Dating/Friends With Introverted Guy

[BluPhire]

Being an introvert myself (a true introvert) a lot of people that use (and especially the ones I'm reading here) are not the true definition of introversion. We are not shy, and we definitely aren't against talking to people or groups. It pretty much boils down to if we had a choice we find pleasure in doing things on our own instead of always kicking it with a group.

I still kicked it with my frat brothers, but I call very few friend...even fewer close friend. But those that I call friend, you would think I was the most extroverted person in the room. At the end of the day though, I felt it was more my "duty" in the frat to make appearances (small chapter) until we got larger and more frat brothers became the face of the org.

My wife didn't understand me at first because she took my introversion as shyness. She didn't realize I like to choose my words around people, especially people I don't know, because well i don't know them...and I could care less what people thought of me. It caused controversy...but then as she got to know me (and compared me to other family members who are very extroverted) she respected that I don't try to quickly take over a room. Helps keep foot in mouth disease at bay. She knows that when I do speak to people it is out of an obligation to being cordial. I could careless about making friendship with you when I first meet you. Now if you got a shy person who can't even communicate their feelings, that's not introversion...that's somebody that is socially inept.

Originally Posted by BluPhire

Being an introvert myself (a true introvert) a lot of people that use (and especially the ones I'm reading here) are not the true definition of introversion. We are not shy, and we definitely aren't against talking to people or groups. It pretty much boils down to if we had a choice we find pleasure in doing things on our own instead of always kicking it with a group.

I still kicked it with my frat brothers, but I call very few friend...even fewer close friend. But those that I call friend, you would think I was the most extroverted person in the room. At the end of the day though, I felt it was more my "duty" in the frat to make appearances (small chapter) until we got larger and more frat brothers became the face of the org.

My wife didn't understand me at first because she took my introversion as shyness. She didn't realize I like to choose my words around people, especially people I don't know, because well i don't know them...and I could care less what people thought of me. It caused controversy...but then as she got to know me (and compared me to other family members who are very extroverted) she respected that I don't try to quickly take over a room. Helps keep foot in mouth disease at bay. She knows that when I do speak to people it is out of an obligation to being cordial. I could careless about making friendship with you when I first meet you. Now if you got a shy person who can't even communicate their feelings, that's not introversion...that's somebody that is socially inept.

Yes well that's all fine and dandy. But when was it your turn to finally tell/show her that you loved her? I mean she had her patience with you, and this is a wonderful experience thank you for sharing, but if an introvert was careful around people at first and careless about friendship then when is it ok for them to express? Ever? How and when did you final make a move and pass that introverted transition? Because if a relationship is only a one way street, no matter how much patience the other person has, that introverted person will never express anything if that is his/her nature.

[BluPhire]

Originally Posted by yougc

Yes well that's all fine and dandy. But when was it your turn to finally tell/show her that you loved her? I mean she had her patience with you, and this is a wonderful experience thank you for sharing, but if an introvert was careful around people at first and careless about friendship then when is it ok for them to express? Ever? How and when did you final make a move and pass that introverted transition? Because if a relationship is only a one way street, no matter how much patience the other person has, that introverted person will never express anything if that is his/her nature.

You missed the point. We have no problem showing love. Introverted =\= (does not equal) don't know how to show your spouse how you feel about them. What you are describing is somebody with social issues, possibly somebody who hates confrontation. Introverts have no problem telling somebody about themselves, especially if they have an issue with that person.

[DrPhil]

Originally Posted by BluPhire

You missed the point. We have no problem showing love. Introverted =\= (does not equal) don't know how to show your spouse how you feel about them. What you are describing is somebody with social issues, possibly somebody who hates confrontation. Introverts have no problem telling somebody about themselves, especially if they have an issue with that person.

Yeah, we told the troll this. LOL.

[BluPhire]

Originally Posted by DrPhil

Yeah, we told the troll this. LOL.

I was bored.

I needed a center of attention moment. LOL

So what if the person makes time for the introverted person, but the introverted person has other things more occupying and doesn't spend the time? Would that indicate no interest or just an introverted behavior?

[Drolefille]

Originally Posted by yougc

So what if the person makes time for the introverted person, but the introverted person has other things more occupying and doesn't spend the time? Would that indicate no interest or just an introverted behavior?

He's just not that into you.