Boyfriend Question (please help) - Page 5

Munchkin03 · #61 05-28-2010, 11:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

Harsh, but whatever:

You kind of fail at life for having to ask this. Seriously? If you really aren't sure whether or not to stay with a guy who BROKE INTO YOUR PLACE, I dunno what to tell you.

I don't care how nice he is sometimes, or that he already purchased a ring for you, or whatever.

It's very, very easy to say this if you haven't been in an abusive, or even borderline-abusive, relationship. I think some of the women who have opened up about their experiences in this thread would say the same thing. These men are master manipulators, and do far greater damage to your self-esteem before they make the first physical blow.

CopterDad, a LOT of us on GC are friends on Facebook, Twitter, and LJ in addition to the fact that a lot of people are from the same schools and regions. The Greek world has always been a small world, and sites like this make it that much smaller. The poster's decision to remain anonymous is an extremely smart one.

AGDee · #62 05-28-2010, 11:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CopterDad

I admire all of the ladies on this board that have opened up their past in order to help you.

That you felt the need to create a sock puppet to hide your regular screen name, not so much.

Now, take the advice and fix yourself. Like I and others have said, get legal advice on this one.

I think this is the PERFECT situation to use a sock puppet. I would think that an ex would know the user's real screen name and could search for posts by that person. This is one situation where a hidden identity is important.

ThetaDancer · #63 05-28-2010, 11:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Munchkin03

It's very, very easy to say this if you haven't been in an abusive, or even borderline-abusive, relationship. I think some of the women who have opened up about their experiences in this thread would say the same thing. These men are master manipulators, and do far greater damage to your self-esteem before they make the first physical blow.

CopterDad, a LOT of us on GC are friends on Facebook, Twitter, and LJ in addition to the fact that a lot of people are from the same schools and regions. The Greek world has always been a small world, and sites like this make it that much smaller. The poster's decision to remain anonymous is an extremely smart one.

Extremely well said.

CopterDad · #64 05-28-2010, 11:40 AM

I see that I was extremely shortsighted on this issue. I would want my daughter to get this type of support from y'all in this way as well.

MysticCat · #65 05-28-2010, 11:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AOII Angel

You don't have to justify your decisions to anyone. I think that your decision is very respectful of the parties involved.

This. And I'd suggest that luvdrunk and you delete the explanation. Even that is too much information for anyone who might be familiar with the situation.

AOII Angel · #66 05-28-2010, 11:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MysticCat

This. And I'd suggest that luvdrunk and you delete the explanation. Even that is too much information for anyone who might be familiar with the situation.

Will do, Chief Justice Mystic Cat.

luvdrunk · #67 05-28-2010, 12:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MysticCat

This. And I'd suggest that luvdrunk and you delete the explanation. Even that is too much information for anyone who might be familiar with the situation.

Done!

I realized that after I posted it that I shouldn't justify myself. I remember in counseling sessions I would always try to justify/rationalize everything. My counselor also told me that not everything needs to be (ex: in this case my ex’s behaviors are not my fault nothing I could think of can justify/rationalize that).

Thanks for all the prayers and support. My first cousins (of which there are 12 on one side!) have been greatly supportive as well. They did an amzing job distracting me and letting me vent. I'm an only child so it feels like I have 11 (long story) great siblings!

I hope that if another young lady goes through the same situation I have gone through (am going through) she has the support and prayers of friends, family, sisters, and random people just like I have. It's almost impossible to break free on your own unless you have someone to tell you that it'll be OK, this person isn't worth it, they aren't going to change etc. I didn't know HOW to start to break it off, I came and asked and was helped greatly!
Thanks,

LD

AZTheta · #68 05-28-2010, 02:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MysticCat

This. And I'd suggest that luvdrunk and you delete the explanation. Even that is too much information for anyone who might be familiar with the situation.

MysticCat, I am asking (since you are the SCJOGC)... would it be prudent to delete other details/information as well? Many of the replies had quotes as well...

Or should the thread move to never-never land?

I'm ever-vigilant, and I'm cautious. Maybe too much so, but it's kept me out of harm's way.

DrPhil · #69 05-28-2010, 04:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CopterDad

I see that I was extremely shortsighted on this issue. I would want my daughter to get this type of support from y'all in this way as well.

I hope you would prefer your daughter have "real life" people from whom to get advice and support. I wouldn't want my daughter to come to Greekchat (and create a sock puppet) for advice and support.

You all shared some touching stories and confirmed what the OP knew she should be doing. What next? More posts from luvdrunk as this becomes the official Luvdrunk's Life thread? Yikes.

DrPhil · #70 05-28-2010, 04:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AzTheta

I do not want the OP to think that she cannot seek help because she will be shamed/blamed/scorned/ridiculed/judged. She started in a venue that she felt comfortable in, and she's making progress, and I wish her the best.

I will say what I said when there was a thread in, I believe, the Delta Sigma Theta forum about a very personal situation:

Greekchat is not the place. People need to think long and hard before they turn Greekchat into a place where people can come for certain discussions.

Drolefille · #71 05-28-2010, 04:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DrPhil

What next? More posts from luvdrunk as this becomes the official Luvdrunk's Life thread? Yikes.

No, probably just someone who comes in to create a meta-discussion after the fact.

DrPhil · #72 05-28-2010, 04:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Drolefille

No, probably just someone who comes in to create a meta-discussion after the fact.

As long as this doesn't become the Luvdrunk's Life thread.

CopterDad · #73 05-28-2010, 04:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DrPhil

I hope you would prefer your daughter have "real life" people from whom to get advice and support. I wouldn't want my daughter to come to Greekchat (and create a sock puppet) for advice and support. snip.

True. Yet, the OP's real life support failed. If this device works for her, so be it.

DrPhil · #74 05-28-2010, 04:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CopterDad

True. Yet, the OP's real life support failed. If this device works for her, so be it.

Congrats to her, but I hope Greekchat doesn't become the place of refuge. That's way too much responsibility for a message board.

AOII Angel · #75 05-28-2010, 04:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DrPhil

Congrats to her, but I hope Greekchat doesn't become the place of refuge. That's way too much responsibility for a message board.

I totally agree, yet so many women have support systems that fail them in these cases. It's sad that too many people blow off these warning signs.