To Wait or Not To Wait: That is the Question - Page 6

Todd Bridges · #76 05-07-2010, 06:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AGDee

Seems like you could do that sort of thing without even telling people, which is probably what I'd do in that situation. At this point, the only reason I'd ever get married is health insurance so I don't think I'd even tell people I got married if I did.

That doesn't make any sense. Health insurance? So you would use the dude for health insurance?

AGDee · #77 05-07-2010, 07:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Todd Bridges

That doesn't make any sense. Health insurance? So you would use the dude for health insurance?

LOL. Interesting way to put it. No, I wouldn't "use" the dude for health insurance. I would like a life partner but I don't want to marry again. I might consider living with someone. If I was in a long term partnership and one of us were laid off or lost health insurance for one reason or another, and the only way that the other one could get it was to get married, I would marry him. To me, that is the only advantage of marrying after age 45 when you've already raised your family. I can see no other reason to enter into that legal contract. Does that make more sense?

Thetagirl218 · #78 05-07-2010, 09:08 AM

I been to weddings that were extravagant....i.e. full course meals with fancy stuff, open bar, at a premium venue that sort of thing. I love being a guest at those weddings, but never ever would I be able to afford something like that.

I have also been to weddings that have a nice little ceremony in their local church and then use the fellowship hall for the reception. Most of these are usually potluck, but one I just attended had a restaurant quality meal that had been donated (The couple was in ministry at the church).

I want a happy balance between the two. While I love shows like Say Yes to the Dress, I can't not fathom spending that much money on a single piece of clothing.

honeychile · #79 05-08-2010, 01:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Thetagirl218

While I love shows like Say Yes to the Dress, I can't not fathom spending that much money on a single piece of clothing....

...That you'll only wear once.

When you really look at the whole concept, it's obscene. No wonder so many people outside of our culture think we're out of control.

VandalSquirrel · #80 05-08-2010, 01:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by honeychile

...That you'll only wear once.

When you really look at the whole concept, it's obscene. No wonder so many people outside of our culture think we're out of control.

I've worn my sister's wedding dress for ritual/initiation more times than she ever wore it. My membership has also lasted longer than that marriage did

Psi U MC Vito · #81 05-08-2010, 11:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by VandalSquirrel

I've worn my sister's wedding dress for ritual/initiation more times than she ever wore it. My membership has also lasted longer than that marriage did

I actually remember reading that a wedding gone used to not be such a big deal. Women would just wear their favorite dress, or have a new one made, but with the intent of wearing it multiple times.

Psi U MC Vito · #82 05-09-2010, 01:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hockey Dad

I think you've really been pretty screwed up by that hockey douche and your previous marriage. I get the whole "I'm afraid of marriage" type of thing, but you really gotta get out of that mode unless you just want to have fun. Who said you had to even get serious with anyone?

Some people prefer serious relationships. A lot of people can't do casual relationships, especially above a certain age.

AGDee · #83 05-09-2010, 01:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hockey Dad

Yeah, but she's saying she doesn't want to get married. Some dudes would get tired of that shit and want more. Most people are doing the casual thing now, so why marry, or get serious. I think it causes more problems if anything. Especially in her case.

I decided the day I asked for a divorce that I would never marry again. What is the point in marrying after you've already raised your family? Why deal with all the financial crap, community property, etc.? Besides, I've been divorced twice. Obviously, I didn't follow through on those vows the first two times, why in the world would anybody, including myself, believe that I would keep those vows a third time? Yes, I want a long term, steady partner. No, I don't want to have to jump through a million legal hoops, pay attorneys a bunch of money and end up broke when I want to leave him. And no, I can't engage in physical intimacy without emotional intimacy. Those are my life choices. If there is a "Mr. Right" in this world for me, then he will accept that. If not, then so be it. It may very well be the reason that Hockey Dad left. I know it's the reason that at least two other relationships didn't work out and that's fine with me if that's the case. I do know that I cannot and will not promise "til death do us part" when I don't mean it.

I've said it a million times before.. I'd rather be alone than be with the wrong person. I'm fine with being alone and I'd be fine if I found someone who thinks like I do. Either way, it's fine. It doesn't mean I'll stop looking around to see if that person exists, but it doesn't mean I'll sit around and mope if he doesn't. You seem more upset at the idea of me being alone than I am..lol.

AGDee · #84 05-09-2010, 02:55 AM

I said I can't promise "Til death do us part" and be taken seriously because I've broken those vows twice. I know exactly what I want, but you don't understand that two people can be together in a committed relationship without the legal ties of marriage.

I am NOT pissed off about being alone. I don't know where you're getting that from at all. I said I would rather be alone than be with the right person. I have a happy, fun, fulfilling life and don't need a relationship to make my life complete. It doesn't mean that I wouldn't welcome one with someone who fit what I'd want in a partner. Do you get that a person can be happy alone AND happy in a relationship if one came along?

Marriage is just a legal thing. It doesn't have anything to do with commitment or caring or love, in my eyes. It's just a legal contract. I know a lot of people who have been together for 10 or 15 years without getting married and I think that's great at this age.

ETA: And why are you so hung up on Hockey Dad? I've been over that for a couple months now.

DrPhil · #85 05-09-2010, 10:14 AM

Hockey Dad, do you really give shit? And what's up with you typing "kiddo" to people?

AGDee · #86 05-09-2010, 11:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hockey Dad

I think you've really been pretty screwed up by that hockey douche and your previous marriage. I get the whole "I'm afraid of marriage" type of thing, but you really gotta get out of that mode unless you just want to have fun. Who said you had to even get serious with anyone?

This is where YOU brought him up. I'm not whining about not having somebody. I do whine about first dates.. I hate them. The user name made me laugh. Believe it or not, I'm not one of the people here who reports you or hates you. I think you're funny. But, you don't know me at all. I was married for a long time to my second husband and dated him for a long time before we got married, so saying I'm not a long term chick is funny. I'm looking for long term without marriage, which is what I've said all along. And yes, I actively communicate with a variety of men through a variety of means to see if the person I would want that with is out there while still having a full, rich life with or without a partner. That isn't a contradiction.

You see things in black and white and don't seem to be able to see the gray areas in life. Most of life is gray. I love good cheesecake. I will seek out good cheesecake. I won't waste the calories eating bad cheesecake though and I won't be unhappy with my life in general if I never found a good cheesecake again. I'd just enjoy other desserts instead. If a good cheesecake gave me food poisoning, I'd be upset and disappointed and turned off from cheesecake altogether for a while. Eventually, I'd seek out some good cheesecake again.

Men are like cheesecake

christiangirl · #87 05-09-2010, 07:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AGDee

Men are like cheesecake

That whole paragraph gets a nice, big FTW.

AGDee · #88 05-09-2010, 08:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by christiangirl

That whole paragraph gets a nice, big FTW.

I was thinking I might have to make that my signature.

Todd Bridges · #89 05-14-2010, 03:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AGDee

LOL. Interesting way to put it. No, I wouldn't "use" the dude for health insurance. I would like a life partner but I don't want to marry again. I might consider living with someone. If I was in a long term partnership and one of us were laid off or lost health insurance for one reason or another, and the only way that the other one could get it was to get married, I would marry him. To me, that is the only advantage of marrying after age 45 when you've already raised your family. I can see no other reason to enter into that legal contract. Does that make more sense?

I feel you. I've been married for 10 years, and if something happened to this one, I wouldn't marry again. I'm in my 40s too, and I can't see the point, at least not at this age. Plus, I've got a son and a daughter, so I have the best of both worlds with them, alone.