there isn't really an outside entity insisting, there's the group of them agreeing. You can argue whether or not that's patronizing to women or not, but it was women who voted that rule into place either way. There are also a decent number of campuses that are dry even for 21 year olds. So .. i don't know where i fall on that except that it's perfectly possible for members to drink elsewhere.

Sure...people who are graduated and probably middle-aged voted on it. Not collegiates - who actually LIVE in the house.

KSUViolet06 · #14 07-14-2010, 11:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Drolefille

So .. i don't know where i fall on that except that it's perfectly possible for members to drink elsewhere.

This was my general opinion.

My campus allowed students to drink in campus housing if they were 21+. There were also several girls living in apts. So it just wasn't that big of a deal to me that I couldn't drink in the sorority house (even though I was 21) because there were other places for me to do that.

It also seemed kind of lame to be trying to sneak and do it, when I could just go 5 minutes to an apt. and do it freely. My membership at that point was also not worth me wanting a smirnoff that badly. lol.

Lady Pi · #15 07-15-2010, 01:45 PM

We are not allowed to drink or smoke cigarettes in anything that identifies us as Greek at my chapter. No letters, crest, lavaliers, the words "alpha delta pi" spelled out, organization nicknames, ANYTHING. Personally, I like it this way, especially around Recruitment.

Yes, Frat guys get to do it, but they get to do a lot of things that we don't. It's not a big deal to me, Fraternities and Sororities are very different, and thank goodness!

I do think that it's silly that you can't even cook with wine in the house, or have a hard cider on movie night, but it's either all or nothing, the rules would be too hard to enforce if drinking was okay "sometimes".