To Wait or Not To Wait: That is the Question

Munchkin03 · #1 05-04-2010, 09:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

If you got married but didn't have a wedding and you want to celebrate your marriage a year later, cool. But call it an anniversary party/celebration or something. It's not a wedding. Don't get me started on registering for gifts for it. My mom was invited to the "wedding" of one of her friend's kids last year. They had been married for TWO years already, owned a home, had a KID, and registered for gifts. Seriously? You have been married 2 years already. No gifts for you. lol.

This is a trend right now, it seems. Most of the time, it's military couples who need to get married soonish for benefits or power of attorney. I understand the quick wedding for practical purposes. One of my girlfriends married her guy (they already have a kid), and they were supposed to just do the JOP thing with immediate family and have a larger ceremony/reception for everyone else later on. Well, the JOP thing grew into a huge deal with photographers, a custom-made dress, and an announcement in the NY Times. That's great and I'm happy for them, but then they still want to do the big friends event--on a holiday weekend. WTF? You can't have it both ways. Granted, I know people who were already planning the wedding when things changed quickly and they needed to get married legally right away. I understand those circumstances a little bit more.

I think it comes down to people thinking that they're "entitled" to a big wedding even when they can't swing it for very practical reasons. There's no requirement for a fancy wedding.

AGDee · #2 05-04-2010, 02:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Munchkin03

This is a trend right now, it seems. Most of the time, it's military couples who need to get married soonish for benefits or power of attorney. I understand the quick wedding for practical purposes. One of my girlfriends married her guy (they already have a kid), and they were supposed to just do the JOP thing with immediate family and have a larger ceremony/reception for everyone else later on. Well, the JOP thing grew into a huge deal with photographers, a custom-made dress, and an announcement in the NY Times. That's great and I'm happy for them, but then they still want to do the big friends event--on a holiday weekend. WTF? You can't have it both ways. Granted, I know people who were already planning the wedding when things changed quickly and they needed to get married legally right away. I understand those circumstances a little bit more.

I think it comes down to people thinking that they're "entitled" to a big wedding even when they can't swing it for very practical reasons. There's no requirement for a fancy wedding.

Seems like you could do that sort of thing without even telling people, which is probably what I'd do in that situation. At this point, the only reason I'd ever get married is health insurance so I don't think I'd even tell people I got married if I did.

Todd Bridges · #3 05-07-2010, 06:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AGDee

Seems like you could do that sort of thing without even telling people, which is probably what I'd do in that situation. At this point, the only reason I'd ever get married is health insurance so I don't think I'd even tell people I got married if I did.

That doesn't make any sense. Health insurance? So you would use the dude for health insurance?

AGDee · #4 05-07-2010, 07:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Todd Bridges

That doesn't make any sense. Health insurance? So you would use the dude for health insurance?

LOL. Interesting way to put it. No, I wouldn't "use" the dude for health insurance. I would like a life partner but I don't want to marry again. I might consider living with someone. If I was in a long term partnership and one of us were laid off or lost health insurance for one reason or another, and the only way that the other one could get it was to get married, I would marry him. To me, that is the only advantage of marrying after age 45 when you've already raised your family. I can see no other reason to enter into that legal contract. Does that make more sense?

Thetagirl218 · #5 05-07-2010, 09:08 AM

I been to weddings that were extravagant....i.e. full course meals with fancy stuff, open bar, at a premium venue that sort of thing. I love being a guest at those weddings, but never ever would I be able to afford something like that.

I have also been to weddings that have a nice little ceremony in their local church and then use the fellowship hall for the reception. Most of these are usually potluck, but one I just attended had a restaurant quality meal that had been donated (The couple was in ministry at the church).

I want a happy balance between the two. While I love shows like Say Yes to the Dress, I can't not fathom spending that much money on a single piece of clothing.

honeychile · #6 05-08-2010, 01:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Thetagirl218

While I love shows like Say Yes to the Dress, I can't not fathom spending that much money on a single piece of clothing....

...That you'll only wear once.

When you really look at the whole concept, it's obscene. No wonder so many people outside of our culture think we're out of control.

VandalSquirrel · #7 05-08-2010, 01:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by honeychile

...That you'll only wear once.

When you really look at the whole concept, it's obscene. No wonder so many people outside of our culture think we're out of control.

I've worn my sister's wedding dress for ritual/initiation more times than she ever wore it. My membership has also lasted longer than that marriage did

Todd Bridges · #8 05-14-2010, 03:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AGDee

LOL. Interesting way to put it. No, I wouldn't "use" the dude for health insurance. I would like a life partner but I don't want to marry again. I might consider living with someone. If I was in a long term partnership and one of us were laid off or lost health insurance for one reason or another, and the only way that the other one could get it was to get married, I would marry him. To me, that is the only advantage of marrying after age 45 when you've already raised your family. I can see no other reason to enter into that legal contract. Does that make more sense?

I feel you. I've been married for 10 years, and if something happened to this one, I wouldn't marry again. I'm in my 40s too, and I can't see the point, at least not at this age. Plus, I've got a son and a daughter, so I have the best of both worlds with them, alone.