Living-in vs Living-out

[AGDee]

Originally Posted by PiPhiERDoc

Rules about men not being in the house also have some very practical safety reasons behind them.

If you live in a chapter house that holds 50+ women, good chance that you will not know everyone's male friends/boyfriends ect. So you will think nothing about some random guy wandering the halls, right? And what happens if that guy is actually NOT a guest, but has broken into the house with the intent of assaulting a woman?

This has happened at many campuses, including a series of sexual assaults that happened at Washington State University exactly because of this scenerio, ie women not complying with their man-hour rules, women in the house becoming used to seeing random guys around, and not being able to recognize someone who shouldn't have been there until their sister was assaulted.

There are also all kinds of theft and property damage issues...plus insurance premiums...

We didn't have houses at my school and I know that if we did, I probably wouldn't have lived in because of the extra rules. However, I totally understand the NEED for those rules simply by living in an apartment with two other women, one of whom brought home random guys all the time. It was really a nightmare. You get up in the middle of the night to use the restroom, maybe in just a t-shirt and dash out of your room to find random guy sitting on the couch.. ugh. It sucked. We all had our own bedrooms but we shared common space too. Where would the men go to the bathroom if they stayed over night? There are just so many issues with it. Sure, I had the same boyfriend from the beginning of my sophomore year until I graduated and everybody knew him. Totally not the case when there are 60 women in a house.

As for the alcohol one, it's all about the risk management insurance.

[fantASTic]

Originally Posted by AGDee

We didn't have houses at my school and I know that if we did, I probably wouldn't have lived in because of the extra rules. However, I totally understand the NEED for those rules simply by living in an apartment with two other women, one of whom brought home random guys all the time. It was really a nightmare. You get up in the middle of the night to use the restroom, maybe in just a t-shirt and dash out of your room to find random guy sitting on the couch.. ugh. It sucked. We all had our own bedrooms but we shared common space too. Where would the men go to the bathroom if they stayed over night? There are just so many issues with it. Sure, I had the same boyfriend from the beginning of my sophomore year until I graduated and everybody knew him. Totally not the case when there are 60 women in a house.

As for the alcohol one, it's all about the risk management insurance.

As I mentioned (I think), the boys in the house thing probably depends on the living arrangements...but I really still don't see anything wrong with the "work it out with the roommates" situation. Sounds like YOUR roommate was just a jerk

As for the insurance...I'm sorry, but I just don't buy that. If that was the case, NPC wouldn't insist that we all had the same rule. Chapters would be able to decide to pay the extra insurance. That's not how it is, and that doesn't add up for me.

[Drolefille]

Originally Posted by fantASTic

As I mentioned (I think), the boys in the house thing probably depends on the living arrangements...but I really still don't see anything wrong with the "work it out with the roommates" situation. Sounds like YOUR roommate was just a jerk

As for the insurance...I'm sorry, but I just don't buy that. If that was the case, NPC wouldn't insist that we all had the same rule. Chapters would be able to decide to pay the extra insurance. That's not how it is, and that doesn't add up for me.

Well whether they have the "dormers" or individual rooms, you end up having to work it out with 50 other girls, not just the one.

And as for the alcohol, the members of the NPC voted on it, there isn't really an outside entity insisting, there's the group of them agreeing. You can argue whether or not that's patronizing to women or not, but it was women who voted that rule into place either way. There are also a decent number of campuses that are dry even for 21 year olds. So .. i don't know where i fall on that except that it's perfectly possible for members to drink elsewhere.

[fantASTic]

Originally Posted by Drolefille

Well whether they have the "dormers" or individual rooms, you end up having to work it out with 50 other girls, not just the one.

And as for the alcohol, the members of the NPC voted on it, there isn't really an outside entity insisting, there's the group of them agreeing. You can argue whether or not that's patronizing to women or not, but it was women who voted that rule into place either way. There are also a decent number of campuses that are dry even for 21 year olds. So .. i don't know where i fall on that except that it's perfectly possible for members to drink elsewhere.

Sure...people who are graduated and probably middle-aged voted on it. Not collegiates - who actually LIVE in the house.

[Drolefille]

Originally Posted by fantASTic

Sure...people who are graduated and probably middle-aged voted on it. Not collegiates - who actually LIVE in the house.

Yeah but that's pretty standard for college in general.

I'm sure i'm biased as a non-drinker but i don't see why it matters in the end. And even on a 'wet' campus, a 21 year old living with a 20 year old would have to keep alcohol separate. There's not usually minifridges in sorority houses (In my experience) nor any way to be sure it's kept from underage women. And we KNOW it wouldn't be.

[33girl]

Originally Posted by fantASTic

As for the insurance...I'm sorry, but I just don't buy that. If that was the case, NPC wouldn't insist that we all had the same rule. Chapters would be able to decide to pay the extra insurance. That's not how it is, and that doesn't add up for me.

Originally Posted by Drolefille

And as for the alcohol, the members of the NPC voted on it, there isn't really an outside entity insisting, there's the group of them agreeing.

The alcohol free housing policy is not an NPC policy - each group has its own policy (which all happen to say pretty much the same thing). Ditto the housing thing. Gotta love peer pressure and forcing by the insurance companies. The groups obviously don't agree on this issue - or they would have all had the same policy when it came to mixers.

[Drolefille]

Originally Posted by 33girl

The alcohol free housing policy is not an NPC policy - each group has its own policy (which all happen to say pretty much the same thing). Ditto the housing thing. Gotta love peer pressure and forcing by the insurance companies. The groups obviously don't agree on this issue - or they would have all had the same policy when it came to mixers.

Actually it's in the NPC Standards booklet on the website.

http://www.npcwomen.org/resources/pd...ds_booklet.pdf

[greekmomjo]

Living in the house for soph--sr year was a privilege I now appreciate more than I did then. There are plenty of other places to drink--that is a non-issue for me. And how nice was it to hang out in pjs and not have to worry about men?
My chapter did a study about the cost of living in vs. apt living and it was cheaper to live in the house (IF you ate many of your meals at the house--since food costs are included in housebill). Why the rush to clean your own toilet and hassle with the one deadbeat roommie who won't pay her share of the cable bill?

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by Drolefille

So .. i don't know where i fall on that except that it's perfectly possible for members to drink elsewhere.

This was my general opinion.

My campus allowed students to drink in campus housing if they were 21+. There were also several girls living in apts. So it just wasn't that big of a deal to me that I couldn't drink in the sorority house (even though I was 21) because there were other places for me to do that.

It also seemed kind of lame to be trying to sneak and do it, when I could just go 5 minutes to an apt. and do it freely. My membership at that point was also not worth me wanting a smirnoff that badly. lol.

[fantASTic]

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

This was my general opinion.

My campus allowed students to drink in campus housing if they were 21+. There were also several girls living in apts. So it just wasn't that big of a deal to me that I couldn't drink in the sorority house (even though I was 21) because there were other places for me to do that.

It also seemed kind of lame to be trying to sneak and do it, when I could just go 5 minutes to an apt. and do it freely. My membership at that point was also not worth me wanting a smirnoff that badly. lol.

Yeah yeah...as I said, this really is the Angry Feminist in me talking.

Realistically, though...that only works when you're actually drinking to get drunk. The stuff I was talking about above was social drinking - wine with dinner, a nightcap with a roomie. Not drinking to get drunk - drinking for pleasantries afforded adults in our society.