Resigning/Disaffiliating... Help!!

[als463]

Originally Posted by gagirl90

I'm not trying to do that. I don't think they're freaks. I do think they are more concerned with image than I am, and have different priorities than I about their college experience. I'm not trying to bash them but to ask for advice on people's experience disaffiliating, I should give background.
Considering most of my friends are nongreek, and I am the only Greek in my family, it is hard to find an unbiased but informed opinion. And like I said, the girls I am closest with are the graduating seniors (who should have no effect on my choice since they'll be gone) or a few girls in my PC that are not very involved (Our chapter is only about 150 total since our quota is usually btwn 40-50, we have deferred rush, and a fair amount of girls drop, compared to others) I also find this inappropriate to discuss with my little or the other freshman I am close with- what a load to bear right after being initiated!!!
I'm sorry, maybe we have different opinions about how I should ask for advice but I discovered this board and thought it would be useful. Maybe you aren't the right person to answer this, though I appreciate your input. Hopefully someone who can relate to the scenario will stumble upon this.
Thanks anyways for your help so far!

You realize that by saying you attend an SEC school, with the name GA girl, and talking about respecting the Student Body President in your chapter, even though you aren't a "top tier" chapter on campus, it took me seconds to know what school and what sorority. I'm horrible at these types of searches (compared to other seasoned GCers) and I have to say that by giving out information about yourself, you will be lucky if the ladies in your chapter find out who you are and get upset that you blasted their dirty laundry on Greek Chat. You totally put your chapter on blast. Discretion is key.

You should consider yourself blessed to be a member of an NPC at an SEC school (or any school, for that matter). If you think you are above these girls and don't want to stay, don't stay. They took a chance on you and now you are ready to drop them. Wow! So much for sisterhood.

And for the record, your chapter may not be top on your campus, but I am here to tell you that it is a great sorority. Have some allegiance to the women who gave you a bid.

[VandalSquirrel]

Originally Posted by als463

You realize that by saying you attend an SEC school, with the name GA girl, and talking about respecting the Student Body President in your chapter, even though you aren't a "top tier" chapter on campus, it took me seconds to know what school and what sorority. I'm horrible at these types of searches (compared to other seasoned GCers) and I have to say that by giving out information about yourself, you will be lucky if the ladies in your chapter find out who you are and get upset that you blasted their dirty laundry on Greek Chat. You totally put your chapter on blast. Discretion is key.

You should consider yourself blessed to be a member of an NPC at an SEC school (or any school, for that matter). If you think you are above these girls and don't want to stay, don't stay. They took a chance on you and now you are ready to drop them. Wow! So much for sisterhood.

And for the record, your chapter may not be top on your campus, but I am here to tell you that it is a great sorority. Have some allegiance to the women who gave you a bid.

The only SEC school in Georgia doesn't do deferred recruitment, so she isn't being that obvious. Also she didn't say Student Body president, but members of student government, and there are lots of those from all kinds of groups. If it is like my school that could be the person who is on a committee to bring musical acts and one of 100 people, and there is a full Greek representation.

gagril90-
You mentioned having some emotional issues, and you've sought help. Keep doing that with professionals and don't take it personally if your sisters don't get as involved as you expect them to. Sometimes people really don't see another needs help, can't emotionally deal with it, or have the same issue and helping you makes them face it. It isn't that sisters cannot be supportive and a great resource, but use the campus professionals like the health and counseling center and I commend you for admitting you have issues and that you've gotten help. Many people are in denial or refuse to do something about it and you've done the hardest part. Maybe taking care of "you" will help you see the perspective of your chapter and you'll learn a better way to address issues or get to the heart of the matter.

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by VandalSquirrel

gagril90-
You mentioned having some emotional issues, and you've sought help. Keep doing that with professionals and don't take it personally if your sisters don't get as involved as you expect them to. Sometimes people really don't see another needs help, can't emotionally deal with it, or have the same issue and helping you makes them face it. It isn't that sisters cannot be supportive and a great resource, but use the campus professionals like the health and counseling center and I commend you for admitting you have issues and that you've gotten help. Many people are in denial or refuse to do something about it and you've done the hardest part. Maybe taking care of "you" will help you see the perspective of your chapter and you'll learn a better way to address issues or get to the heart of the matter.

This.

Don't think they're being insensitive if they don't respond in the way you'd like them to. Often, people get upset because those around them aren't immediately recognizing that they're having a hard time with something. But they're not trained professionals and sometimes they don't get it. It's not that they do not care about you.

[gagirl90]

Originally Posted by VandalSquirrel

gagril90-
You mentioned having some emotional issues, and you've sought help. Keep doing that with professionals and don't take it personally if your sisters don't get as involved as you expect them to. Sometimes people really don't see another needs help, can't emotionally deal with it, or have the same issue and helping you makes them face it. It isn't that sisters cannot be supportive and a great resource, but use the campus professionals like the health and counseling center and I commend you for admitting you have issues and that you've gotten help. Many people are in denial or refuse to do something about it and you've done the hardest part. Maybe taking care of "you" will help you see the perspective of your chapter and you'll learn a better way to address issues or get to the heart of the matter.

I know this sounds like I have to be crazy/exaggerating but no way could I make this up. Yes I also had these problems with the sorority and feeling unwanted before hand, and no my sisters wrongfully accusing me of illegal actions is completely unrelated.

You know, just to get the whole story out there. And to those who have provided helpful insight thank you. To those who just want to figure out my chapter and school, have fun with it because I really don't care if you find out. I havent given too much info, so if you take the time to google, that is kind of creepy.

Edit: Sorry I am unclear... basically the first half of this post was to explain that my emotional "issues" stem from sisters in the first place.

[VandalSquirrel]

Originally Posted by gagirl90

I know this sounds like I have to be crazy/exaggerating but no way could I make this up.

BIG SNIP

You know, just to get the whole story out there. And to those who have provided helpful insight thank you. To those who just want to figure out my chapter and school, have fun with it because I really don't care if you find out. I havent given too much info, so if you take the time to google, that is kind of creepy.

I'm not quoting your whole post so you can delete or edit if you want.

Obviously that is a stressful situation, and KSUViolet and I (her more than me) have background in mental health and some people are probably not coping well either, and please don't dismiss your whole chapter because of a few people and their issues. I think everyone on this board can relate to a time when something really made them mad and frustrated with their brothers and sisters to the point of considering ending their membership for some, and an incident as you explained can make things escalate and so many times a stressful situation can trigger other issues and make other things happen.

Talk to a sister you trust, and maybe an alumna but if you're just looking to get things out that could backfire if she decides to take action. This is why we're suggesting an uninvolved professional who can be more neutral. Just talking to someone and organizing your thoughts can be therapeutic and beneficial. Hopefully spring break is soon and you'll be able to get away and get some perspective.

[gagirl90]

Just to reiterate, I really don't intend to use these posts to air my dirty laundry about my sorority. I really just wanted people's opinions on whether these actions justified contacting nationals (about false accusations and subsequent threat of kicking me out from my sisters), and I wanted insight from retrospective thoughts from others who have been faced with the decision to drop, regardless of the choice thy make.
Again thank you to everyone who has helped so far but I would really like the opinion of those who have thought of resigning and didn't for whatever reason, or people with the same conflict now (I just realized people who resigned wouldn't be here. It is a helpful site and was among the first to pop up when I googled "how to resign from a sorority" haha)

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by gagirl90

Just to reiterate, I really don't intend to use these posts to air my dirty laundry about my sorority. I really just wanted people's opinions on whether these actions justified contacting nationals, and I wanted insight from retrospective thoughts from others who have been faced with this decision, regardless of the choice thy make.


Again thank you to everyone who has helped so far but I would really like the opinion of those who have thought of resigning and didn't for whatever reason, or people with the same conflict now (I just realized people who resigned wouldn't be here. It is a helpful site and was among the first to pop up when I googled "how to resign from a sorority" haha)

If you do a search for "quitting" of "resigning" or "terminating" you will find TONS of threads about the same thing you're asking.

[gagirl90]

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

If you do a search for "quitting" of "resigning" or "terminating" you will find TONS of threads about the same thing you're asking.

As written in my first post, I used the search function first. Just because I'm new doesn't mean I don't catch on. Please feel free to post relevant links and delete this post if that will make you happy. I'd appreciate you linking me to these posts because when I typed in resigning and deactivating I didn't quite find them.

[Ggirl617]

gagirl-

just think about this before you decide to drop:

i am the expert of walking away when i don't like a situation and i have regretted it EVERY SINGLE TIME, without exception, no joke, and trust me i have walked away A LOT. no situation in your life will ever be perfect but it is about making the best of it. i think you could gain greatly from your sorority, but if it is your time to leave, so be it. please don't let the emotions of this situation make your decision though

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by gagirl90

You know, just to get the whole story out there. And to those who have provided helpful insight thank you. To those who just want to figure out my chapter and school, have fun with it because I really don't care if you find out. I havent given too much info, so if you take the time to google, that is kind of creepy.

Edit: Sorry I am unclear... basically the first half of this post was to explain that my emotional "issues" stem from sisters in the first place.

I am really unsure of what you hope to gain by posting this.

We have given you genuinue advice.

I don't know if you're trying to get us to see "wow look what meanies these girls are" or what.

Billions of people use Google everyday. There's nothing creepy about it.

It's creepier that you would post such a personal situation on the internet, saying that this is your "close friend" you were dealing with.

If you are having issues, get some help. But there is no need to post about this situation on a message board knowing that it's a personal matter that I'm sure she wouldn't want the entire free world to know about.

[gagirl90]

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

I am really unsure of what you hope to gain by posting this.

We have given you genuinue advice.

I don't know if you're trying to get us to see "wow look what meanies these girls are" or what.

Billions of people use Google everyday. There's nothing creepy about it.

It's creepier that you would post such a personal situation on the internet, saying that this is your "close friend" you were dealing with.

If you are having issues, get some help. But there is no need to post about this situation on a message board knowing that it's a personal matter that I'm sure she wouldn't want the entire free world to know about.

example of why i am not a fan of greeks as a whole. look, i know you devote your life to this website but please could you not be such a prick to me because i'm a "newb" and just want some effing feedback from people who are deciding whether to drop their sorority... idk as maybe a support thread?
clearly this does not apply to you so please don't reply if it is irrelevant. thanks for trying to help so far but like i said before i think other people who have also been though this situation may have more relevant advice to me.

[VandalSquirrel]

Originally Posted by gagirl90

example of why i am not a fan of greeks as a whole. look, i know you devote your life to this website but please could you not be such a prick to me because i'm a "newb" and just want some effing feedback from people who are deciding whether to drop their sorority... idk as maybe a support thread?
clearly this does not apply to you so please don't reply if it is irrelevant. thanks for trying to help so far but like i said before i think other people who have also been though this situation may have more relevant advice to me.

I'll be blunt with you, a lot of us won't share specific details about issues we've had because we worked through it and don't want to put our organizations or brothers and sisters on blast. I'd use an example of a friend but it may be false as I wasn't involved and only heard her side. We keep suggesting what we're suggesting because it has worked for us and other people. Most of the people I know who resigned regretted it because it was a permanent solution to a short term problem. You're concerned about your social standing and social life because of your school and membership, and want to be in an alumna group. The first may not be an issue, but the second one will definitely be one. I know for some groups you resign, that is it, forever. Others may be more forgiving, you won't know and can't go back at that point.

I know it is very hard because of the situation you mentioned and deleted, and I do not blame you one bit for anger, hurt, frustration, and all of it; but these are a few women at one point in time and if you can get some perspective, do it because it is a decision you're obviously struggling with. I'm guessing you're 19 or 20 and you're in close quarters with these people and it is hard to see beyond it because it is all around you.

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by gagirl90

example of why i am not a fan of greeks as a whole. look, i know you devote your life to this website but please could you not be such a prick to me because i'm a "newb" and just want some effing feedback from people who are deciding whether to drop their sorority... idk as maybe a support thread?
clearly this does not apply to you so please don't reply if it is irrelevant. thanks for trying to help so far but like i said before i think other people who have also been though this situation may have more relevant advice to me.

Love how I'm a terible person for attempting to protect another person's private mental health info.

That's not picking on you, that's reminding you that the internet is a VERY public place.

Sure, I don't care to find out who you guys are, but I don't know who else does. I'm certain you did not ask her permission before you put it out there.

You have no clue what I devote my life to. Furthermore, you came HERE for advice.

I sincerely hope that you do not take this sort of attitude with your sisters, because that was uncalled for.

I hope you get the help you need.