Hyphenated last names

[DrPhil]

Originally Posted by cheerfulgreek

Her last name is Johnson. I told her that if he doesn't want to go through with it, to only date guys with Johnson as their last name. That shouldn't be too hard to do.

I want to announce that there are a couple of jokes that came to mind when reading this. I shall behave.

[sceniczip]

I want to keep my last name. I'm the last person in my family to have it so it's something special to me. Plus BF's last name is Duncan. How boring Mine's French and I love it Plus I won't have students calling me by my mother-in-law's name lol. Neither of us want kids but if we did I'm sure we could work something out. Honestly, I think his family will care but he doesn't.

[agzg]

Live-in doesn't care what I do but he is not willing to change his last name. I can respect that, because if I don't choose to change my maiden name then how can I expect him to change his last name?

I've thought about keeping my maiden name but answering to Mrs. Live-in if people choose to call me that. Especially considering that people mess up my first name all the time (which is hilarious to me, considering it's an especially common name for people in my age group) and I still answer. I guess it's just not that important to me, though, because I've also seriously considered taking his last name mostly because there are already five Ms./Mrs./Miss zgs in my family anyway, and no Ms./Mrs./Miss -Ins in his (his mother goes by her maiden name, especially since his parents' divorce).

I do think I'd prefer to have the kids have his last name though. But I suppose that depends on whose health insurance package wins - his or mine. I'd prefer that it be obvious that these children are covered by either him or me. Of course, that could always change as well.

I guess that was a long-winded way of saying that this is the first time I've really thought about it in earnest, so it's really not that important to me.

[KSUViolet06]

I'm thinking I will hyphenate just because I'm planning to get a Doctorate and I want to keep my name in there somewhere.

However, I would still answer to Mrs. Husband's name. My mom is hyphenated and still answers to Mrs. Stepdad's Lastname.

[AGDee]

Originally Posted by agzg

Live-in doesn't care what I do but he is not willing to change his last name. I can respect that, because if I don't choose to change my maiden name then how can I expect him to change his last name?

I've thought about keeping my maiden name but answering to Mrs. Live-in if people choose to call me that. Especially considering that people mess up my first name all the time (which is hilarious to me, considering it's an especially common name for people in my age group) and I still answer. I guess it's just not that important to me, though, because I've also seriously considered taking his last name mostly because there are already five Ms./Mrs./Miss zgs in my family anyway, and no Ms./Mrs./Miss -Ins in his (his mother goes by her maiden name, especially since his parents' divorce).

I do think I'd prefer to have the kids have his last name though. But I suppose that depends on whose health insurance package wins - his or mine. I'd prefer that it be obvious that these children are covered by either him or me. Of course, that could always change as well.

I guess that was a long-winded way of saying that this is the first time I've really thought about it in earnest, so it's really not that important to me.

With coordinated health benefits, they go by whose birthday comes first in the year. My kids are covered by both of us, but his used to trump because his bday is March 2nd and mine is March 10th. However, it's never a guarantee on which of you will be covering them. With him unemployed, it's all on me right now.

[ZTA72]

Originally Posted by Kappamd

However, I did tell him that we best be married by the time I graduate with that M.D. behind my name, because it's not changing after that.

I know many female physicians who keep their name and then if married after graduation then use their husband's name socially and for any children. It seems to work well to separate work and social/family life.

[ZTA72]

Originally Posted by SWTXBelle

ICurrently my maiden name is my middle name - I took the last name of my husband, but still retained my previous name. I'm happy with it.

Sorry to double post...but this ^^^ is what I did as well and I like it. It also helps that I dislike my first name, so my middle name became my first, my maiden as middle and married name as last.

[preciousjeni]

I'm legally hyphenated, but socially Mrs. husband's lastname. Our children, should we have any, will take his last name.

I knew I was going into Christian ministry, so I did it as a challenge to the traditional interpretation of the Haustafeln.

[Gusteau]

Originally Posted by AGDee

That said, I have co-workers who kept their maiden names completely. One doesn't care if things come to Mr. & Dr. HisLastName. Another one has an absolute fit.

This is a pet peeve of mine - I don't mind if you correct me, I mean it is your name, but when people get militant and angry about it... If you're going to go against such a longstanding social convention I'm fine with it, just be patient in explaining your situation to those who have not been informed of it - there's no need to get angry.

[Smile_Awhile]

I really do think what I will end up doing depends on where I am in my career. My last name is incredibly unique, and rather memorable. If I have enough of a career built up by the time I get married, I will still use my maiden name professionally. If I don't... well, I still might use it professionally.

On a personal level, my own mother kept her maiden name as her middle name and her last name became my father's last name. I would like to do that, except for the fact that I think my last name would be incredibly weird as a middle name and I'm rather fond of how my first and middle name sound together. So maybe I'll just add my husband's last name onto the end, and have two middle names... or something. I don't know, and I have a few years to figure it out. But socially (and probably legally), I do plan on going by Mrs. Whatever when that time comes.

[GTAlphaPhi]

I've always planned on keeping my last name or doing what Jay-Z and Beyonce did (they're both Knowles-Carter now). The BF and I have already had this discussion and he's fine with me being Ms. X, him being Mr. Y, and any kids being X-Y. He's not so enthusiastic about all of us being the X-Y family (i.e. HIM changing HIS name), which I think can have value has a unifying family characteristic, so I'm working on it!

[DrPhil]

Originally Posted by GTAlphaPhi

Jay-Z and Beyonce did (they're both Knowles-Carter now).

Darnit! I have to like Jay-Z and Beyonce now. I respect that A LOT.

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by Gusteau

This is a pet peeve of mine - I don't mind if you correct me, I mean it is your name, but when people get militant and angry about it... If you're going to go against such a longstanding social convention I'm fine with it, just be patient in explaining your situation to those who have not been informed of it - there's no need to get angry.

I have friends who are like this too.

One friend was still Girl Maidenname on FB. So I assumed she was still Girl Maidenname in real life.

Somebody called her Girl Maidenname once and she freaked out and was like "OMGWTFBBQ I'm Girl HUBBYSNAME now!!!!"

[lovespink88]

Originally Posted by Gusteau

This is a pet peeve of mine - I don't mind if you correct me, I mean it is your name, but when people get militant and angry about it... If you're going to go against such a longstanding social convention I'm fine with it, just be patient in explaining your situation to those who have not been informed of it - there's no need to get angry.

LOL This made me laugh...a few years ago when I was still in HS and working my HS job, I was helping my boss out with her wedding invitations during down time. I can't tell you how many envelopes I ended up having to reprint because the person to whom it was addressed was very picky about the way it was addressed. However, I didn't have that information from the start... All I had was the name of the husband, name of the wife, and his last name. It was such a mess...

[jdrama]

I never thought about hyphenating my name at all. My last name is SO different that I always wanted to get married so it would change to be "normal". My father has a son so he can carry us on. I'll be Mrs, Hubbylastname.

With a hyphenated last name, you have to sign documents with First, MI, LastName1-Lastname2. Thats a lot!