American Torry-Ann Hansen SENDS BACK Adopted Russian Son Artem

[AOII Angel]

Originally Posted by deepimpact2

The thing is people seem to forget that there are many Black families out there that wish to adopt.

And also, while agencies will often let white couples adopt Black children, it is rare that they allow Black families to adopt White children.
I personally don't much care for white couples adopting Black children because I do feel that there are culture issues. But I feel that way in general. Prime example was one of my former students who was Navajo. She was adopted by a white woman when she was 3. She is now 19 and she knows absolutely NOTHING about Navajo traditions and culture. NOTHING. It broke my heart to see that because I felt that while she got a good home, she was still being robbed of the opportunity to explore her heritage. Her mother's excuse was that she didn't know anything about the Navajo culture and so she figured that the child would just be okay without knowing it.

In many ways I agree with you, IF there is a choice between an equally qualified black and white couple, the black child should go to the black couple. If there is a plethora of black families looking to adopt black children, then why are there so many older black children looking for homes? Or is it that no one wants an older child no matter what color? Is being raised in a white family with no inkling of black heritage (which is easier for the average white persona to bumble through than Navejo culture, BTW...also, might I add that many Navejo have lost their culture while living in their own reservations!) than to be raised in a system of foster homes?

I have a really good friend who is Vietnamese and was raised along with her adopted brother, who is mixed white/black, by a white family. She has NO Vietnamese culture and no interest. She is highly educated, and if you try to tell her that she should have an interest, she would tell you that it's not your business. Her Vietnamese parents gave her up for adoption. Her white parents gave her a life. She isn't without her problems (not because of her lack of Vietnamese culture but because of other family issues that would be there if she had been their natural child.)

The sad thing about Russia is that THEY don't want to adopt those children. Less than 300 children are adopted within the country each year! That is pitiful. If American adoptions stop, all these children will just stay in horrible orphanages for longer periods of time.

[deepimpact2]

Originally Posted by AOII Angel

The sad thing about Russia is that THEY don't want to adopt those children. Less than 300 children are adopted within the country each year! That is pitiful. If American adoptions stop, all these children will just stay in horrible orphanages for longer periods of time.

I just truly wonder if it really is a matter of them not WANTING to adopt those children. From what I have learned, many of these countries are so interested in getting lots of American money into their system, that they won't ALLOW people in these countries to adopt. Instead they set up adoptions with American families.

[AOII Angel]

Originally Posted by deepimpact2

I just truly wonder if it really is a matter of them not WANTING to adopt those children. From what I have learned, many of these countries are so interested in getting lots of American money into their system, that they won't ALLOW people in these countries to adopt. Instead they set up adoptions with American families.

I heard a recent report on NPR about this issue. There is a big issue in Russia that people will not take in other people's children. They won't even do it for members of their own family. The 300 children adopted last year were due to a huge campaign to encourage adoption within the country since they are concerned that their population is aging, and they are sending a large proportion of their young to America as unwanted orphans. There has been a lot of backlash against American adoptions over the past few years with Russia calling for the US to guarantee that the US will uphold their adoption laws which the US has refused to do.

[carnation]

Fetal Alcohol Syndrome and Fetal Alcohol Effect are enormous problems in Russia. You can't always detect them at birth. We know a local doctor who adopted a baby that one of his patients had and the child was later diagnosed with FAE. In the meantime, he was kicked out of the school where my husband taught and came close to it in a school where I taught. He was a bizarre, disturbed child but it didn't show up until he was about 5. Anyway, Russians are well aware that many of their babies are born with this and who would blame them for being scared to adopt? Not to mention that so many Russian are desperately poor...

Our social worker is black. He said he doesn't have any black families who want to adopt and he wishes he did. I know there are some out there because there were at least 3 black couples in our IMPACT group but they were from out of town so I have no idea how their search has gone.

[AOII Angel]

Originally Posted by carnation

Fetal Alcohol Syndrome and Fetal Alcohol Effect are enormous problems in Russia. You can't always detect them at birth. We know a local doctor who adopted a baby that one of his patients had and the child was later diagnosed with FAE. In the meantime, he was kicked out of the school where my husband taught and came close to it in a school where I taught. He was a bizarre, disturbed child but it didn't show up until he was about 5. Anyway, Russians are well aware that many of their babies are born with this and who would blame them for being scared to adopt? Not to mention that so many Russian are desperately poor...

Our social worker is black. He said he doesn't have any black families who want to adopt and he wishes he did. I know there are some out there because there were at least 3 black couples in our IMPACT group but they were from out of town so I have no idea how their search has gone.

I think that there will always be a little mystery when taking a baby home whether it's your natural child or adopted. What gets me is this crazy lady from TN! What did she think she was going to get when she adopted a 7 year old orphan from Russia?! There was a 0% chance this kid was going to be a normal, well adjusted child. Hell, there is a 0% chance a 7 year old orphan in the US is a normal, well adjusted child. Whether they told her he was normal or not, she is either stupid or Pollyanna to think he wouldn't be a holy terror!

[33girl]

Originally Posted by AOII Angel

What did she think she was going to get when she adopted a 7 year old orphan from Russia?! There was a 0% chance this kid was going to be a normal, well adjusted child. Hell, there is a 0% chance a 7 year old orphan in the US is a normal, well adjusted child. Whether they told her he was normal or not, she is either stupid or Pollyanna to think he wouldn't be a holy terror!

I think that's taking it a little far to the other side of the spectrum. 0%?? I really do not think so, and that attitude is why we have wonderful children languishing for their whole lives in the system.

Some normal children do become abandoned or orphaned after having led fairly normal lives. Families aren't as big as they used to be and there just simply may not be anywhere for the child to go.

[AOII Angel]

Originally Posted by 33girl

I think that's taking it a little far to the other side of the spectrum. 0%?? I really do not think so, and that attitude is why we have wonderful children languishing for their whole lives in the system.

Some normal children do become abandoned or orphaned after having led fairly normal lives. Families aren't as big as they used to be and there just simply may not be anywhere for the child to go.

I really mean 0%...yes, there will be a spectrum, but you put a child in this kind of environment, and you will have some type of psychological damage, even if they have been there a short time, ie. sudden loss of both parents. The damage may be slight, but it will be there. Coming from Russia where the orphanage system is so deplorable and alcoholism is rampant, the likelihood that the psychological damage is significant is much more extreme. You even see this with the younger children who have been in these orphanages who have trouble bonding with their adoptive families because they were neglected as newborns.

You add into this that the reason a lot of these children have not been adopted by this point is that they have some physical problem and this compounds their issues. Parents who are adopting older children MUST go into the adoption with their eyes wide open. There aren't a bunch of "Annies" running around just waiting for a good home. Their are a bunch of kids who need a break and a lot of professional help (be it psychological, medical, physical therapy, etc.) If you aren't prepared to give that kind of assistance, don't adopt an older child.

[christiangirl]

Originally Posted by BabyPiNK_FL

While I'm sure they exist, my black family doesn't personally know any black families adopting either. Do you have any personal experiences you could share as to help clarify?

Until you mentioned it, I didn't realize how many adoptions there were in my family.

Aunt A: adopted 1 girl
Aunt B: adopted 1 girl
Aunt/Uncle: adopted a boy

There are different methods of adoptions than just going through agencies, though. Aunt A took legal guardianship of a friend's daughter in addition to the one she adopted. One of my cousins just took guardianship of a friend's 17-year-old son. I don't see a lot of black families (excluding my own) going to agencies for children but rather taking in friends' or relatives' children so they don't end up in the system. I'm know this happens frequently in all cultures, but I can only speak for my own when I say maybe there's a higher rate/increase in these types of adoptions (thus partially explaining the low number of black families in the agency pool)?

[BabyPiNK_FL]

Originally Posted by christiangirl

Until you mentioned it, I didn't realize how many adoptions there were in my family.

Aunt A: adopted 1 girl
Aunt B: adopted 1 girl
Aunt/Uncle: adopted a boy

There are different methods of adoptions than just going through agencies, though. Aunt A took legal guardianship of a friend's daughter in addition to the one she adopted. One of my cousins just took guardianship of a friend's 17-year-old son. I don't see a lot of black families (excluding my own) going to agencies for children but rather taking in friends' or relatives' children so they don't end up in the system. I'm know this happens frequently in all cultures, but I can only speak for my own when I say maybe there's a higher rate/increase in these types of adoptions (thus partially explaining the low number of black families in the agency pool)?

I'm more familiar with this. Adopting kids to keep them out of the system has always been well-known within the community. On one local news station, I swear every story manages to mention who is whose child in the house where an incident occurs without fail.