LXA Lavalier Question

decadence · #1 05-14-2004, 10:40 AM

Hi,

I'm asking this question to you all, on behalf of someone else. Presently some GC users are not receiving email notifications as emails are not all being sent out. This also means some people trying to join GC don't receive their verification email so can't validate their account in order to post. I've PM'd John and am sure he will sort things out in due course when he gets a chance.

In the meantime, I'm asking this request as a favor for someone who mentioned on another site (LiveJournal) that they can't post here; because of this. I shall pass on all responses to her. Thank you.

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The young woman's late mother was dating a Lambda Chi Alpha before she and her dad married. She now has her late mother's LXA 'charm' to wear. Her mother called them her "Lambie Pies".

It was pointed out to the young woman on this other website, it was known as a lavalier and that her wearing it might cause offence.

She replied "My mother is since deceased, and I wear it in her memory, though the last thing I want to do is to offend anyone. She was very special to the LXA who earned the letters, and the man must have been heartbroken when their relationship ceased. Anyway, I have since removed the lavalier and will keep it in my box. Thank you once again."

I agreed to direct the question for her just as a favor to this forum as I can post myself. In her words:

Simply, my LXA question is this:

Given that my mother was "lavaliered" by a LXA brother, and she is now
deceased, will I be able to wear the lavaliere in her honor/memory (as
her oldest daughter) without offending anyone?

JonoBN41 · #2 05-14-2004, 04:16 PM

I'm glad you mentioned the e-mail notifications. I was wondering why I wasn't receiving any. Now at least I know I'm not the only one.

Regarding your question, I'm no expert on this but I know it would be wrong to wear it if it's an official badge - even if it's on a chain, which it shouldn't be anyway. If it's just monogram letters, I don't think there would be any problem with that.

Now someone will come along and tell me I'm completely wrong.

Jono

Tom Earp · #3 05-14-2004, 04:35 PM

Jono, I did PM decadence about this.

I was waiting to see what other Brothers thought.

It seems that it is someone wearing letters of an organization when there is not any reason for them to be wearing them strictly for the fact that there is no relationship.

I know that there was a very big and on going thread on the boards somewhere.

I can understand her thinking though.

I am not sure what is the Policy of International on this. Can anyone give a little more insight?

SGill4613 · #4 05-14-2004, 09:27 PM

Personally, I can't see a reason wrong with it. All I would encourage her to do is to try and find out about the brother who gave it to her mother. Also, she ought to research what qualities Lambda Chi Alpha is meant to bring out in a man. If she does that and likes what she finds, I don't see any reason why she shouldn't be allowed to wear the letters.

I love walking by a girl who a brother feels is special enough to do this to. To me, Lambda Chi is ageless. I hope someday to, if I have a son, have him become a Lambda Chi. I don't see why this can't be passed on from mother to daughter.

The mother liked us very much and there should be no problem if her daughter does too.

lifesaver · #5 05-16-2004, 04:19 AM

I honestly dont care what policy is.

If it makes her feel special, and close to her mom, and LXA can facilitate that in some way... great , I'm all for it. I think a lot of guys would agree.

My 2 cents.

MattJackson5 · #6 05-18-2004, 03:41 AM

I have to say that it doesn't bother me any that the girl wants to wear the lavalier that a brother gave to her mother. I think it's great that someone holds her mother's lavalier in such high esteem because obviously her mother did. With all that said, it's ok by me and I'm sure it would be ok with many more.

--Matt

Ottor 246 · #7 05-18-2004, 07:46 AM

One universal rule of modern life: No matter what you do, it's sure to offend someone. (Especially since so many people are looking for reasons to be offended.)

It is my understanding that our general fraternity does not recognize "lavaliering." That being the case, the lavalier has no more significance than wearing our letters on a sweatshirt or anywhere else.

As was stated earlier, if it were our brotherhood pin, I might say no, but I've seen girls wearing our letters for a lot less credible or noble reasons.

I would, however, advise this young lady, for her own sake, to read up on Lambda Chi Alpha, and to talk to some brothers about what our fraternity is. After all, wearing our letters is a de facto endorsement of us, and she should be aware of what she is endorsing.

Ottor

justaflaneur · #8 05-18-2004, 10:06 PM

GreekChat Brothers,

There is no reference to a lavalier in the Constitution or the Statutory Code, and no policy (official or otherwise) that would preclude this young lady from wearing it.

In ZAX,

Lynn Chipperfield
Grand High Pi

RACooper · #9 05-18-2004, 11:31 PM

So true Brother Chipperfield,

There is really no definite prohibition against her (or for that matter anyone other than expelled members) wearing the letters.... only a hope that the letters will be displayed in a tasteful manner.

We have many ways to honour the women that we love or respect (although Mason had some "interesting" views about them); thats why a fiance, wife, mother or sister can wear a minature version of our badge (although I do wonder why daughters were left out).

I think its great that she values this lavalier so much because of the memories and feelings she and her mother associated with it....