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If they're both in the same fraternity it would make more sense to just get a promise ring, wouldn't it?
It seems to me that lavaliering varies campus to campus, but on mine it was pre-engagement. You expected an engagement to follow shortly when someone was lavaliered, and yes, it meant you trusted the person with your letters. (Which makes this couple's lavaliering kind of not applicable since they're both brothers in the same fraternity). I've never heard of the two organizations participating together, and the fraternities on our campus all have different tradition when it comes to the brothers doing the lavaliering. The girl who received it usually went through a candlelighting with her sorority. (I have never personally encountered an independent that got lavaliered or two individuals in the same organization lavaliering each other.).
Maybe he could buy his boyfriend a promise ring instead and the fraternity could have a manly version of a candlelighting to celebrate...or he could surprise his boyfriend with a promise ring AT a candlelighting sort of ceremony. That would involve the chapter being supportive, would be sweet, and would be a more meaningful symbol, IMO.
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