To Wait or Not To Wait: That is the Question

[AGDee]

Originally Posted by Todd Bridges

That doesn't make any sense. Health insurance? So you would use the dude for health insurance?

LOL. Interesting way to put it. No, I wouldn't "use" the dude for health insurance. I would like a life partner but I don't want to marry again. I might consider living with someone. If I was in a long term partnership and one of us were laid off or lost health insurance for one reason or another, and the only way that the other one could get it was to get married, I would marry him. To me, that is the only advantage of marrying after age 45 when you've already raised your family. I can see no other reason to enter into that legal contract. Does that make more sense?

[Thetagirl218]

I been to weddings that were extravagant....i.e. full course meals with fancy stuff, open bar, at a premium venue that sort of thing. I love being a guest at those weddings, but never ever would I be able to afford something like that.

I have also been to weddings that have a nice little ceremony in their local church and then use the fellowship hall for the reception. Most of these are usually potluck, but one I just attended had a restaurant quality meal that had been donated (The couple was in ministry at the church).

I want a happy balance between the two. While I love shows like Say Yes to the Dress, I can't not fathom spending that much money on a single piece of clothing.

[honeychile]

Originally Posted by Thetagirl218

While I love shows like Say Yes to the Dress, I can't not fathom spending that much money on a single piece of clothing....

...That you'll only wear once.

When you really look at the whole concept, it's obscene. No wonder so many people outside of our culture think we're out of control.

[VandalSquirrel]

Originally Posted by honeychile

...That you'll only wear once.

When you really look at the whole concept, it's obscene. No wonder so many people outside of our culture think we're out of control.

I've worn my sister's wedding dress for ritual/initiation more times than she ever wore it. My membership has also lasted longer than that marriage did

[Psi U MC Vito]

Originally Posted by VandalSquirrel

I've worn my sister's wedding dress for ritual/initiation more times than she ever wore it. My membership has also lasted longer than that marriage did

I actually remember reading that a wedding gone used to not be such a big deal. Women would just wear their favorite dress, or have a new one made, but with the intent of wearing it multiple times.

[Psi U MC Vito]

Originally Posted by Hockey Dad

I think you've really been pretty screwed up by that hockey douche and your previous marriage. I get the whole "I'm afraid of marriage" type of thing, but you really gotta get out of that mode unless you just want to have fun. Who said you had to even get serious with anyone?

Some people prefer serious relationships. A lot of people can't do casual relationships, especially above a certain age.

[AGDee]

Originally Posted by Hockey Dad

Yeah, but she's saying she doesn't want to get married. Some dudes would get tired of that shit and want more. Most people are doing the casual thing now, so why marry, or get serious. I think it causes more problems if anything. Especially in her case.

I decided the day I asked for a divorce that I would never marry again. What is the point in marrying after you've already raised your family? Why deal with all the financial crap, community property, etc.? Besides, I've been divorced twice. Obviously, I didn't follow through on those vows the first two times, why in the world would anybody, including myself, believe that I would keep those vows a third time? Yes, I want a long term, steady partner. No, I don't want to have to jump through a million legal hoops, pay attorneys a bunch of money and end up broke when I want to leave him. And no, I can't engage in physical intimacy without emotional intimacy. Those are my life choices. If there is a "Mr. Right" in this world for me, then he will accept that. If not, then so be it. It may very well be the reason that Hockey Dad left. I know it's the reason that at least two other relationships didn't work out and that's fine with me if that's the case. I do know that I cannot and will not promise "til death do us part" when I don't mean it.

I've said it a million times before.. I'd rather be alone than be with the wrong person. I'm fine with being alone and I'd be fine if I found someone who thinks like I do. Either way, it's fine. It doesn't mean I'll stop looking around to see if that person exists, but it doesn't mean I'll sit around and mope if he doesn't. You seem more upset at the idea of me being alone than I am..lol.

[Todd Bridges]

Originally Posted by AGDee

LOL. Interesting way to put it. No, I wouldn't "use" the dude for health insurance. I would like a life partner but I don't want to marry again. I might consider living with someone. If I was in a long term partnership and one of us were laid off or lost health insurance for one reason or another, and the only way that the other one could get it was to get married, I would marry him. To me, that is the only advantage of marrying after age 45 when you've already raised your family. I can see no other reason to enter into that legal contract. Does that make more sense?

I feel you. I've been married for 10 years, and if something happened to this one, I wouldn't marry again. I'm in my 40s too, and I can't see the point, at least not at this age. Plus, I've got a son and a daughter, so I have the best of both worlds with them, alone.